Love Letter

Silence

April 15th

Puerto Pollensa, Mallorca

"Dear Mum and Dad,

It's me.  Alison.  You remember me, don't you?  Not that either of us would really know it, eh? Sorry.  This wasn't meant to be bitter. Not now. After everything that's happened.  So I suppose it's pointless telling you all about my life now. I'm sure you've seen it.

I know the last time we saw each other, Dad, things were, to say the least, unpleasant.  I swore that day I would never speak to either of you again.  I was wrong.

Today I am speaking and you, you are listening.  For once, I am going to say everything that I SHOULD have said that day, Dad, and more.  Tom is here as I write, and no, before you get all shouty and say he's no right and he's this and that and encouraging me to cut you off, be quiet.

Yes, that's right.  Be. Quiet.

Tom is the reason I'm writing to you.  HE is the one that's made me see that silence isn't always golden and that sometimes, just sometimes, picking an old scab can clean a wound.  Nice analogy, eh?  Nothing if not creative that man!

Anyway, consider yourselves picked.  My life, since you decided to leave it, has been nothing if not challenging and to be fair - something I don't feel inclined to do but Tom's making me - part of the strength to deal with that, must come from you two. So, for that, and that alone, thanks.

Something else I want to thank you for?  The opportunity to meet the love of my life, my soulmate, my husband, and ultimately the father of my children.

Yes, my CHILDREN plural.  You see, we're going to have another baby.  In the autumn.  And that's where this letter comes in.  It's time to let you decide.  Sorry, I can't do this.... I'll let Tom take over....

Hello.  Tom here. As you can probably see from the marks on the page, Ali is now crying.  Yes, she's crying over you. Again. Something I never thought I could countenance, but for just for once, I do. 

It was me who encouraged her to write - if I'd asked her to call you, she would have refused point blank, and I understand why.  Now, in this letter, she - we - can set the record straight and give you a chance.  To come back and be part of her life, your grandchildren's lives. If you want to.

We are not going to force you. Neither are we going to make it difficult for you, but there are things you should know and understand.  

Our lives are private.  VERY private.  We take it seriously, and we expect you to as well.  We know you would never purposely endanger the protection we seek for ourselves and the kids, but you have to realise that we are who we are. 

We will NOT let our children become media targets - or worse.  Contact will have to be with certain provisos and under certain conditions.  Conditions we live under daily, so don't get any notions that we are discriminating against you.

Also,  Alison still feels VERY VERY raw towards you.  You, quite frankly, abandoned her to die. Yes, it really IS that brutal. 

And that's where the other thing comes in that you should know. 

.It's back. 

And this time? All we can do is pray.  

You see, we discovered it after we discovered that no. 2 Baby was on the way.  So now, she's making the most selfless decision I could ever imagine.  I don't think I could be so brave.  No treatment until after the baby comes."

Tom put down the pen and rubbed his face, trying to control his own building emotions.  They'd talked long into the night when they found out Ali was pregnant. At first, they'd discussed options - all the options - but soon realised that the joy another baby would bring would see her - and Tom - through any dark days ahead. She was a fighter. She just wanted to pick her battles.

"You ok love?" She asked, squeezing his hand and smiling a thin, watery smile. He nodded, picking up the pen again.  If she could be strong, then so could he. 

He resumed....

"So you see, just because you're being allowed back (Alison's words, not mine) doesn't mean a happy ever after ending.  And this is the thing, if you step out of line, even once?  You're gone.  You upset her or our baby?  You're gone.  You so much as look at her - or me - the wrong way?  You're gone.

Think of it as being out of jail on licence.  Your actions, your choice.

All that being said, if you agree, we can discuss meeting up.  Sooner rather than later.  At the moment, we are in Mallorca as I'm filming.  Now, if you want, I personally will pay for you to visit us.  This is a neutral spot, with no memories or associations for anyone.  We'll be here for another six weeks, so even if you only want to come for a couple of days, it can be arranged.

I'm giving you a number to call below.  Don't get carried away. It's not mine or Ali's. But it is someone we trust and who will do their utmost far all of us - you included - to make this work. Might I suggest, in the name of peace, you use it?

Yours, for Ali and our babies, 

Tom.

Ali watched as he sealed the envelope.  Turning to her, he smiled gently and wiped her cheek with his thumb. She leant into the touch, closing her eyes, squeezing the last of the tears away.

"Thank you, darling.  Thank you so very much." she whispered, and he kissed her gently.

"It wasn't a pleasure, something like this never is, but for you, my love?  I'd walk on hot coals if it gave you peace." he got up and walked to the door, leaving her sitting on the couch in the morning sunshine.  "All we can do is wait.  Wait and hope."  he left, and Ali stood, walking to the window and looking out over the sparkling waters of the Mediterranean.  It was going to be another hot day. She could smell the heat building.

Hope?  Honestly?  What EXACTLY was she hoping for?