To Who I Am

There's These Thoughts

You ever stay awake at night wondering if the world dreams with you?
Or maybe trapped behind your eyes is a soul spinning a film real in your dark hours of rest.
The film pictures sprinting after each other in a sequence of unrealistic events--
That could only ever play out in the mind of its creator.
Because a dream can't be categorized as non-fiction or fiction. A dream is something else entirely.
You ever stay awake at night wondering if the stars only blink rapidly to keep up with their neighbors?
Trying so hard to stay upright when a supernova lays ahead of them on their timeline of a diminishing and yet positively radiant life.
Sputtering, sipping up gas, staying afloat in the swirling ocean of black universe that can only be described as unfathomable.
You ever wonder during days that slug by like a broken train car that maybe God betrayed you with the bad days so you could appreciate the good ones?
And do you ever contemplate that the reason people won't leave you alone not even when you huddle in a corner of a chair that has always been occupied by your belittled self--is because without them you might die even more inside?
The ones who destroy you can still save you...
Take a bullet in the thigh for you--splintering open an artery with the robust cut of metal shards.
Shards that saw through any sign of life it can latch onto and instantly obliterate it.
People are what we desire more than any kind of affection.
Just a person.
A someone.
Because a someone replaces the no one you might have otherwise faced off against.
It's a battle to be lonely.
An insanity.
Do you ever think maybe we only exist to be one planet in an entire assistance of galaxies?
I do.
I think the universe could collapse at any moment, right on our twirling life line of an axis.
One moment to discard a gargantuan zoo,
Where we are only a featured exhibit.
Do you ever realize we could be crunched like an ant between two over sized fingers?
Rubbed against the bare skins of death?
We are one tiny in one million plethoras.
And does it ever cross your mind that we are being chased by gravity?
Your spine struck with deep cords by forceful and unrelenting hands meant to keep us stationary so we don't float away from ourselves.
Maybe gravity is the sleeve of our planet, wrapping tight to prevent a massive round sphere from taking on the universe by itself.
Do you ever think how creations are created? How paintings aren't just made from an assortment of colors but ones that actually came from a real person at a real time? That is what is lost behind the strokes--the idea of the person in that flimsy stretch of white canvas.
So now I have thought
I have seen
And questioned a wonder
or two.
Yes, there is a lot to realize,
buy so much more to contemplate.
If only we all take a moment to notice every question that tucks itself between the curves and cracks of a world still new to beginning.

-s.l