Forgive or die trying (on hiatus)

Thoughts hurt

Every part of his body ached.

God, Kel wasn't kidding when he told him the stories of how vicious Aubrey's gang was.

He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, as he sighed. He wished he could go back in time and never have left but unfortunately he was stuck in the present.

He was a coward.

His mom had bandaged his wounds a while ago, and now he was in 'bed jail' as Kel called it. His mom banned him from leaving the room for any reason other than to use the bathroom, so Kel and Sunny decided to keep him company upstairs.

He turned to his brother, watching the smile on his face while he played some video game about space with Sunny, both discussing how much they loved the designs of the pirates.

He laughed softly to himself at that. Pirates? In space? Who would ever even come up with that one?

He remembered the two boys adoring a comic series that he guessed the current game they were playing was based off, god the amount of times he and Mari had to go to the comic store and-

Wait.

He hadn't even gone to see Mari yet.

He frowned, why didn't he go to see her before going to Othermart? He promised himself he'd go visit, so why didn't he?

He could faintly hear the sounds of Kel cheering over a win as his thoughts overtook him. Was he really so much of a coward that even after all these years he still couldn't face her? She would be so disappointed in him, god he couldn't even be her boyfriend right!

Maybe if he was a better boyfriend, she wouldn't have hung herself that day.

He should've known the signs, should've done something to help her deal with the stress of having to basically parent Sunny while keeping up with her grades and doing piano on top of it all. He couldn't even do that.

He felt a hand on his shoulder snap him back to reality, Sunny standing over him with a worried look on his face,

"Hero.. are you ok? You're crying" his voice was soft and light, he must've really worried him if he was speaking. He knew how little the boy liked to talk. He gently brought a hand to his cheeks, feeling a wet coating on them and quickly wiping them away.

"Y-yeah! I'm good, don't worry! J-just.. really missed you guys is all!" He laughed awkwardly, averting his gaze to the floor as Sunny looked completely unconvinced and simply raised his eyebrow as if to say 'really? You think I'm gonna believe that?' He sighed softly,

"F-fine, I just wish I could go visit Mari. I-it's.. it's my fault she isn't here anymore afterall." He couldn't help the tears flowing out of his eyes that he was now conscious of. Everything that happened was his own fault, he's the reason everyone was against each other and the reason that Aubrey ended up how she is now.

He didn't seem to notice the slight glance away that Sunny had, and neither did Kel, as Hero fell to the ground sobbing and Kel ran over. He held his older brother in his arms, gently rubbing his back and whispering words of comfort to him, seeming more like the older of the two in that moment.

After a while, Hero finally stopped crying and wiped away the last remaining tears. Sunny stood awkwardly, not sure how to properly help and feeling guilt rush through him.

The pain that Hero felt.

The torment everyone went through.

It was all his fault.

He had that day replaying in his mind from the moment it happened.

He could've saved her.

He could've walked away.

But no. Instead he killed her.

He killed the one person that held the group together.

And all because he didn't want to practice for the recital.

He didn't even realize he started crying until he felt the brother's arms wrap around him. But he didn't feel comforted by it. It only served to further his guilt, knowing they'd never even want to see him again if they knew the truth.

He was a horrible person. He tore apart everyone and made them all think his older sister, who had done nothing but be the mother that his biological one refused to be, had killed herself. Hero left because of him. Aubrey became a monster because of him. Basil refuses to leave his house because of him. And Kel was forced to grow up because of him.

He felt someone watching him, turning his head to see. For a split second, he swore he saw something outside the window. A girl maybe? He looked again, and she was gone. He just assumed he hallucinated it, the sleepless nights caused by his grief finally catching up to him.

Hero looked to him,

"Sunny, are you ok? You look a bit pa-", before Hero could finish speaking, the black haired boy collapsed to the ground. Both brothers hurried to his side, Hero confirming he was still breathing and most likely passed out.

"Oh god. I've been telling him he needs to sleep but he never does. Do you think he'll be ok?", Kel's voice shook with worry but seemed to calm and Hero nodded,

"He'll definitely need rest, but he should be ok after a bit of sleep. Here, we can lay him on my bed since yours is.. well it's your bed." Kel let out a soft 'hey!' at that but nonetheless helped carry Sunny up the stairs and to their room. The brothers frowned at how easy it was to lift the boy up, exchanging a look of agreement that they'd work to fix that. They decided to let Sunny sleep while the two of them cooked dinner for their parents.

The girl intently watched Sunny as he slept.