Leave The City (Book 8 of Adopted by the Josephs)

55. Samantha

"So, Samantha," Dr. Angela said to me as I sat down in her office. "How have the past couple of days been? I saw you on Tuesday, so, yesterday and today. Did you go to school?"

I looked at Dr. Angela and smiled.

"I actually went both days. Tuesday, you know I stayed home. I just... I just couldn't face the idea of going to school right after having all those memories rush back to me. But I went yesterday and I went today, and based on how I'm feeling now, probably tomorrow."

"That's good news. You're feeling well?"

"Mostly," I said. "Physically, well, I still get tired pretty easily. I napped a lot on Tuesday between doing schoolwork and stuff. But otherwise, yeah."

"Good to hear. So, what's up? What's on your mind today?"

I took a deep breath. I'd been debating with myself whether I should even talk to her about my... dream? Hallucination? I'm not even sure what it was, which is why I want to talk to Dr. Angela about it, but at the same time, I'm worried she'll think I'm crazy and need to go into the hospital again.

"Something happened Tuesday night and I don't know how or what to think about it," I said.

"Alright, well, let's talk about it and we'll see what we need to do, if anything, about it," Dr. Angela said. I nodded.

I took a deep breath and started to tell her about... whatever that was.

"So, I had a... dream maybe? But maybe it was a hallucination. I don't know. And I don't know if it means I'm crazy or what," I said.

"For starters, I don't like using the term 'crazy', as you know. Everyone deals differently with things, and that doesn't have anything to do with their mental state. Second, 'crazy' is a negative term. So, how about you tell me about this... dream, or whatever it was, and we'll unpack it together, okay?" Dr. Angela said to me. I nodded.

"Well, okay. I woke up in the middle of the night. Or, I felt like I was awake. I can't even be sure if I was awake or not," I said. "And Brandi was sitting on my bed."

"Brandi. The friend who died in the car accident?" Dr. Angela said. Again, I nodded.

"How did she look? What did she look like?"

"She looked like I remember her. She looked fine. Not busted up like she'd been in an accident. As if we were just hanging out in my room before going to the party," I said.

"Did she talk to you? Do you remember if you had any kind of a conversation?"

"We did. She told me that I shouldn't feel guilty about surviving the accident, and that she had more to drink and smoke than she'd let on, but that she wasn't anywhere near drunk or high. I mean, I guess she was. She did drink and she did smoke, so yeah."

"Okay, but that's moot at this point anyway," Dr. Angela said. I nodded. I swear, my head's going to fall off my neck with all the nodding I do. "How did you feel about seeing her in your room?"

"I wasn't scared or anything, if that's what you mean. It was, I don't know. It was, it felt normal. I guess I was sad, because I know she's dead. I know it's not possible I was actually talking to Brandi. It can't have been, and I recognize that. But I'm worried what having a conversation with someone who couldn't be there could mean. Am I losing my grip with reality?"

"Do you feel like you are?" Dr. Angela asked. "What I mean is, have you seen Brandi anywhere else? Has she shown up in school, anywhere else? Are you finding you're looking for her around corners and would you rather be talking to her than people you know you can see, touch and hear?"