𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞//𝐣𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓬

"My clothes still smell like you"

I was avoiding Emily the whole day we worked on our case. I don't even know why. It's just easier for me that way, even though I know it's wrong.

Even though I know she is my best friend, she doesn't deserve this. But I can't change the way I am, so I distance myself from everything. That's my coping mechanism, I guess.

We found two missing girls and safely brought them back home to their parents. Every day, with a good finished case, we have a good day. It's not most of them, but when it is, we enjoy it.

Back in an airplane. Spencer sits beside me. I'm reading a magazine. I feel his eyes on me.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a soft, caring voice.

"Nothing. I'm just tired," I said.

"When you needed to talk, I'm here," he said, smiling at me.

"Thank you, Spence," I say, looking at him. I know he cares.

Of course, he does. We know each other very well. Well, at least I know.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

When I get back home, my fiancé is sitting at the kitchen table. With my engagement ring in his hand. I didn't prepare any excuses, so I'm just going to face it now.

"Heyyy," I start, acting like I didn't notice anything.

"Why don't you have your ring?" He asked me. "

I shrug my shoulders.
"My finger swelled up, so I had to take it off."

He looked into my eyes.
Then he stood up.
"Really?"

"Yes? Really? What's your point with this?"

"I don't know. You are acting weird lately"

"Are you accusing me of something?"

"I didn't say that."

"So then? What?"

"JJ just, I'm just trying to have a talk with you"

"We are talking!"

"Okay... What's going on with you lately?"

"Nothing" He looks at the ground. Shaking his head. I have to say something.

"It's just a lot of work, and I'm stressed."

"That's all?"

"Yes, that's all. I just need some time."

"So you... don't have anyone?"

"Are you seriously accusing me of cheating now?"

"Just...you mentioned it... I don't know."

"This is bullshit." I take my bag and leave the apartment.

"Where are you going? It's late"

"I don't care. I don't want to see you tonight."

"Jennifer, common, stop acting this way."

"What way? Just leave me alone; I'm going to sleep somewhere else."

"Oh, you mean like at your new boyfriend's house?"

"I'm not cheating on you! And I can't marry someone who doesn't trust me, for god’s sake." I slam the door, and, full of rage, I leave the apartment.

It's a little cold outside. But I didn't know where to go. I didn't have many friends besides work because I was still working. And honestly, I didn't want to see anyone from work right now. But you have nothing to lose by trying.

Emily's apartment was the one closest to mine. I knocked on her door and waited.

After a while, she opened the door. She looked different. Her hair was a bit disheveled, and she looked out of breath.

"JJ, ?" she said, looking confused at me.
"Are you OK?" she added.
I swallowed. It was hot to see her like this. Relaxed, without a jacket or weapon.

"Yeah, everything is great, just... I had a fight with Will, nothing serious.

"Right, um," she starts, but then I hear a voice coming from her apartment.

"Are you with someone?" I ask, hopelessly. She nodded.

"Natalie..."
I bite my lip.

“Oh…so I… I'll go to the hotel or something.

"No, wait, you can stay." We both know that's not a good idea. I shake my head.

“No, that's fine, really...I'll see you at work tomorrow.

"Okay, be safe," he says. I smile at her and leave.

I have nowhere to go. So I head straight to the local bar. I ordered some drinks. And then more drinks.

After a while, a young man in his 30s, with black hair and really light blue eyes, sat down next to me. He startted flirting with me. And I flirted back... I don't even know why. I just had enough, and he was right here. He talked about his life, and we laughed.

Even when I was at bar, I was still a woman, and I was still an FBI agent. I held the glass tightly to my body and did not take my hand off it.
Because of my work, I'm not very trusting of people. Yes, sometimes I'm even too paranoid about things, but if you see what I have to see 24/7, trust me, you'll be too.

His name is Craig. He's really ambitious and hard-working. After a while, he started to get a little touchy. At first, when he touched my hand, I didn't think anything of it; I don't think I even realized it somehow. But then he started to touch my knee, and my thigh.

And suddenly, my mind got clear. I didn't feel comfortable or safe. And all I just wanted at that moment was to leave this bar and go home. I stood up and paid for my drinks.

"Where is the rush?" Craig asked me.

"I have to go... It's late, and I'll be working tomorrow. It was nice to meet you, though," I say.

I know what to do. Don't let him see that I'm scared of him. I slightly smiled. He grabs my hand.

"You didn't get me your number," he said. Now I really want to leave this situation. I take his phone and write  phone number there, not my real one, obviously. He let go of my arm and turned back to his drink.

I rush from the bar, and once I'm out, I breathe in fresh air. My anxiety gets calmed, and I start to slow down a little. I decided to come back home,I realized I overreacted to the whole situation with Will.

I'm almost there; just a couple more steps. I told myself. And then.
I feel a loud banging in my head, and my entire world gets black as I fall to the ground.