Charity Night (english)

16

A good four hours have now passed and Zachery is still not back. Slowly but surely I'm starting to worry and am already thinking about whether I should confess to my parents who he is and why he can't be found now.

Unfortunately, they would then interfere too much in my non-existent love life and my mom would probably start planning our wedding straight away and knit little socks for her future grandchildren.

And to be honest, I don't have the slightest desire to deal with it.

So that I don't completely lose my nerve, I decide that it's time to look for Zac and search the cliffs...

Who knows... Many accidents have happened here in which tourists slipped and were seriously injured.

I grab my trench coat and green rubber boots and leave the property in the direction Zac disappeared from my sight earlier.

After a few hundred meters the visibility becomes a little more difficult because there are a few wafts of fog hanging over the green fields, but it is not yet too dense that I have to turn back.

This man is really killing me... I've been walking for almost half an hour and I still haven't spotted him. I'm really starting to worry that something has happened to him and that he might have fallen down a slope, for example.

I call his name again and again and look over the edge of the rocks into the raging waters, hoping that if he had fallen, he would be sitting there unharmed somewhere down there.

At some point, just before I'm about to give up and turn back, I see him leaning against a rock and he seems to be either asleep or totally lost in thought.

When I watch him like that, I feel sorry for always pushing him away and my heart clenches painfully.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before letting the air flow out through my inflated cheeks and taking long strides towards Zac.

"Zachery, I've been looking for you everywhere." I say tentatively as I approach him, but he doesn't react to me at all, just keeps staring straight ahead. So I step closer to him and place my hand gently on his shoulder .

He flinches slightly at the touch, but otherwise doesn't move an inch. So I slowly slide into the grass next to him and look in the same direction as him.

At some point I hear him ask in a whisper, "Have you been in bed with my brother too?"

I can't believe that he would trust me to do that and at first I'm so perplexed and hurt that it takes me a long time to react. Zachery probably sees this as an invitation to question me further and we get louder and louder from word to word.

"Did you kiss him? Have you compared us? DID YOU LET HIM FUCK YOU JUST AS ME? WAS HE GOOD?"

And then he adds quietly... "Was it at least worth it?"

Silent tears leave my eyes and I can't believe he's throwing this at me.

Without thinking twice, I jump up and rush away from him without looking back.

Primarily because I don't want him to see how much his words affect me, but also because the hatred in his voice is destroying me inside. His tough questions keep echoing in my head and I'm sure I've never been as humiliated as I was just now.

How could he even think that I would do something like that. That would be bottom drawer and unforgivable.

Meanwhile, I'm kneeling in the middle of the meadow on the way back to my parents' house and I've put my hands in front of my face and I'm just crying silently to myself.

What was I thinking when I agreed to meet Lucas?

It should have been clear to me that sooner or later this would lead to problems.

I'm sitting trembling and shivering in these clouds of mist, which more than clearly reflect my current state, when I feel a large hand on the back of my head and I suddenly turn around to face the tall, dark person looming up behind me.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you like that..." I hear the voice, but I just shake my head...

"You should be more sorry for insinuating that I'm a bitch who goes to bed with anyone." I reply in a shaky voice and shake off one hand.

"Charlotte, please... I didn't mean it like that!" he sighs, but I can hear the slightly annoyed undertone and I just don't understand what his problem is. "Listen, of course it's clear to me that you're not like that "But how would you react if I suddenly went out with your sister?" he makes another, rather pathetic attempt to explain himself.

My nervous limits are now way overexcited and I'm letting him feel that now too.

"Now YOU listen to me... I don't owe you anything, is that clear? YOU are the one who keeps trying to interpret more into what we had!" I spit at him the words that come to mind first, even though I know full well that I'm crossing a line and maybe can no longer turn back.

Horrified by my own words and the harshness I put into them, I put my hand over my mouth and open my eyes.

And when I turn to Zac I can see that he is at least as surprised by my outburst as I am.

"Do you really think that I'm JUST reading into something, or is it more like you're just afraid to open your eyes and realize that there's really something there. Just remember... don't take too much time figuring out what you want, because at some point I might not be there anymore. Then I won't wait for you anymore."

With the last sentence he gives me a sad but determined look and then simply walks past me back to my parents' property.

...And leaves me alone with my thoughts and tears.