A race to your heart (Zarry AU)

20.- Toxic 🏁

Harry's POV

After the long night that I had yesterday, I couldn't open my eyes. It was already past midnight when Zayn drove me home. Everything was like a blur like it was part of a long dream but it wasn't. I couldn't shake the words that he let out.

"I don't know what I want, Harry. I don't want to...be apart from you, but I also don't want to rush into something we're not ready for."

That much changed in a month? His determination to be with me changed in a month? Was it her? Was it me? He doesn't know what he wants anymore so I changed my mind into just wanting to be with him. I know that I said to him that I was taking this break to focus on my career but... I tried and miserably failed. Being with him makes me better and, being with me makes him worse. Am I that toxic?

I shook my head trying to get rid of those thoughts when I felt more light coming into the bedroom and I felt Zayn sit on the bed and stretch. He was looking around for his underwear and jeans to forsaken me for the day.

"Can you stay a little longer?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper, the vulnerability in my tone surprising even me.

"Do you want me to?" Zayn's dark eyes held mine, searching for an answer beyond my words.

"Yes... I'm missing you already," I admitted, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. I was still enjoying the afterglow of our time together, but the looming reality was hard to ignore.

Zayn's lips curled into a soft smile, and he leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to my forehead.

"I can't deny you anything if you're looking at me with those beautiful crystal green eyes," he murmured, his breath warm against my skin. "Just have to make a quick call," he added, stepping out of the room.

As the door closed behind him, a pang of guilt hit me, a familiar feeling that had become an unwelcome companion. Zayn had someone waiting for him at home—his girlfriend, a fact that gnawed at me like a persistent itch. Whether she was PR or not, she was still a part of his life, and I was tired of being the secret, hidden in the shadows of their public facade.

Through the thin walls, I could overhear Zayn's hushed voice, crafting an excuse to cancel their plans for the day. My stomach churned with unease. It wasn't just about sharing him—it was about the dishonesty, the constant push and pull of emotions that came with loving someone who wasn't fully mine. We needed to talk about it, but the thought of arguing again and pushing a sore subject for him after a perfect night made my heart sink.

Zayn returned to the room, his expression relaxed as he crawled back into bed, wrapping his arms around me. "Alright. What do you want to do today?" he asked, his voice low and soothing.

"I don't know," I replied, my voice barely audible.

"What if... I do you, over and over?" Zayn whispered, his lips grazing my neck and sending a shiver down my spine.

I hesitated, the warmth of his body against mine conflicting with the storm brewing in my mind. I couldn't help myself when I turned to face him, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Zayn... are you going to leave her?"

The question hung in the air between us, heavy with implications.

"What?" Zayn's eyes widened, taken aback by my sudden shift.

"Are you going to leave her?" I repeated, my voice firmer this time, needing to hear his answer.

"Harry..." Zayn's voice trailed off, and he stood up, walking to the window. The morning light cast a soft glow around him, highlighting the tension in his posture.