I tell Donna the story and state the evidence along with it. I am a star and I was shining. This was my moment. To shine. If anyone were to look me directly in the eye they would probably go blind. That's how much I'm shining.
Boss Donna: Well Hugh, this is some information.
Hugh: I know right?! I know what happened and now I can catch the killer!
Boss Donna: Not so fast. Is there any actual proof it was a murder.
Hugh: What? Of course. The video footage along with Cleetus's basically a confession, we know what happened.
Boss Donna: Well to put this guy behind bars you'll have to get solid evidence that he specifically murdered someone.
Hugh: This is bullshit! Quit trying to mess up my investigation Donna!
Boss Donna: I'm not messing up anything this is just the way the law works.
Hugh: Whatever... Can you at least say you're proud of me..?
Boss Donna: What? Hugh you're a grown man and also my employee. I'm not saying I'm proud of you.
Hugh: Pwetty pwease?
I flutter my eyelashes and give Donna an innocent look.
Boss Donna: No.
Hugh: UGH!
I stomp away from Donna. She's too pessimistic. It was time I get some better negotiation tools.
I drive over to the gun shop. My lil pistol has been my right hand gun for ages but I'll need something bigger to scare Cleetus into a complete signed confession.
Inside were walls laced with as many firearms as you could image. Such beauties. This is the American dream. I better get a shotgun.
I get in line to talk to the cashier and infront of me is a loudmouth.
Random man: How much for this shotgun that is the only left in the whole store?
Cashier: Um I don't know. This is my first da-
Hugh: EXSQUEESE ME? THE LAST SHOTGUN IN THE STORE????
My hidden southern accent flourishes from my plump lips as the true American in me rages.
Random man: Yeah.
Hugh: I NEED THAT DAGGUM SHOTGUN FOR SECRET PERSONAL REASONS SO DON'T EVEN THINK TO ASK ME ABOUT IT!
Random man: I got here first so I'm buying this gun. Sorry buddy. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Hugh: WELL THIS COOKIE WONT CRUMBLE ENOUGH FOR BOTH OF US!! I NEED THIS GUN HERE AND DON'T TRY ASKIN ABOUT WHY!
Cashier: Um.. sirs? Can you please calm down? I'm sure there's another shotgun in the back for both of you.
Hugh: Well today is your lucky day pal. Go fetch another shotgun NOW! And stop trying to find out my personal reasons on why I need this gun.
Cashier: Ok... stay right here.
The cashier walks through a door behind him and I death stare the man infront of me.
Random man: Man you cray-cray.
My fists clench up in pure anger. This man has clearly dishonored my name and is very very nosy about my personal reasons on getting this shotgun in my possession.
Luckily for him, the cashier pops back in before I punch this man.
Cashier: Sorry, but that really is the last shotgun we have. I'm not sure why so many people buy them in New Yafk.
I evolve into a higher being out of furiousness.
Hugh: YOU'VE 'DUNNIT' 'HUGHNOUGH' THIS TIME!!
Random man: What does that even mean?
I swiftly and skillfully and super powerfully pummel this man into the ground. This sends a shockwave throughout the whole city. I'm just that strong. Somehow, however, this ox of a man gets up and tackles me. We fight back and forth then I go for one final K.O. punch. But in a flash he swerves and I hit my fist into concrete wall. My bones shatter and I scream in agony. Alas, I'm still able to fight.
Hugh: You make have broken my hand.. but you haven't broken-
Random man: Your spirit?
Hugh: No, MY OTHER HAND!
I land this punch with my non-broken hand, doing better than ever. He's almost down but still going. Finally I, obviously the stronger one, am able to kick his ass LITERALLY! He falls to the ground and I stomp on his body. Unfortunately the cashier didn't take this kindly and called the police. But little does he know I AM THE POLICE!
I land another hit on this man before going after the cashier. They will both pay for this injustice. But suddenly sirens overpower the ringing in my ears and lower class officers enter the shop.
Officer 1: PUT YOUR HANDS UP NOW!
I turn around to see a teensy tiny worthless taser in my face.
Hugh: Listen here buster, you have no idea who you're messing with.
Officer 1: GET ON THE GROUND OR I WILL BE FORCES TO TAZE YOU!
I go to crush this man's puny taser with my muscular hands but a sudden jolt of electricity paralyzes me.
Officer 1: Call for an ambulance while I cuff this loser.
Officer 2: Yes sir.
While I'm defenseless and in a vulnerable state the clearly evil police officers arrest me and put me in the back of their car. Eventually I regain movement but by then the car was already started and heading to the station.
YOU ARE READING
The Crime On Skedaddler Street
Mistério / Suspense"Not many people can solve the cases I do. In many ways I feel like a unicorn... Like a unicorn among unicorns. A unicorn overlord." Hugh Dunnit, New Yaft's best detective is put on the case when a disastrous crime committed by a criminal is commit...
