Rules | Bbangsaz

Rules 29

Hanni's Point Of View

"And what are you planning to do now?"

I looked at Ryujin and buried my face on a pillow again. All things were alright until Jay entered our lives. That dumbass is so annoying, and what annoyed me the most is that he really has a point on what he said last time.

Why does love need to be like this? It is so deceiving, it will make you an idiot and dumb. I know my mistake is that I only used my heart not my mind but if you are so in love you will forget to use your brain, wait how can I even use them at the same time? Is it even possible?

"Have you talked to Jay?"

I nod my head even if it is still buried on my comfy pillow, about a second I get up and look at the trio sitting on my bed.

"No we haven't, I mean yes we did talk but we really haven't." What am I saying?

"What?" They looked confused, who's not gonna be?

Why am I explaining so messy? "I mean we talked but I just scolded him, he didn't have a chance to explain his reason."

"As if you will still listen to his sickening reason." Yuna said sarcastically, she has a point.

Seriously, I don't really know if I want to talk to Jay since I am so pissed, But every time I remember his smile.... his sad smile I felt pity, and then I will realized that one of my feelings led me to a fucking disaster for believing him. Fooled me just once but he did it twice.

"What will I do?" I asked in a verge of tears.

"What do you want to happen?"

What do I want to happen? Besides, I want to make everything better. Nothing else.

"Just think of what you want to do or to happen, then when you finally decide, do something about it. After all, that's your choice, you hold your heart and mind so even if we advise you what you're gonna do, if it wasn't your choice then it will just end up in the trash." Danielle advice with a smile.

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. What do I want to do? What do I want to do first? While my eyes are still closed, all I am seeing is Minji. I want to fix all our mess. I want to do it with her. It seems like I need to face her, but I think I need to talk to Jay first so when I talk to Minji all things are gonna be fine. Gonna be fine really?

I hope so.

*********

When I entered our room I already saw Minji sitting on her chair, since she was sitting in the back row.

I was about to walk towards my seat when she smiled genuinely. "Hey, Good afternoon."

OMG! I don't know what to do, I don't know how to speak, I feel like I defeated a junior highschool get noticed by her crush this is the first time we will talk again after many weeks, and my heart beats really fast, shit I feel like my heart won if there's a marathon going inside my body.

She's still staring while smiling, act normal Hanni Geez Hanni just say hi to her you looked like a pole standing there c'mon just say hi!

I was about to open my mouth when suddenly someone hit Minji's head with a notebook.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Let's go! You're so annoying. Just make sure that you will give me my chocolate or else....." Minjeong our president said.

"Or else what Minjeong?"

"Or else we will split direction."

"What?"

"Don't what what me Kim, If you don't want me to put this whole thing inside your mouth." She said and showed Minji the notebook.

"Minjeong, chill out, your blood pressure!" Minji said while laughing.

"Here! I bought your chocolates." She hands Minjeong a bag full of chocolates.

I looked away and proceeded walking towards my chair, I looked back to check them, they were now busy talking and laughing to each other.

She's fine now, she finally moved on. She's happy with her life now, it seems like there's someone who's making her happy now. Not so long ago I'm just writing notes for her and giving that to our president so when she attended class again she still had notes, but now? She's already happy with her. They are getting closer.

At least she's happy, that's enough for me.

I lowered my head to see that my notes were wet. They were teardrops. Who am I fooling? This is not right, but what can I do? In the end I will still lose.

Our professor continues to lecture but there's nothing entering my mind, this is damn disappointing, I can't focus. I am here at university to study not to act like this. I am being finicky.

I look back to see if Jay is there, but no! He didn't attend again, how can I talk to him if he isn't here? There's nothing right to what's happening today, this day? Maybe a curse.

Where are you?

I texted Jay after class, he immediately replied, good for him.

Why?

I need to talk to you.

Where are you?

Classroom

Alright, I'll be there.

I placed my phone on the table and stared at my hand, after finding out the truth nothing happy really happened, I'm still broken, wreck and fucked up every single day.

"Game." Jay entered the room with a sly smirk on his face, he sat at the front seat and turned the chair around to face me.

"Tell me how you hate me."

"I didn't call you for that, I just want to know the reason why you did that?"

"Because I want to."

"Be serious, what's the reason?"

He leaned against his chair and looked away. The cool Jay earlier is gone. "What's the difference if you don't know the reason and when you know the reason?"

"I just want to know the truth, I don't want to be fooled by lies again, I'm tired of being dumb, Jay. Dumb because I keep trusting and believing with lies. You fooled me twice already, please don't make it thrice."

He smiled, the genuine one, The smile he gave me a few years ago.

"Uhm can you please not know about it?"

"Jay!"

"Let's tell all my lies, don't include the fact that I really love you, I love you so much Hanni and I don't want you to end up with a person like me."

What? I don't understand, if he doesn't want me to end up with a person like him then why'd he snatch me from Minji?

"You know, I got a little bit of hope that we still have a chance for each other, cause I can see that you're kinda concerned for me..... But I can see that your love for her is more prominent."

I don't know what to say, I talk to him to lighten all our mistakes but pushing that topic might hurt him, might deepen the scar that he's enduring, I know he broke me, he messed up mine and Minji's relationship but still I don't want to hurt him.

"I wish you and Minji happiness, you deserve to be happy Han. I'll miss you and I love you." He kissed my forehead before walking out of the room.