Charity Night (english)

9

I nervously tap my foot on the carpet and knead my damp hands. I don't know when the last time I was scared like that, but right now I just feel like running away.

Zachery Hyde can really scare you when he's so businesslike and authoritarian, but for a brief moment I feel like I can see past his façade and wonder if that's hurt in his eyes that I could see.

"Zac...!" I can't get any further because he immediately interrupts me sharply. "Mr. Hyde... I'm your superior, or have you already forgotten that?" the coldness with which he says it is frightening and I shudder. He still hasn't completely turned around and I wonder what he even brought me here for if all he's going to do is put me down.

Maybe this is some kind of sadistic game of his and he can enjoy belittling and humiliating me.

I now suspect that beads of sweat are already on my forehead because I find the situation more than unpleasant.

"Mr. Hyde... I'm really sorry! I didn't sleep particularly well last night." I try to get out of the situation, but I did the math without my boss. "I don't really care how your night was... I expect punctuality and willingness to work, especially in their position and if they are not able to do these things, then they have no business with us!"

I have to swallow hard, but the lump in my throat just won't go away and I feel tears slowly welling up. There's no way I can expose myself to this... He just can't see me crying! So I bite the inside of my cheek and take a few deep breaths, hoping it will hold back the tears.

Since Zachery has turned back to the window front, at least now I have the chance that he won't be able to see me like that.

"It will never happen again, I promise you that. I'm honestly sorry." I try to sound conciliatory again and he interrupts me again in an icy, cutting voice. "That's right... If that happens again you're fired!"

And when he turns around and looks at me so coldly, I can't hold back anymore. Tears blur my vision and, completely in a rush, I turn around and hastily rush out of his door straight towards the women's restroom.

There I lock myself in one of the cabins and hope that the ground will open up and I can simply sink into it.

Is it fair that I feel treated unfairly when I treated him just as unfairly yesterday? One would think that he can separate professional and private life or is that asking too much. However, I also suspected that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to continue working here because this matter will always stand between us.

A soft knock on the door to my cabin makes me jump and I let out a loud sob. "Charlotte, are you okay?" the gentle voice in front of Chloe, a colleague, comes through to me and I answer hesitantly. "Yes, I think so!"

I slowly turn the key and open the door with my face crying and still shaking slightly. "Is everything really okay? You don't look like it at all...!" She rubs soothing circles on my back with her small hand and hands me a tissue. I give her a wry smile of thanks and wipe away the runaway eye make-up. " Mr. Hyde really put me down for being late. He even threatened to fire me." "Yeah, he's in a really bad mood today. When he first came, he yelled at an intern so much that he hasn't come out of the copy room since."

The guilty conscience comes over me because I know full well that it is my fault that he behaves this way. Now apparently the whole department has to suffer because I'm such a coward and just can't get involved with a man anymore. Well, better said, I don't want to!

Of course, I realize that this isn't fair at all, so I square my shoulders, take some facial tissues out of the box and start wiping away my smeared mascara and making myself look somewhat presentable. Then I smile gratefully at Chloe and step out the door into the hallway to check on the interns.

When I sit back at my desk half an hour later, my concentration is virtually non-existent and I keep catching myself thinking about Zac and his behavior today.

On the one hand, it's completely understandable that he's hurt and angry with me, but it's just not okay for him to take it out on the rest of the office, since they probably have nothing to do with the whole mess.

I've just turned in my chair towards the floor-to-ceiling windows when someone clears their throat behind me, making me jump. Caught, I turn around and look directly into my boss's blue eyes, which glare icily at me.

"I'm not paying you to dream..." he blurts at me, but his gaze softens a little as he takes a closer look at me. "What's wrong? Have you been crying?" I quickly try to turn around again, but he stops me by putting his hand on my arm and coming around the table towards me.

Tears come to my eyes again and before I can stop him he has already wiped the glittering liquid from my cheek with his thumb. At exactly that moment he seems to realize what he is actually doing here and his gaze solidifies again as if behind a mask as he takes a step back.

My shoulders sag noticeably and I just shake my head. I'm aware that I hurt him, but the fact that he has to put on such an act because of it is a little exaggerated, isn't it?

This isn't easy for me either and even though I clearly don't want to admit it to myself, the fact is that he has grown on me after such a short time. How could he not? He is intelligent, sexy, successful, beautiful and he has a wonderful sense of humor.

He has everything we women look for in a man and yet I just can't get involved with him. The pain I had to experience in the past is still too deep.

Zac left my office without another word and I'm still not sure whether to be relieved or sad. To be honest, it's so contradictory how I feel every time he's around and I have no idea if I can trust myself in such situations.

My hormones bother me the most because I'm just so attracted to him, but I also know that I can't give in to them if I want to protect my heart.