The Crime On Skedaddler Street

This Is Where The Story Starts BTW XD

It's a dark, cold, foggy night in New Yafk. As I
lay unconscious in a pool of my own blood for like the 7th time today probably.. I realized I actually had a good clue. I've been working a case.. the case of a man's stolen wiener-mobile. Sad, but turns out I actually knew exactly who done it.

Hugh: What's up bitch.
I confidently yell while entering my boss's office.

Boss Donna: Hugh.. what are you doing here?

Hugh: I solved it. Heh, turns out the thief really was............................................................................................................ MICHEAL SHABANG.

Donna gasps in awe, realizing that I really was the absolute best detective in all the lands.
Boss Donna: Wow Hugh, you really are our best. I'll have him arrested now.

Hugh: Yeah, I know. After cleaning the piss and blood stains of my pants, I knew I had to come to you with this evidence.

Boss Donna: Well, we have another case for you, Hugh. Hugh, it's for you, HUGH.

Hugh: Yeah.. ok I guess I can check it out. What happened?

Boss Donna: On Skedaddler Street, not to far off from here, a crime was commit. Here's the details.
She tosses a file infront of me, I grab it.

Hugh: Donna you bitch, I'm not reading this shit. YOU KNOW I'M DYSLEXIC.
I projectile throw the file at Donna's face, cutting a chunk of her nose off with those sweet, sharp, paper edges.

Boss Donna: Wow Hugh, you really are still a great aim. Basically someone commit a crime on Skedaddler Street. We need you to figure it out.

Hugh: Yeah you told me that already. What darn danging crime was committed?!

Boss Donna: That's the problem.. we need you to figure it out.

Hugh: DAMMIT QUIT REPEATING YOUR SELF! You sriracha crocodile, how can I solve a crime when I don't even know what crime even got committed?!??!?!!!??!?!?!?!!

Boss Donna: Yeah Hugh, figure it out. We need YOUR help.
She gave me an 'I've made up my mind Hugh, you're the only one for this job my sweet time boy' look, blood streaming down her face.

Hugh: Alright, I guess I'm the only one for the job. I'll solve it damn you. Now, I'll need that file back.

Donna hands me back the file with a smirk.
Boss Donna: I know you can do it Hugh. HUGH CAN DO IT.

Hugh: Heh, just call me by my famous nickname, Hughmongous, because I love Among Us.
I wink at my boss but not it a flirty/sexual way just because we are close friends and I love Among Us and I'm the one for the job.

I walk out of the station and hop in my sleek, black cadillac that I carry all my bitches in. It's time to drive over to Skedaddler Street. Time to skedaddle over to Skedaddler. I'm gonna crack this case, and the I'll spend all the money I earn on crack. I love crack but my true addiction is solving crime.

I reach Skedaddler Street and exit my seductive vehicle.
Hugh: Well, well, well, what do we have here.

On the street lays a diner. 'The Crystal Ball'. It looks perfect for a mysterious detective like myself. Seems like the crime scene will have to wait. I've got myself a hot date with the seat of a diner.

I swing open the restaurants doors. Everyone looks at me then quickly away again. They're clearly intimidated by my gorgeous figure. I make my way over to a seat at the bar. It's warm and cozy. Obviously meant for me to sit in it. A woman then walks towards me.

Waitress: What do you want?
She stares at me, clearly also intimidated, hanging onto my every word.

Hugh: Straight vodka.. oh, and I also need a word with your supervisor.

Waitress: Um, ok Karen.

Hugh: HEY! My name is Hugh Dunnit, NOT Karen. If you address me as such again I'll have no choice but to arrest you.

The woman walks off to the back room. So simple minded for assuming my name, but also that just gives me an advantage.

A new lady walks out, platinum blonde hair in a bun and a unique uniform on.
Lady: Hello doll, I'm Crystal the owner, how can I help you?

Her southern accent confused me but also gave me comfort as if my dead mother was holding me in her supple arms again.
Hugh: I was curious if you've seen any crimes around here? Specifically on this street.

Crystal: Uhm.. I mean I think I heard of some crime being commit on the road. If you want information about anything like that you should talk to Andrew.
She points to a curvaceous man walking by. That must be Andrew.

I glance at his backside but then find myself unable to look away. Not because of his voluptuous ass cheeks but because of a huge skid mark across his pants. The more I stare, the more I realize that the shit streaks looks somewhat like my face. For a strange reason, this makes me blush.

I stand up from my toasty seat and go over to Andrew.
Hugh: Hello, Andrew right?

Andrew: Who's askin?

Hugh: I'm a detective trying to find out about a crime on this street. I'd like your help to figure it out.

Andrew: ..Ok... talk with me.
He sits at an empty booth and waits for me to join him. Of course I accept this invitation.

Hugh: Thank you. I just wanted to know what crime was commit.

Andrew: What? You want to know what crime was even commit?

Hugh: Yeah that's what I just said.
If he wasn't so damn handsome, I'd be furious. I hate repeating myself.

Andrew: Well, a couple days ago, on the road, I heard that a guy and his friend had a tussle. Something crazy must of happened but I'm not sure what.

Hugh: What makes you say that?

Andrew: Afterwards there was blood on the ground and a set of keys. Apparently the coppers snagged it though. However, you should be able to access that, since work for them.

I immediately stop twirling my hair and know what to do next.
Hugh: Thank you Andrew, if you ever have any more information.. text me.
I slide him my business card and take my leave. I guess all the evidence was back where I started.

I sprint back to my car, hoping to seize those keys before the clock strikes midnight. But with a turn in luck, my car had been towed.

Hugh: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! THEY STOLE MY CARRRRRRRRRR!!!!
I cry out and fall to my knees. Looks like justice will have to wait another day.