35||a shift within me

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When your lover is woven with destructive magic

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When your lover is woven with destructive magic.

A tragic villain, an addictive breath; however much I inhale, it will never be enough. For me, I am always lurching forward selfishly, without shame. I want Reyansh for my sanity, but whenever he is next to me, I have no control over the sanity for which I wanted him closer to me.

I became a child of insanity.

I became powerful, without a crown.

That's how he is slowly becoming the destructive magic. Living with him is painful. Living without him is unacceptable. Losing him means tearing my heart apart. Yet, for the small boy, for the flower of our love, I have to keep the hidden destructive magic in the deepest inner cage of my heart.

"Mumma, I want to wear the blue one." Veer calls out.

I sigh heavily. I take out his blue shirt, putting the old one which I had taken out for him to wear. Veer stands at the edge of the bed as I sprinkle baby powder over him, dressing him in his blue shirt adorned with a cheerful sun.

"You have someone waiting for you downstairs," I pinch his nose playfully.

"Really?" His eyes sparkle, a wide grin stretching across his face.

"Is it Tavir?" he asks. A pang of guilt hits me, wondering if I've taken away something Reyansh could have had.

"No," I shake my head, "Someone else." His shoulders slump slightly, brows furrowed, his lips curved in a fading frown of diminished excitement. Yet still, his eyes hold anticipation as he probes, "Who is it?"

I set him down, kissing his head, whispering almost like a secret agent on a mission, "Go and find out." He flashes me his cherished grin, dashing towards the door. "Don't run," I shout after him, but it's too late; he has already shut the door, leaving me alone in the morning mess.

I scratch my head, a feeling of something missing creeping over me. I roll my eyes, trying to remember what I'm forgetting, but it barely registers in my brain.

"Anyways," I murmur to myself. Sighing, I pick up the blanket, getting lost in tidying the room. Smoothing out the creases of the bedsheet as I run my palm along the corner to tuck them under the mattress. Just then, my eyes fall on my empty wrist. I bring my left wrist before me, the missing bracelet leaving my heart racing.

My eyes widen in horror, my heart unknowingly accelerating. I trudge towards the vanity table, my eyes frantically searching for the delicate woven threads of vibrant colors, each intricately intertwined with a bead adorning the middle, creating a mesmerizing pattern. A cherished thing.

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