Silent Shadows: Book Two - The River of Secrets

XXXI

Content Warning: Cannibalism. And it's written to be extremely disturbing, yup this chapter is the reason I had to put cannibalism in the tags.

Ever since their near destruction, the Marthanoirí had been treating Shimmerspark as a hero who'd always be remembered. From what they'd known of her, she'd be put on a pedestal and pictured as perfect forevermore. Therefore, the cats of the future generations would know her for the small part of her reflected in her heroic acts, not for her history and identity. 

Silentdawn simply laid alone in the cavern lost in wonder and despair, turning over those thoughts she'd had upon finding Shimmerspark's remains again and again. Did I have feelings for you, and never notice them until it was too late?

I wanted you. I needed you, you came when everyone else was gone. I loved you, and that's why I hated you so much. Confusion about her own feelings came to play along with her misery. I wanted you, because there wasn't really anyone else , and so I hurt you. In fact, she'd tried to end Shimmerspark's life, feeling like it was the end after she'd become an empty shell.

What were you to me? This all felt like some kind of false memory to mask her guilt. No, that was right. She didn't feel grief over that she-cat's death. It was guilt. And, yet among it, a sense of loneliness. The realization that Stormray was now the final living cat who cared about her struck her soul like a bullet. She'd been closer to them than she'd ever been to anyone else, yet were they just some replacement for what she never could've had? Sunpaw...

Maybe that was why she missed Shimmerspark so much. She felt like she carried Sunpaw's last remnants with her, like Sunpaw wasn't really fully gone after all. And yet, now she was. 

She stood up, beginning to walk towards another spot. It felt just like last time.

You're dead, so you're body's going to rot away until there's nothing left. Let me taste you, before there's no trace of you in the world.

They'd held a ceremony where they'd buried Shimmerspark's remains. Silentdawn nearly smiled for the first time in forever at the convenience. She knew exactly where to find her.

And when she did, she dug. It doesn't matter what I do right now. I should be dead. If things went how they should've, I'd be the one in this grave.  

She dug faster. You took my fate away, you averted my destiny.

Silentdawn simply couldn't let the urge go. As soon as the gruesome site was fully unveiled, she began to indulge in the taste. While her body simply went on devouring the symbol of the things she'd craved for and lost, her mind was a wreck. Why am I doing this? God, this is disgusting. Why am I still doing this vile thing? I should stop.

And yet she didn't, she simply let herself do it. 

Silentdawn finally let the worries go, and indulged in her last taste of love. It was unfortunate love had to taste like blood and rotting flesh, but she'd been starving for it. Her tail swished as the sudden sound of footsteps caused her to stop. She panicked at the thought that some random member must've walked in on her disgusting feast, only to turn and notice Stormray standing behind her.

They stared blankly at the brutal site in shock. She awkwardly tried to step in front of the bloody scene she'd made, only to realize that her face and white undercoat was splattered in scarlet. She stopped, not saying anything. The she-cat simply stared at them in shame. 

Yet, Stormray seemed indifferent. At a quick peek, they quickly seemed to realize what they were looking at, what she'd done. "What made you feel like doing it?" they asked her, coldly.