Rules | Bbangsaz

Rules 26

Hanni's Point Of View

Hanni is that true? What Jay told me?

Are you at your house? I will stop by just talk to me, please.

Hanni please talk to me

Please..

I miss you, I miss you so much. I love you.

I tightened my grip to my phone when I saw Minji's messages.

A tear escaped from my eyes, I miss her. I miss her so so much and seeing her miserable kills me, I know she's hurting, she's hurting so bad but I can't do anything about it.

I feel like everything I do is wrong, I don't know where to place myself, but I think this is the right thing to do.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I felt Jay put his hand on my shoulder. I didn't answer his question, I just stayed in silence and do exactly nothing.

"Ahh.. Han you want to go dinner date tonight?"

"Ah.... ahm There's so many things that I need to do for school."

"What? Han, we are classmates. Last time I check we don't have any projects or what?"

I shook my head. "It's a special project, I need to pass it tomorrow or next next day."

"Oh. I see."

Jay continued to tell stories but here I am staring at my phone, I want to reply badly to Minji's messages, I really do. But I think answering her or talking to her can't help her move on. This will just gonna give her hopes that we still have a chance and I don't want that to happen, I don't want to make her hopes up on impossible things. I will not show any emotions towards her for her easy process to move on.. I will do that even if it means hurting myself. I think I will get used to the pain I once felt until it will completely vanish like how shakespear said: feel the pain until it hurts no more.

I will just endure the pain, until it gets numb. I want to be numb now by the way.

"Han, are you listening?" I got back to my senses when I felt Jay tapping my shoulder.

"A..ahm w-"

"You are spacing out.. Again." What's new anyways? Spacing out is now my personal hobby. It's happening more often

"Is that because of those projects? I can help you to do that, you know?"

I shook my head still looking down. "No, I can do it myself. Don't worry about me, worry about yourself."

I get stiff when he suddenly hug me. "T.. thank y.. you Hanni." He mumbled.

I let him hug me, there's no harm for this. I got a little bit surprised when he mumbled another three words.

"I love you." I just tap his back not knowing what to say, cause yeah I don't love him, I love Minji. He is not Minji so how can I say I love you too if I didn't mean it?

******

"Ma'am, here's the project." I submit the project I've done last night.

"Oh, why did you pass me this? Where is she?" I got nervous for seconds, wait what will I reason this time?

"Ahm.. She went out to buy something, she just inform me to pass this ma'am." The professor nod and utter an.

"Okay, Thank you miss Pham."

After that I went outside of her office and on my surprise, I saw our new dean or h- uhmm damn, forget it. She's walking through the hallway with her chin up, for a respect I immediately greet her.