Rules | Bbangsaz

Rules 24

"You are not going to school? You're not attending since the last day."  Hyunjin said softly, I didn't mind answering them, I was just looking at my phone quietly while waiting for Hanni to reply.

I opened my message.

Hanni, Please talk to me.

Hanni I can't handle the pain, please come back.

Han, what's the reason? Just tell me and I will stop. I'm going to be crazy here Hanni.

Hanni I'm begging you, please answer me.

I closed my phone and threw my phone somewhere, I slid beside my bed and cried again. I don't care if my friends see me like this, I don't care anymore.

"This freakin hurts..." I said while tears continue to fall from my eyes.

"Minji...." I heard what Seungmin said.

“Just talk to each other if your both minds are cool." I heard Jungwon speak this time.

"Talk!? What for? To tell me that she's freaking tired?! That we are done?! I already lost her! I already lost Hanni." I tried to stop crying but it's hard especially when you are enduring the pain. Is she still my girl?

"You'll be better, It will all be better." Seungmin said. I hope Min, I'm really hoping for that.

"Not now, but in time." Haerin finally spoke after leaving my room since they have classes.

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We are all now here at Rod's obviously drinking beers, but I am the only one who's drinking. I almost drank at least five bottles but still there's no effect on me, I can still feel the pain, I want it to stop.

I continued to drink but there's still no effect, Goddamn! Please just for tonight stop the fucking pain please I can't seriously handle this, this shit will make me crazy.

"Minji, that's enough."Haerin tried to stop me but Seungmin stopped her.

"Let her, we all experienced that, even you."

"Am I a jerk?"

They look at eachother, and you can see that they are confused. "Can y'all still see the old Minji? Can y'all still see the player Minji? Can y'all still see the super jerk Minji? Can y'all still see the careless Minji? Can y'all still see her in Minji now?" I asked, swigging the bottle.

They shook their heads saying no, I can't help but to smirk. "Is that so? Then why'd she still leave?" I asked and drank another bottle of beer.

"We still don't know Hanni's reason, She loves you." A chuckle left my mouth. Fuck reasons.

"I already know, she's done with me, She doesn't want our relationship anymore. She's tired."

They all went silent again, did I do something wrong in my whole life to feel this motherfucking pain? Is this a fucking karma for the girls that I played before? Is this because I broke some of their hearts too? Fuck karma! It is really a bitch, Its revenge triple the pain. I was drowning myself in alcohol again when suddenly someone entered the bar.

"Hi." Oh it is Dani, She walks beside Haerin staring and frowning at me.

"Minji? What happened to you, God! Fix yourself." Yeah, I surely look like shit right now.

I just smirk at her and continue to drink, but the world stops when I see Hanni standing beside Ryujin, her eyes are puffy red like mine. Was she crying about what happened too? She's in pain too? I texted her everyday, I want to talk to her, I even pleaded with her to talk to me but why can't I utter a word right now? Why can't I move right now? Where's my courage?

Minutes passed and still none of us spoke, but the gang were chatting about their stupidity, about their day and here I am, can't help but to look at her, her head lowered. But the sadness on her face is very visible. Damn it hurts seeing her like that.

The bar was so loud but they became silent when I finally uttered one word.

"Why?" They all stared at me, but I don't care anymore, I need her answer.

"Why?" I asked again, she's not looking at me, guilty of what she did.

"Hanni, why?"

"Minji, Please."

"No Hanni, answer me, why?" She lowered her head once again and looked up at me meeting my swollen eyes

She sighs before giving our friends a glance.

"Talk to me outside."

She gets out first, and I just follow her even if I am so dizzy because of the alcohol I drank.

When I got near her she immediately scolded me. "Minji don't make yourself miserable, You are not attending class then I will see you here drinking beer? please, fix yourself!"

"Who do you think made me miserable first Hanni?" She didn't speak nor move so I asked her a question again.

"You know that I love you Hanni so damn much. You are the only girl I want but why do we need to get ourselves into this situation? Why'd you need to let go?"

"I..I just have to Minji, I'm tired."

"Fuck that reason Hanni! If you are tired then you shouldn't stop. You just need a small space, but what you did right now is the complete opposite. You stop and leave me here still hoping for our relationship to be okay.”

I am a strong person but I can't help but to cry again, yes I am crying again. This is just normal for a broken person right? I'm in pain. But the pain doubled when I saw Hanni crying too. I know she hurts me, I know she broke me but man, I don't want to see her cry. I can't stand seeing her cry.

My body tensed up when she hugged me and buried her face on my chest. Can we be like this forever? Without problems? Without any shit? And just loving each other? Is that possible?

"Minji, I still love you, but we need to end everything." You already ended everything.

She let go of me after saying those words, but I'm a stubborn shit. So I run to hug her even though her back is facing me.

"I don't understand this Han, none of this I understand, Maybe for you we are done, but for me we aren't, I am still yours. I promised you that remember? and I will never break that promise Han. Never, even if you push me away, even if you tell me that we are done, I will still come back to you everytime.”

She pulled from my hug and finally walked... away completely from me. She is my greatest love yet my greatest heartbreak.

:)