Hopeless love?

Chapter 2

"I don't know what to do.."

That thought is the first thing on your mind.
What happened?
Well, he's gone.

Him being gone again. You never thought you would be hurt THAT bad. But here we are again.

Your friends keep telling and asking you why you keep going back to him.
You think about that question a lot, too.
"Why him?"

I'll tell you why.

There's just something about him. Something that makes you feel safe. You don't know what it is but he's so special to you. No one can replace him...

Maybe it's the fact that we're both interested in the (almost) same things, that we understand each other on a certain level you can't explain to anyone.
You can tell if he's upset when he texts you in a certain way. And he can tell that too.

You don't know what it is that makes you feel so happy when you text or call him.
Maybe his dark yet bright brown eyes. You're mesmerized by that spark.

The way he looks at you when you facetime is making your heart jump every time.
And don't get me started on that adorable smile - I wish you could see that!
Seeing him smile (sometimes after looking at you) is the best thing ever. Because it's that genuine smile, full of love.

And yes, you can see that, even if you only see him over the camera in my phone.
It's amazing what love can do.

People around you asked you before: "Have you ever thought that he's cheating on you with a girl in his country?"

Well...you do get that thought sometimes. These "what ifs" we all know. But you just know that it's all just in your head and my mind playing silly games with you.

You know he's not cheating on you. I mean, why else would he still be here. And trying to get you back in the past after you left each other 3 times?

You don't care if he's texting other girls. As long as he stays loyal and doesn't lie to you, it's fine. Because you can't even do anything about it. ( 😉 )

Oh, and he sends you the cutest texts and paragraphs ever 😭 they're just filled with hope, and you keep telling each other about your dreams on how you'll meet each other one day. What it'll be like. How both of you will react.
What you will do afterward...

And that's the thing that gives you hope. You try to imagine that moment as many times as possible because it just makes you happy.

While trying to imagine your future, he keeps making edits with your face and sending them to you.
Seeing these love-edits makes you realize once again that he loves you. He really does. And you love him too.

Sometimes you feel bad and guilty that you didn't confess your feelings to him earlier, when he first confessed his feelings to you. You keep telling yourself: "What if I just went with it that day?"

Well, maybe that would've been one way. But now you're much more aware of your feelings towards him. You wouldn't want it any other way, even though it's so fucking complicated.

You know you'll be alright.
Both of you DESERVE to be alright.

But... You're scared that you're going to be torn apart again. Because people close to you don't want you guys to be together. You try to understand why, and you can in a certain way, and you try to be respectful and kind to the person, but you're hurt. So incredibly hurt by the fact that someone thinks you're a bad influence on him.

You keep thinking: "Should I leave him? Maybe it can fix some problems. Maybe it'll be better."
No.

You wipe those thoughts away quickly. You NEED him. And you're determined to be with him. No matter what happens. You're stubborn, and you know that.

But if you need to fight for love, you'll do it. No matter what it takes.

You'll fight for him.

<3

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Another chapter done.

Let me know what you think :)

Just so you know: These words come directly from my heart. So I apologize if some things don't make sense😅

Thanks for reading! x

S.