Is It Really Worth It? - A Heartstopper Story

Talking

Author's note: TW: swearing, verbal fighting, Enjoy!

Charlie

I really don't know how I'm going to talk to Nick or how I'm going to tell him about the pregnancy, should I tell him? I didn't expect any of this to happen today when I woke up. I hear the front door slam and Nick's footsteps walk past our room, he seems really pissed, I mean I really don't blame him, today has been so shit. I know I really should talk to him, I'm just so hurt and angry at both him and I. God this is such a mess, for fucks sake I'm just a mess. The knock at the door awakes me from my thoughts.

He cracks the door only so we can talk without shouting through the door. " Hey, can I come in? I know you probably don't want to talk but I brought you water." He says in a surprisingly soft tone. "Okay.." Is all I managed to get out. He puts the glass of water on my nightstand and heads to the closet without saying anything. I know we should talk but does he wanna talk? Do I? He walks out with a spare blanket and his pjs. He then walks over the bed to grab his pillow. I assume he's going to sleep on the couch but even when we do get into little arguments, we still sleep in our bed together. Was he really that upset? I know this isn't a little argument but still, it just hurts. This whole day has hurt. He begins walking to the door with his belongings.

" Where are you going?" I ask as he opens the door, I didn't realize how scratchy my voice was until I asked that. " I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight, let you have the bedroom to yourself. Please drink that water, love." God even when we're mad he still calls me the nicknames, are we still mad? I couldn't take it anymore and started sobbing. " P-please don't. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I cry out, stupid pregnancy symptoms. With two strides he's over by me, pulling me into a hug " Hey, it's okay. I'm just worried and I thought you needed space, everythings okay." " I-I do, did. I'm just so sorry about today." I cry into his chest. " What happened today? Why'd you call so many times?" He blurts out. " I uh I'm not ready to talk about that yet." I say, my voice just above a whisper. I know he won't be to happy with my answer but I just can't randomly tell him that I'm pregnant and getting an abortion after a day like this. I still have no clue if I'm even going to tell him. Is that wrong? Probably. "Okay, you wanna go to bed?" I look up and all I can do is nod. I had already done my night routine earlier knowing I wasn't getting out of bed for the rest of the night but Nick still had to do his so once he released the hug, he put his things away and went to get ready. I went on my phone only to see a message from Ben asking if we are still good for tomorrow.

Nick

After I get finish my night routine, I crawl into bed next to Charlie who is already passed out. I'm trying to fall asleep but I just can't, tonight is to different. No cuddles, no 'love you', no kiss goodnight. Today has been so shit. I know Charlie doesn't have to tell me what happened but for fucks sake I'm his boyfriend. I feel like I deserve to know what happened to him. I check the time 12:47 am great. I can't do this anymore, as much as I love sleeping in our bed together, I can't tonight. No hug, no kiss, no 'love you' and most importantly no cuddles especially after a day like this, there is no reassurance. I carefully and slowly get up making sure not to wake Charlie up, I grab my phone, charger, pillow, and a spare blanket and quietly head to the living room. I turn the T.V on, turn the volume very low, and put on a marvel movie. I'm aware this is petty and stupid but I just can't tonight. Something tells me I'm going to be sleep here a lot this week and most definitely tomorrow night if not my mum's. Finally what feels like an hour later I drift off to sleep.

I'm awaken from my sleep when I hear something slam from what I think is the kitchen. Fuck he's probably pissed. I get up and head to the kitchen where I assume Charlie is " Hey baby, you sl-" " Don't ' Hey baby' me. For fucks sake just stop treating me like a baby." He interrupts me. " What are you talking about? For the last time I'm not treating you like a fucking baby." He has every right to be pissed, I mean I did leave in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch but I also have a right to be pissed. " Yes, yes the fuck you are." " God, what the hell did I do to piss you off this early in the fucking morning?! What, you having some late emo teenage faze" Crap, that wasn't what I want to come out. " Oh! So you have the balls to ask that but not to tell me that you were going to sleep on the couch?! Wow..." He rolls his eyes and tries to walk out of the kitchen. " No, you are not leaving this kitchen till we sort this out. I didn't want to tell you last night cause I knew this was going to happen!" " Then why the fuck did you do in the first place, knowing this was going to happen?! You know what? Since you clearly love the couch more than sleeping with me, than you can be there tonight as well. Get the fuck out of my way, I'm going to be late." I feel myself getting teary eyed as I look out the kitchen window in disbelief that happened. I hear stomping from our room than the front door slamming only a couple seconds later.

Fuck. Where the fuck did this all come from. God if only I'd just stayed in bed last night then maybe none of this would happen. I decide to go back to bed for a little while to try and forget about this for a little while but as I walk into our room, more quilt washes over me and I head back to the couch. My previous thought from this morning being correct.

Charlie

Finally it's lunch time. I don't know how I made it through with not crying. I head to my car and go to the spot Ben and I had agreed on. It's only 5 minutes from my work so I get there in no time. As soon as I walk in, I see Ben instantly. God he really hasn't changed. He waves at me and I take a seat across from him. "Hi" his voice is still the same. "Hi". " It's been so long, how are you?" He asks very smiley. " I uh, I've been pretty good, finally finished all my schooling about four months ago, just moved into a new house with Nick about two months ago. How have you been?" " Wow, good for you! I've been doing okay. Just got out of a three year relationship so I'm trying to figure out what life is like on my own again." He chuckles a tiny bit trying to hide his pain but I can see it in his eyes. " Wow, I am so sorry. That's rough." I give him a smile full of empathy. "I'm sorry about why we're meeting up." He returns the smile to me. I completely forgot that's why we're meeting up. Suddenly the waiter comes up and we both order.

"So um, why do you think he's cheating?" " Well, I uh, I saw him walk into a jewelry shop with a guy and he hugged him before and after going in. I did snatch a photo if you want to see it? " " I, I don't think I uh, can look at it." Suddenly tears come rushing down my face. Ben looks at me and wipes some off my face. " I'll vemo you for the drinks but I have to get home. Fuck, I don't even think I can stay home." " You're welcome to stay at my place? That's what I did when I found out my partner cheated on me. " " Are you sure?" " Yes, I'll send you the address. Meet you there?" I smile and head to my car. 

A/N: Please read! Thank you for reading! Apologies on how late this is posted! Also, I'm thinking about writing a Heartstopper AU where Nick is part of the royal family and him and Charlie fall in love. Would ya'll read it? I'd still post to this story on my normal schedule but let me know!

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