𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞//𝐣𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓰

"Why am i staying? You're why i'm staying."

When I wake up, dirty walls, chains, and my kidnapper are long gone.
My abdomen is wrapped in bandages, and tubes are connected to my veins.

I can only hear the beeping of the devices.
When the nurse comes after a while, she asks me if I need anything.
I will only answer her with the only thing I can think of.
"Emily"

After a moment of waiting, she stepped into the door with a huge smile on her face.

"How are you doing?" she asks, stepping closer.

"Tired," I say quietly. 

"I was worried about you." 
i nod.

"I know you were," I said, smiling slightly. 

She steps closer.
"I shouldn't have let you go. It's my fault that happened."

My heart breaks when she points the blame at herself. 
I shake my head.

"No, Emily, it's not your fault." 
I said it, and I meant it. She couldn’t know what would happen. 

No one can predict these things.
No one knows when it will be their last time to see the world, to feel the air, to apologize, and to thank people. To say you love someone. Show them your love. 
I get another chance at life. Better,happier life. I won't waste a second of it.

Emily takes a deep breath. 
"You look better than me, and I wasn't the one who was stabbed and tied up," she smiles a little. 

I smile at her.
"Yeah right" 

There is a pleasant silence between us.

Until she spoke again. 
"Will stop by; he brings you some clothes." 

She says. 
"Did he... say something more?" 

"That he wants to give you time and that I should take care of you." 
I'm not sure what she meant by that, but I'm glad she's here with me now. 

I nod. "I think I need some time away from him."

"Do you have a place to stay when you get out of the hospital?" 

She asks me. I think about it a little. I don't want to worry my parents about this after they are already probably worried about me being injured. 

"I'm afraid I have not."

"Then... perhaps you can stay with me for a couple of days, if you want." 

If it's not what I was hoping to hear right now, I would lie. 

"I don't want to bother you." 

"Oh, JJ, common, I want you to stay," she says with her ordering expression. 

"Okay," we say, smiling at each other. 

"Great, I will visit you perhaps tomorrow." 

"Sure, if you want, but... I need a rest." 

"Yeah, I completely understand." 
We stared at each other without saying a word. When it feels like too long, I break the silence. 

"I should get some sleep now." 

"Yes, totally," she says, and before she leaves the door, she gives me one last look. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

As the days passed, my health got better. My wound gets healed, and after a week, I get to get home. I was packing my stuff when I heard a knock on the door. I look up just to see Emily standing in there.

"Hey, do you need help?" she asks.

"No, thanks; I got it."

"We stop by my apartment so you can unpack, and then...the team wants to meet you up. We didn't have much time this week, so they want to make it up for you." I smile.

"Sure, that sounds cool," I say, and I pick up my bag to go.

"No way you are caring; I'll take it" she says, grabbing the bag. Our hands are slightly touching.

"You don't have to."

"But I want to, so let me," she says, and that immediately shuts me down.

When we get to her place, I unpack my bag. 

"Make yourself at home. I hope you're not allergic to cats," she says. 

"No, I love them," I smile as I stroke the black cat's hair.

I notice her staring at me. 
I get a little red, and I cough a little. 
"We should probably get ready." 

"Yeah absolutly" 

I get to the bathroom to change myself. I think about it; this is all a good idea. Be here,with her. But maybe that's all I need...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

When I came to the restaurant, they were all already there. My team. My family. 

And as we are all sitting there together, waiting and laughing, I realize how much this team means to me. 

These are the people that have my back in every place I step in, and I have there's.
When Emily gets on the toilet,all of them turn to me. 
"You know she was really scared about you?" Hotch starts. 
I nod
"I mean, we all were, but she mainly." 
"Really?" Did I seriously doubt her? 
"We are happy you are back. Take as much break as you need." 
I nod again and smile. 

When me and Em get back to her place, it's already pretty late. 

"So you want to sleep on a couch or?" She asked.

I raise my eyebrows. "The couch will do, thanks." 

She nods.
"Right... I'm not really tired, though. Do you want a glass of wine?"
 
"Maybe just a little." 

She pours us a glass of red wine, and we sit comfortably on the couch. 
"You know...Hotch said you were worried a lot about me." 

She looks at me. 
"Of course I was. You were here at my place for help, and I didn't give it to you, and then you went missing." 

I placed my hand on hers. 
"Emily, it's okay now. It was never your fault, okay? I mean it." 

She nods. Her eyes slowly dropped on our hands, which were still touching. But none of us pulled away. 

"I'm just glad you are safe," she says. 
As much as I was always admiring her and looking at her, This close to me, she seems even more beautiful. 
I like having this special time with her. 

But then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like, "How is Natalie?" 

Her smile drops a little, and she pulls her hand away from mine. 
As a profiler, this definitely means something. 

"I haven't talked to her much since that day. I should probably tell her why I banished her like that." 

"Yeah, and I should probably talk to Will."

Isn't it crazy? How are we both bringing up our relationships? And for what? To make each other jealous? Who knows? 

"What did you two fight for?" 
I look to the side. Not knowing where to start. 

"I just... I don't know if I want to marry him; I'm not even sure if I love him; it's just too much on me right now." 

"Take some time to think about things. I'm sure you two can talk this out." 

She says it and smiles. 
We both drink our wine, and then she walks to her bedroom. 

"Good night," she says. 

"Night," I say. But I know very well that I won't be able to sleep. 

The first day at the hospital was the worst. 

Mainly nights because I had a distraction. I thought about a lot of things. And I still saw his face when I closed my eyes. I still feel his hands on me and on my body. 

I know I should open up to someone about this, but I can't. At least not yet.