Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 12

It was 2:04 am. The house was quiet. Emily sat on the bed looking at Mark who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Mark looked so gentle when he slept. She stared at the wall opposite the bed. She couldn't sleep tonight just like the other nights, that was the reality she lived with nowadays. She looked back at her sleeping husband and began to remember the good days when he hadn't shown his abusive side to her. Yes, it was an arranged marriage on her part but she did love, Mark. It seemed stupid but she couldn't help it.

Why? Why didn't he love her back just like she loved him? Why did he change? Why weren't they just like the normal couples she knew and heard of while growing up? Husband and wife happy with kids. She raked her hands through her hair and looked at the other end of the room.

Maybe she was just a hopeless romantic, that was the reason she still had feelings for him. Why did she still have feelings for this man? No, this monster. Why was she reluctant to leave? Was she scared or just in love? A lot of questions passed through her mind. She just wanted to be treated like a woman, like a normal woman. She wanted him to treat her right, to love her and cherish her, that was all she needed from him. Unfortunately, she was not going to get them from him. Not in this world, maybe in the next one.

Mark rolled over to her and grabbed her thighs, she looked down at her husband in deep sleep. He does love to grab her at night. She smiled to herself if only he meant it.

He also didn't care about her sexually, he just wanted to satisfy himself alone. He never bothered about her satisfaction. Their sex was not mutual, she missed what it felt like when sex was mutual, in the early stages of their relationship. Yes, before he began to show his true self. Sometimes she wished he had just continued pretending. That made her know that Mark knew what it was like to satisfy a woman sexually, he just didn't care about her. She wasn't important enough to him. She hated it when he climbed her like she was a prostitute and when he was done with his business, he would roll over and begin to talk about how sweet she was. Good sex was as rare as a shooting star to her. He just didn't care. Emily pinched herself.

Was she thinking this dirty? Was it wrong to want her husband to make love to her till she screamed in satisfaction? Was it okay? Or was it dirty? She knew she couldn't talk to him about this, it'll just make him call her derogatory names again. But she was an adult, she had marital needs that her husband denied her. He denied her of everything, love, affection, and respect. sex and peace. She looked up at the ceiling and relaxed her head on the headrest. This was just a fairytale, maybe in the next life.

But for now, she had made up her mind, She might have to leave this house before he kills her even if it was the last thing she did.

Thinking of everything, she noticed she was crying. She was going to miss him if she left, could she even survive on her own? The church and Mark were the only shelters she had and leaving Mark meant leaving the church. She put her hands over her mouth to prevent herself from crying out loud.

If only he wasn't a terrible person. Maybe just maybe, she would have been a happy wife.

$&&@&$#

Emily reached for the pancake mix on the shelf as she went grocery shopping. Examining the mix, she read the ingredients on the packet before dropping it into her cart and picking up another one. Suddenly, she felt a presence and looked up to see a man standing close to her. Panic surged through her. When would men stop approaching her? If Mark saw him near her, she'd be in trouble by the time she got home.

"Hi," the stranger said to her. Emily hesitated to reply, not wanting to be rude. She scanned the area before reluctantly looking at him. "Hello," she replied, trying to keep her gaze on the carton she was holding.