Our beautiful babies are 2 weeks old today. These 2 weeks have been incredible, so magical. My heart hurt home much I love them.
But half of me feels hurt. When I held the twins for the first time a lot of sadness came over me. Our little baby came in my head, baby angel the baby i miscarried. My heart hurts for many reason
But I'm feel more hurt that I never really grieved over the baby but my heart also hurt because a part of me felt like I forgot about the miscarriage happening but that was never the case. That time was horrible! Finding out I was pregnant was a scare,me and Jadon wasn't even dating
We were just friends who slept together. But I told Jadon all of my feelings and shockingly he sort of turned around and mentioned the same thing
But baby Angel will away be our first baby. I'm reminded of the baby every time I look at the baby scan which I have on a picture frame
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Jadon is so amazing, I could actually cry how amazing he is. Me on the other half I'm still suffering a little bit after my c section. The pain is unreal.
However I think today will be the biggest reality check for me, my first full experience looking after the twins. Jadon has an away game today and I have to admit I really nervous about him leaving
This morning me and Jadon both woke up at 5am the twins feeding time. Jadon has ayla on his side and I have Tate on my side. I placed Tate in my bed and a changed his diaper and Jadon did the same for ayla.
I started feeding Tate first. Out of him and ayla tate is definitely not a big eater however ayla is. After feeding Tate I winded him before laying him down so I could start feeding ayla
"You sure you don't want me to get someone to come over?" Jadon says to me
"Babe at some point I'm going to have to learn to look after both of them" I say to him
"I know baby but your still not fully recovered" he says
"I know babe, but I just think I want to be on my own tonight" I say to him
He smiled and me and leaned towards me and kissed me. I then finished feeding ayla and I winded her before laying her next to her brother. "You wanna have a bath bae before I need to go?" Jadon asked me
"Yes please" I say getting out of the bed and going into the bathroom to running myself a bath.
When my bath was finished I got in water and I had an everything bath as it was a Friday. I then got out of the bath and wrapped my hair up in a towel and put my robe on. "Babe will you help me change the sheets?" I asked him
"Of course" he says
We placed the twins in the side cribs and Jadon helped me do the sheets then he went and had a shower while I got dressed, did my hair and skin care
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