A race to your heart (Zarry AU)

26.- Statement 🏁

Zayn's POV

I haven't spoken to him in a long time.

The cool night air did little to calm the storm raging inside me. I had left the hotel to clear my head, to find some clarity in the chaos that had become my life. But the further I walked, the more lost I felt. I walked the streets aimlessly, the bustling city around me fading into a blur as my thoughts consumed me. My mind raced, replaying the last argument I had with Harry over and over. I couldn't shake the image of his face—how hurt he looked, the raw pain in his eyes when he told me he couldn't do this anymore.

After I left his hotel that dreadful afternoon I flew to New York and stayed with Nicky until the Mexico GP. That weekend we shared the podium but he barely looked at me. It was a fucking deja-vu. Nicky was with me and had to go right back to the States right after.

This separation was getting the best of me. And here I am debating if it's worth it to keep wandering around or go back to the hotel and going to beg him to take me back. We're staying in the same hotel, same floor just a couple of doors away, and having him that close was eating me up. So, on impulse, I walked back to the hotel and somehow gathered the courage to go to see him. I didn't have anything to lose.

"Zayn," Harry said as he opened the door.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"About?" He asked back, looking around.

"Us," I said without hesitation.

"Zayn...no, I..." he said.

"Please," I begged.

"Come in," Harry said and fully opened the door to let me in. I took a glance at the room without knowing what was I looking for. It was almost midnight and he was... alone.

I sat down on the big bed. And I couldn't get out of my head images of us having wild sex in a bed like this and always causing trouble in hotel rooms.

"So? What else do you want to discuss?" He said seriously taking me out of my reverie.

"I - I miss you," I said.

The truth was, I couldn't bear the thought of losing Harry. The very idea of him walking out of my life, of him being with someone else, sent a wave of panic through me that was impossible to ignore. I had tried to convince myself that I could balance everything—that I could keep my family happy, keep Nicky happy, and still be without Harry. But it was all falling apart, crumbling under the weight of my indecision.

"Zayn, we've been through this before. I... can't..." Harry said.

"I want to be with you. I'm... willing to do whatever it takes to be with you again. I.... love you," I said. I was shaking and my voice sounded more cracked than I wanted.

My heart ached, torn between the love I felt for Harry and the fear of disappointing my family. But as much as I tried to weigh my options, to think of a way to make everyone happy, the answer became increasingly clear.

I couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't keep hurting Harry, couldn't keep lying to Nicky, and pretending that everything was okay. The truth was, I wasn't okay. I was wretched, caught in a web of my own making, and the only way out was to make a choice.

And deep down, I already knew what that choice was.

The last couple of weeks I've been thinking about my future and...Harry. I couldn't be without him. I'm willing to leave everything I know for him.

He didn't move or say a word. He just watched me and turned around to get a bottle of water from the dresser. He opened it and handed it to me.

Then he grabbed one for himself, sat down on a chair that was next to it, and drank a big gulp.