Confessions of a Demonically Possessed Librarian

Part 10 - Plots and Puppets

This cretin simply will not drop this television issue. At this point I might as well agree to shut him up. Even the way he reacts by squealing "Deal!" and chittering off annoys me. With him gone though I can get down to the real business of the day.

There's something I've been wanting to do for the longest time. A guilty pleasure that can't be denied. It calls to me like a siren's song and tied to the mast as I have been the past few days, I am now free to dash myself upon the rocks of indulgence.

Rifling through the various packages stored under my main desk, I find the illicit offering stashed away innocuously. Duty compels me to open the library as its custodian. However, at this time of day in the week, I should have at least a few hours of alone time. The trusty ringing will alert me should anyone enter outside of that pesky phantasm Peter.

Settling into the grand armchair in my study, I rip open the hidden treasure. My copy of Fifth Tail finally arrived! Yes! Yes! Yes! Who knew the tale of people training and romancing nine-tailed foxes could be so exhilarating? Some might accuse the books of cultural appropriation, but with a read this dishy, who cares?!

I become absorbed for who knows how long. As far as I'm aware, no one came in to use the facilities. The only disturbance comes when that ineffable irritant calls up to me something about the Sheriff being here to collect one of his bounties. Which sounds preposterous since the man has never come anywhere near this place before.

Coming down in a relative state of repose and unreadiness admittedly, what happens next is such a violation, I do not wish to repeat it! Needless to say, my imposed novel reading day was ruined. Put in the position to be unable to leave the confines of the library, that pig absconded with my precious Gracie without any sort of comeuppance.

This will not stand!

It's in this confused and vulnerable state that the precocious poltergeist tells me his plan to stick it to the slimy Sheriff.

"So, okay, I saw a bunch of freaky shit on my mission in town today."

"I'm sure you did." I say, rolling my eyes.

In the short time I've known Peter, I have learned he has a tendency to lose his cool over the slightest issue. Such the opposite of his sister, Daisy. Ah, beloved Daisy, so elegant and poised. How I long to see her again. To feel the touch of her lips on mine. To lay with her in an intimate setting.

"No seriously! I mean the strawberry pies were pretty normal in hindsight, but the kids man! They're all little felt freaks!"

My face drops. I can't believe this news. It's devastating.

"...It's the last day of strawberry season and I missed it being cooped up in here?!" I scream.

Those delicious dripping red pies. I love them so much. How did I forget such an auspicious event? The toll this place takes on me sometimes. Grotesque.

"I think the children of the town being weird fucking muppets is a little more pressing man."

"Pfft, that's a rude thing to say, don't call them that, they're harmless. Literally, they have no tensile strength to cause any damage." I scoff at his general ignorance. "Admittedly I didn't see it when my family first moved here, only once I was plagued by my existing occupation. And yes, it came as a minor shock at the time. But if you think about it, they really are a lot safer that way."

"Safer?!"

As if on cue, the bell to the library jangles and one of the cute cushiony tikes wanders in, as they are wanting to do after their schooling. I've always found it rather charming how they bob along on their soft soles. If they ever did become a threat, they would be deadly I suppose. Silent mini assassins who'd fit into any tight space and are nigh indestructible.