𝙇𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝘼𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 | 𝙎𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙪 𝙂𝙤𝙟𝙤 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝟔 | 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭

𝙂𝙊𝙅𝙊𝙎 𝙋𝙊𝙑
Ever since that day, the day I shot Y/N's father I haven't been the same. The guilt is insane. I can see just by looking at her how much she has been struggling. What hurts even more is the fact, I too, started to like my childhood best friend.
I started to like her too, but then I did this. I look like a total asshole. She acted totally different with me too, like she barely knew me anymore. I guess I understand though, but still.

Why did this need to happen? Why couldn't me and her just live life normally? Why was this mafia thing even real? I hate being a part of a mafia. I love the power, but not the shit I need to do.

I like it when people treat me like a king, but I don't enjoy having people be afraid of me. I mean, at least I am hot, I guess? All I could do is be upset the past few weeks. As for my dad, that's a whole different story.

Obviously, Y/N and her mom got all of Mr. L/N's money, but my dad got payed hella lots from other families, it was crazy. My dad has been swimming in money, almost smiling money. It scared me.

Moving on from my father, a few days ago I decided to visit my, now ex-best friend, Y/N. Let's just say, it didn't go to well. She admitted up to liking me, but she yelled at me a ton. It made me start to cry.

Yes, I cried Infront of her. She has seen me cry once or twice. Once when my dog died, to be fair I was 10, and once when my first girlfriend cheated on me. Long story short, my dad killed her. Anyways, Y/N yelled at me to get out of her house and hasn't talked to me since.

I tried calling her, texting her, I tried everything. I then remembered what my dad told me, I had to stop talking to her. I didn't want to stop talking to her, but I knew it was the only way. I probably would forget about her or just stop worrying about her in a few years or so.

Maybe, if I stop talking to her, life will be better? All these questions and thoughts, they stressed me out. I hate being stressed out. Whenever I am stressed out, I shoot at the balloons in my basement, so that's what I did.

Shooting at the balloons in my basement makes me feel like I am shooting my stress. It's like my stress are people and I am killing them.
☆・・・★・・・・・★・・・☆☆・・・★・・・・・★・・・☆

As I floated in the bathtub I heard the sounds of yelling outside in the kitchen. Lately, my mom has been very angry at the L/N family since they were mad at us. All we could hear is the two best friends yelling at each other because of me and my best friend.

It was like twin vs twin. My mom and Mrs. L/N are best friends just like me and Y/N. They've known each other the same amount of time me and Y/N have known each other, so all you could do is think about how she must've reacted to all this nonsense.

Everything has felt like nonsense, just a blur. I didn't think I would feel this hurt by this, but I am. Y/N's dad was a great person too, and to think I was the one who killed him.

Mr. L/N treated me like a son, he treated me good. My dad doesn't treat me like a son, he just treats me like a source. The one thing I've ever been jealous of Y/N about is her dad. Her dad loved her and so did her mom, not me. My parents only cared about business and money and killing. I guess it makes sense due to the fact we are the most successful out of the four.

After I had killed Y/N's dad and Y/N looked up at me it was almost as if she was asking me something. I couldn't make out what she was trying to say though. He just stared into my eyes, her e/c eyes just staring into my soul. I don't know what she was trying to do to me.
It was as if she was asking me,

"𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬? 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧."