21| Losing

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Losing

"Bite my neck and press your hips into mine"

"Bite my neck and press your hips into mine"

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| Valencia |

"This is sweet" I said, looking up at him over our puddings
"Mines bitter" he mumbled
"No. The date Adonis. You're sweet" I said
"No one would ever describe me that way" he said simply, averting his eyes

"Then let me taste you, and we can confirm or deny" I said
"Stop" he warned, eyes finding mine
"Why?" I asked

"Because I said so" he said
"No, why Adonis? Why do you shut me down? Hm?" I asked
"Because we... you're not..."
"Not what?" I asked

Not good enough?
"You're not sticking around. You're taking the money and leaving. You're disappearing for weeks at a time, you don't respond to my calls, how could we..." he stopped himself

"How could we what?" I asked, lowering my spoon
Be together?
Is that what you're going to say Adonis?
Say it.

Just say it.

"Nothing" he said
I deflated
Nothing

"You need to be more open Adonis" I said, simultaneously putting my walls back up
"I am open" he said blankly
I gave him a look
"What do I need to be open about?" He said defensively

I shrugged
"I don't really know much about you" I said
"Do you need to?" He asked back
"Yes. Tell me, something" I said
He thought for a long while

"I don't have anything to tell. I was like you Valencia. I didn't really do childhood" he said
Valencia. It sounds so fucking good in his mouth

"Never had any friends? Never went to school?" I asked
He shifted
"I stopped going to school around... ten. I was earning money doing runs, I didn't need school" he shrugged

"You ran drugs" I said, he nodded
"Yeah, after my mother got charged for them, you'd think I'd stay away" he chuckled sadly
"But I did what I had to. And then Enzo found me" he said

"He took you in" I said
"He gave me a place to stay, a job. If I hadn't met him, I'd be god knows where, probably prison" he said
"That's why you... feel so much for him" I thought aloud

"Yeah. Him and Athena. They were the parents I needed. My mother was in prison. My dad was nowhere to be seen" he said
"I'm... I'm sorry, that's... sad" I tried to comfort him
"It's life... look at you" he said

I guess he was right
If life had worked out differently, where would I be?

"Do you think I'd be... better? If I wasn't taken by the organisation?" I asked slowly
He said nothing
"I think I'd be... better" I said, quietly
"You're... you're perfect the way you are" he said

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