Rules | Bbangsaz

Rules 25

Minji's Point Of View

If this is just a dream, can somebody please wake me up? I feel like this is not true, I feel like this is just a bad nightmare. Why does this shit need to happen so fast? There's no warning, it just happens painfully.

"Minji...."

"Just let her."

"Bu-"

"We have nothing to do with it, Seungmin, We can't ease her pain."

It hurts so damn bad, I feel like this is more painful than being stabbed, this is more painful than something heavy falling on you, this is more painful than jumping off the building, this is so damn painful. There's no explanation for this pain. The scar is too deep and I am so down too, I don't know how to rise again.

Many days had passed when I last saw her, how many days is that exactly? I don't know. I don't want to know.

People say December is a pure joy month, but why can't I feel it? Why is it so painful for me? There's so much angst that I can't handle, I am in a phase where I just want to end all of this, but ending all of this will not ease my pain, this will not make Hanni come back to me.

Why was she tired?

Why does she say she loves me then didn't have courage to fight for me? Why was she making my hopes up when there's really nothing in return?

What did I do wrong to deserve this pain?

What's wrong with me? Am I not enough for her?

I look at our picture on my phone, this photo was taken by Dani. We look really happy in this photo, this is the exact day before our break up. Can I go back to that time? And fix whatever my mistake is. I want her here.... By my side.

"I love you so much Hanni.”

—-----

"Are you happy now Minji? your life is turning really miserable?"

I don't give a damn about Ryujin's question and continue to drink my beer. This is my happiness now, to drown myself in alcohol, fun right?

"Minji, have you seen yourself in the mirror? You look horrible." Yuna added.

"Why are y'all? why don't you go to your friend and bombard her with all of your questions." I said with full irritation.

I can feel Danielle, Ryujin and Yuna sat beside me, so now we are all sitting on the ground. I tried not to look at them because of my appearance? damn, I think Hanni didn't regret leaving me.

"Don't say that Kim Minji, you are both our friends, and of course as your friends we don't want to see you like that either." I gave Danielle a quick glance before looking back at my beer.

"This is so fucked up." I said before drinking again.

"The truth is we don't even know why Hanni decided like that, we are not here to protect her or to speak her side, we don't want to pick sides. We are here because we know that there's something wrong, we didn't expect that this would happen in your relationship."

"Dani was right Minji, we don't know what's bothering her, maybe she has this really serious problem that she doesn't know how to release." Yuna added.

Ryujin sighs. "We know that you love Hanni, and even though you two broke up we can still feel that there's nothing to change with your feelings. We can feel that Hanni still loves you too, she still cares for you, as long as you can please fix yourself before it turns to full misery."