𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞//𝐣𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

"You've been wasting my time
While you're taking what's mine"

It was finally over, the most exhausted day. We just came back from solved case and everyone were ready to get home and relaxed. I had to sign some papers, so I stayed in my office a little longer.

I heard knocking on my door, and then her silhouette stood there watching me with a smile.

"Hey, you're still here?" Emily asked me.

"Yeah, paper work."

"Right, Morgan is asking if you want to go on a dinner with the rest of the team. Reid found some new Chinese restaurant, apparently."

I smile. "I would love to, but I have to finish this."

She nodded and stepped closer to my desk.
"You are always working, like ten times more than we do."

"Well, it's my job, so I can't complain much"

She is silent for a little.
"Can I help you with anything?"

"No, it's okay; I got it. I'm going to finish this, and then I'm going to see Will, but thanks."

"Right, well, have a good night," she says.

"You too...you are going with them on a dinner?"

"Probably no... I have a date with someone tonight, actually."

I don't know why I felt what I felt when she said that. I can't describe it.
"Wow, who is the lucky guy?" I ask, trying to smile. She swallowed and looked at the ground.

"Actually, her name is Natalie; we were friends back in high school," she said, smiling slightly.

I opened my mouth, and I noticed she was waiting for my reaction. But I didn't know how I felt at that moment. It was confusing. Maybe I just didn't want to admit the jealousy I felt in my stomach. I smiled slightly.

"Great, have-um, have a good night," I say. I don't want her to leave. I want to go out with her, to drink some wine, to talk, and to spend time with her.

She locked her eyes with mine. I didn't want to look anywhere else. It's like time stops every time she looks at me.

"Thanks, you too. Say hello to Will from me," she says, and she leaves my office.

I totally forgot about my boyfriend now. Fiancé, actually. I sighed. I wasn't able to consecrate.
I took a deep breath.

It was now two weeks since we came back from the case; there was nothing special about it, but I was still thinking about one man who was killed. He had a wife and a son, but he also had a whole other life. He liked men. He never told that to anyone. Not even to his friends, to his family, or to his wife. No one knew him. He couldn't be himself in front of anyone of his loved ones. And his life was taken before he could admit that-to other people, but mainly to himself.

That was what scared me. Since I was a teenager, I have tried to hide my feelings for girls. People in my town weren't really accepting of these things. In high school, I dated popular boys I didn't even liked, so people wouldn't notice me looking at girls. And when I grew up, I was hoping these feelings would eventually go away. I wasn't ready to accept that this is the way I am. This is my life. I thought it could be fixed, but what did I expect? I was not some broken plate that could be glued together and be "normal" again.

This is who I was. And I couldn't change it. But what hurt me the most, was the fact that no one knew. There was no one I could trust enough with this, not even myself, to admit that.

I was thinking about the fact that, if I had died now, if something would have happened to me. No one would know the real me.

I sighed. I looked at the clock. It was late. I had two missed calls from Will. I left my office, and my steps went straight home.

I met Will a couple of months ago. He was a police officer. I adored him. He was funny; he made me forget about my problems.

But I don't know if it was really love, what I was feeling with him. I felt safe that was true, but every time I was with him, all I could think about was how it would feel with someone else. If you know what I mean,.

When I met Emily, I hated myself for wanting to be around her that much. She looked so confident in herself. We quickly became friends. She took me to the bar. We were drinking, laughing, and talking about life. It was great. I was amused at how easily she was flirting with men. Even women. At a bar or a coffee shop. Everywhere. She had a unique personality, and I loved spending my time with her.

When I got back home, my fiancé was already sleeping. I noticed he left me dinner on the table, with a small letter that said "I love you" and a little heart.

I smiled. He was a perfect man. For normal women. Not for me, because I wasn't normal. Normal women do not think about women while having sex with their finances. Worse, thinking about her co-worker.

I put the dinner in the fridge, and I take a hot shower. Soon as I finish, I lie beside him to our bed. He's sleeping so peacefully. I turned my back, so I wouldn't feel so guilty about this. But it doesn't help. I will always feel ashamed, no matter what I do.

A/n: Hey guys. After a while, I'm back with this new WLW fanfic about my favorite TV show with the most potential girlfriends that could've been just for them to turn completely straight in the show even though they have brutal tension between them. I hope you'll enjoy it, even if you don't know the show. Trust me, everything that's gay is great, so give it a chance and write me your opinion<3