Matched (joshler) (COMPLETED)

Condoms

"They're all...the fucking...saaaaame."

"You just have high standards."

"Dude, I've been on here for a month and a half. Wanna fuck? Wanna hook up? Can you deep throat nine inches? Like, first of all...can you? I don't fucking think so."

"Just hook up with someone," Dallon laughs.

"I don't want a hook up. I want a relationship. Specifically with someone who doesn't mind my schedule revolving around two teenage daughters."

"You'll find someone. It doesn't happen overnight."

"Doesn't happen in a month and a half either."

"Where are the girls anyway?" Dallon questions, rolling his eyes.

"Dakota's at soccer, Dylan's got tutoring until 4:30."

"She tutors?"

"No, she's being tutored. Sucks at science."

"So do you."

"Why do you think I'm not the one helping her?" Tyler smirks, glancing at the man across the room.

"Jenna's good at science. Maybe she can help?"

"Could you ask her? It'd only be like two or three nights a week. I could pay her. Dylan hates staying late at school. Says only losers and troublemakers stay late."

"I take offense to that."

"So did I at first. But that's the price of having teenage girls. Get your feelings hurt and carry on with your day."

Dallon chuckles, "Wanna smoke?"

"Yeah. Dylan should be home in a few minutes."

The two men stand up and stretch before walking outside onto the front porch and sitting on the steps. With an ash bucket between them, they each light a cigarette.

It's getting colder as winter settles in. Leaves are changing colors and snow is right around the corner. Soccer season is in progress and homecoming attire are calling student names. Tyler and Dallon listen quietly to the high school marching band's practice down the road.

"What's the theme this year for the dance?" Dallon asks before blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"Dakota said it's Alice in Wonderland. She wants a red dress like the Queen of Hearts, Dylan wants a blue dress like Alice."

"Ooo dress shopping. How exciting!" Dallon whisper-shouts, playfully clapping.

Tyler rolls his eyes and takes a hit off his cancer stick, "Stereotypically speaking, from a gay guy's perspective...you think I'd be more excited about dress shopping."

Dallon let's out a laugh, "Deep deep down, I know you're excited, stomach full of butterflies."

Tyler lets out a sigh as he sees Dylan round the corner of their street. The noise of plastic wheels on concrete run through the air, getting louder by each second.

"Hey, dad! Hey, Dallon!" Dylan smiles as she stumbles into the yard, her skateboard having been caught on the edge of the grass.

"Be careful! Jesus. I'm only 32, don't give me a heart attack," Tyler exclaims.

"You got that covered yourself, big guy," Dylan shoots back, pointing to the lit cigarette between the man's fingers.

Tyler dabs out the butt, "How was school?"

"Sucked. As always. I'm hungry. Can Jamie stay the night on Friday?"

"No, it's your grandma's birthday. We're going out for dinner."

"Well she can come over afterwards. Grandma goes to bed at like the peak of dusk! We won't be out super late."

"Dylan."

"What? You know it's true," Dylan mumbles.

"We're going out for dinner and I'll think about letting her stay the night."

"Ugh, you and your thinking," Dylan sighs dramatically. "I'm getting food. Elton!"

Opening the door, a large black Great Dane trots up to the girl, jumping excitedly as she walks inside.

Tyler looks at Dallon who shrugs, "Don't look at me, she's your kid."

"How is it that the straight guy who always had a girlfriend never knocked anyone up? But yet the closeted, gay, basketball-playing sophomore get a girl pregnant during his first time? With twins, might I add."

Dallon lies his hand on Tyler's shoulder. Sighing he says, "CON-DOMS, my dear friend."

Tyler gives a confused look, "What the hell is that?"

Dallon chuckles and glances at the door as it swings open.

Tyler looks up at Dylan as she squirts mustard into her mouth before taking a bite of a hamburger patty from her hand, "Dad, we're out of buns."

"And this is why you have that," Dallon says.

The man looks back at his friend slowly. "Condoms. Got it."

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