Underground Shadows

ugh i need to dislike her, but i just can't.

I couldn't sleep for the next 3 days. i laid on my bed the whole night, thinking about her.
why am i like this? why am i thinking about a woman who hates me? still, the thought of being able to even be in her presence never left my mind.

It was 10 AM, i still managed to sleep a little. i had a showcase tonight with my group, and i was quite nervous about it, since we had little to no time to practice. it was a house dance based group, since I've loved house from when i was little.

phone notification

"ellie, you ready for tonight?" - said my groupmate yoon
"you bet"

suddenly my phone started ringing, it was natty

"bestie, how you feeling? you have a showcase tonight, right?"
" im good, wait, how did you know?"
"oh actually chocol,haechi and whole wolf'lo is going to be there tonight, i figured you'd be there too"
"oh- yes, see you there"

6:30 PM

Wolf'lo was performing and tbh, they were amazing as always. everyone cheered for them.

our turn was coming, so i decided to go backstage and prepare myself mentally, when all of a sudden i heard a deep, firm, slightly irritated voice

- So.. i heard you're not gonna compete again, huh ? why is that?

oh god, it's chocol. my heart started pumping like crazy, but i couldn't just show my emotions, i needed to stay calm and do not fall for a woman that literally hated me because i won against her. ugh i need to dislike her, but i just can't.

She looked at me for a moment and then looked away before speaking again

Chocol: Why won't you compete again, huh? Is it cause it's too difficult?

my face was getting red, i couldn't control it. oh god, what was she doing to me?

She was teasing me  but something about her expressions definitely made it feel different than just teasing... she was...angry? did she actually hate me this much? was this was an attempt to make me compete with her again, make me lose and humiliate me? 

- I...um I...
i couldn't say a word. its like she hypnotized me. gosh, she was so beautiful and i hated that.
- I just- its like... too much pressure.
i finally said something

Chocol: Pressure? I mean it's not like you have to win every time you battle. We're supposed to be having fun, and also, you beat me in a battle, that's not something people do very often and I'm sure you have enough skills to compete.

I was slightly taken aback by her sudden "motivational speech",  i had no idea what she wanted to do, but it was working, I got the sudden urge to compete again, to win and gain her respect. if i win I'm finally going to earn her respect and maybe i'll be impressive enough for her. i need to act like a normal human, not some kind of crazy fangirl of hers that stutters everytime she talks to her, so i stayed composed the entire time, or should i say... i stayed ...silent. 

Chocol: and i heard you're actually considering going to bada's class? pftt...i don't recommend her, she's not really good and... and she wont even teach you well, she's an amateur that only choreographs. if you want to learn freestyle, you should battle.

 i wish chocol told me about bada earlier...this way i would've not gone to her class yesterday..

CHOCOL'S POV

trust me, you can actually battle and win, you have so much potential and-

while i was talking, i noticed that she barely even said a word to me during the whole conversation, so i stopped talking halfway. she was just staring at me and couldn't even say a word,  i noticed she didn't even want to be in my presence. did i say something wrong? all i wanted was to motivate her, but the whole time something felt off, it's like she hated me all of a sudden. suddenly someone called her name.