La Reina

chapter 4

NSFW/GORE

24/03/05

-Ugh..
Hayes groaned in pain. His head was spinning around. He remember he puked atleast 5 times at night. He opened his sore eyes to see what was going on. A really bad smell was lingering around the room, Hayes felt like puking again. He slowly sat up to look around the room. A lot of empty bottles were thrown around in every corner of the room.
-What the fuck...
Hayes said really quietly holding his head. He looked under the covers covering him and found himself almost naked.
"Who the hell did I fuck??"
Hayes looked to his side and felt himself fall into agony. His hands started shaking, his chest sunk and he first a really big urge to throw up. The black hair boy gently sleeping next to him. Hayes quietly stood up. His head still spinning around, his legs and hands shaking in disbelief. An urge to cry filled his heart. He looked through the door besides him. It was the bathroom. His eyes shot even wider. His vision became blurry from the sight. He quickly covered his mouth. The bathroom mirror and the toilet was covered in blood. The whole toilet seat was covered in blood, the toilet itself was filled with blood. Hayes ran his tongue over his teeth an felt a really irony taste on his tongue. He wasn't sure about the bloody mirror but he was sure that was his blood. His mind was rushing, his thoughts were unclear.
"I swear to God if he wakes up right now..."
He thought. He scanned the room for his clothes and picked them up with his shaky fingers. He didn't bother putting them on, he immedeatly rushed to the front door. He quietly tried to open the door but was unsuccessful. The door wouldn't open. He scanned the livingroom for the keys to open it and eventually found it. He opened the door quickly and ran out.

He was running down to the bottom floor to the bathroom. While he was running which tears forming in his eyes. When he reached the restroom he entered a stall and locked himself up. He sat on top of the toilet and looked at the floor while holding his head. Suddenly all his tears rushed out of his eyes, dropping on the floor. Hayes covered his face and started moaning in agony in a bathroom stall. He suddenly felt a sharp reflex to stand up and kneel in front of the toilet. He acted up on these reflexes and doing so his service let out a huge load of blood right in the toilet. Hayes started crying louder while his hands started shaking again.
He kept knelt down there for a long while until he finally stood up and dressed up. He stepped out of the stall, his mouth covered in blood, his eyes puffy and glossy. He sighed and washed his face.
"I should probably get going."

Hayes went back to the school by bus. Interestingly or not, the motel they stayed at was really far away from the school, it was atleast a couple hours of ride back. Throughout the ride he tried not the think about what happened last night, it's not like he could remember anything but he didn't want to accidentally remember something. He just sat there for hours with a blank expression staring down. He mind was blank aswell, he had nothing to think about and nothing he wanted to think about. Nothing interested him. Nothing made him excited or sad.

After a race of blank thoughts, Hayes arrived to a place closest to his school. He hopped out the bus and started making his way back. It wasn't exactly a long walk. He actually enjoyed the cold breeze of fall. It was actually the one thing that day that made him happy. He pulled out his phone to check the time. He was so busy running away he wasn't sure what was the time.
"10:40. The teachers are so gonna kill me"
He thought. The bus ride was about 1.5 hours long, so he woke up at about 8, when school was supposed to start. The consequences were numberless, but Hayes wasn't pressed. Or sad, nor anxious about it. He felt weightless, without and with all the world's problems on his shoulders. Anywho, Hayes arrived to his school. He took a gentle sigh and walked in. It was already recess, so the school was stacked with people. Hayes only hoped non of his relatives found him. He walked through the hallways all the way to the dormitory hallway. Luckily no one was there. He entered his dorm to find Kaydens door wide open (he usually has it closed). He closed the door behind him and went to take a peek in his dorm. Kayden was in there looking through his stuff, seemed like he was looking for something. When he heard the door open he flinched and immedeatly looked towards the doors way.
-Oh. You're back. Where were you?
-Out.
-Oh... Someone was looking for you. A girl with black hair.
-Okay.
Hayes replied dryly while going in his room. Kayden felt Hayes distress and stood up to check up on him.
-Are you okay? You look um... Messed up.
-Im fine.
He said laying down on his bed facing towards the wall.
-Youve missed 3 classes already. You know that right...
-Yeah.
-Are you coming to any today?
-No.
-Okay.
Kayden shrugged.
-Hey. If anyone asks you haven't seen me today.
Kayden raised a brow but brushed it off.
-Okay.
Kayden replied while leaving the dorm.
Hayes spent the day sinking in his room, not eating, not talking, not even getting up. He just laid there all day with the covers over him. He didn't have a lot of thoughts popping up in his head, but he didn't even want to think about anything. Literally, all he wanted to do is lay in one place and not interact with society. He was absolutely dissociating himself from society. For the following month, this cycle was ongoing. The only reason he actually stood up was if he wanted to eat something or if he wanted to do coke. He had an addiction to doing coke when he felt hopeless. He ate once a day, and snorted coke once a day. Those were all his meals for a day. Throught the weeks his eyes grew huge circles under them. Hayes hadn't look at himself for a great while now, so he didn't even know his eyes looked so messed up. His hair grew longer, his nails did too and he hasn't showered in weeks. He was way too ignorant to care about his hygene at the moment. Every once in a while someone came over, it was usually Isaac. Thought sometimes Willow,  Grace and Aurora came for a visit too. They knew about how he didn't feel like going to school, although no one knew the actually reason. They came over to talk to Hayes for a bit, socialize with him. They tried to bring some life and motivation to his life but nothing worked. He was genuinely hopeless. They were only there for a couple 10 minutes, so it wouldn't have been all that effective either. Kayden went in there once of twice too but he didn't feel like involving himself into this. Sometimes he left Hayes door open and talked to him from outside. But nothing worked on him. He wouldn't ineterect with anyone, anyhow, and he knew this. He knew what his peers wanted but he refused to interact with them. He refused to engage with people. One night Hayes had enough. He couldnt be the person he used to be, and that thought eventually made him go insane. One night he took out his packet of coke. He poured it out on his desk and created a line with a card. He snorted it up with a rolled up paper. When he did he let out a huge sigh and strenched his neck back. He closed his eyes and started breathing heavily. He let out another sigh and slowly reached inside a bag of his. He took out his razorblade and took the blade out. He took a breath in and gently placed the sharp blade on his wrist. He breathed out and immedeatly pulled the blade on his skin, pushing the blade in deeper and deeper. His heart rate rose. He became shaky and started breathing a lot faster. He pulled the bloody blade away and saw the mess he made. A scar about 15 centimeter long and 4 cm deep sitting on his wrist. The blood started rushing out of the scar and started rushing down his forearms, dropping on floor. Hayes watched his blood drop on the floor one by one as it started bleeding out more. Hayes reached for the scar and pulled it outward. He suddenly hissed as the scar stretched out and more blood started rushing out. Hayes reached for the blade again and placed it on his upper arms. He did 3 strokes, they were about 4 centimeter deep yet again but they were as long. Blood started streaming down his upper arm, his left arm was covered in blood at this point. Hayes started shedding tears as the cocain his it, his emotions were so messed up and he was so confused she couldn't help but cry in confusion. Hayes did 2 last strokes on his right forearm before his laid on his back and let himself bleed out. The floor was covered in smeared blood. Hayes felt the end coming. He closed his out and waited for light to appear before him.