𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 • 𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 (𝐡.𝐡.)

-ᴜɴᴄᴏᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ

chapter 4.) uncovered

"You really have such an irrational, unpredictable mind, darling."

"Well, then I suppose it's a good thing you love me anyways."

"That I do, my love, that I truly do."

—————

There were times that Reina wondered what would've happened had things been different; times if minor, seemingly irrelevant details had actually changed the course of her entire life without her even knowing it. Such random bouts of contemplation didn't occur often, but when they did, she felt like nothing short of a complete mess.

She was in her hotel room, curled up on her side in her bed. Her eyes lazily drifted from one object to another, lacking the energy to truly focus on any specific thing. She was tired—she had been stuck in such a rut for three days now. The first two, she had tried, tried so hard to act like everything was normal and her head wasn't pounding. Tried to act like the very world wasn't spinning when she so much as moved—she had barely been able to hear herself speak.

She hadn't left her room that day, not even bothering to inform Charlie of her unofficial little endeavor. She didn't have it in her to do anything, exhaustion weighing down her limbs and dulling her senses. She had barely even gotten out of bed, only doing so to get dressed so she felt at least somewhat productive. But now it was an hour or so before midnight, and sleep was just as foreign a concept as ever before.

What did it matter, anyways? No one probably even noticed her absence.

Reina knew that was false, about as far from the truth as possible—but she felt as if it was genuine, her brain wrapped itself around that idea, the infernal voices in her head echoing such thoughts like a mantra. They didn't want her there. She didn't know where the intrusive thoughts came from, creeping up from the depths and innermost worries of her subconscious. But once they came to light, she simply couldn't push them away once more.

If only things had been different, maybe my brain would finally shut up, she wondered to herself. Maybe...such a wild, unpredictable term, isn't it?

If only things had been different, and maybe she wouldn't have been there, maybe she would've been happy, maybe she would've actually been worthy of Alastor's love. Maybe she wouldn't even exist to begin with.

Oh, what a relief that would've been.

Maeve was usually there to help her cope with such unproductive episodes, but not that time. Now she was the very reason for her dampened mood. Reina tried not to be a sentimental individual—for emotions were nothing but weakness, and every little weakness merely meant that there was all the more room for exploration. But she was going to be honest with herself, going to allow herself a moment of vulnerability; she really missed her sister.

Maeve was rarely ever around anymore; Reina didn't know where her twin went, but it certainly wasn't the hotel. She'd occasionally come around, considering there was no actual animosity between her or any of the members of the hotel. Charlie would greet her happily, nearly begging her to stay a little longer—only for Maeve to decline, promising to return eventually. The last time Reina had remembered her twin coming back was about a week ago.

Reina knew rumors were bound to spread, considering the twins were notorious throughout Hell for being attached at the hip at nearly all times. But recently, they were never together, a rift divided between them that Reina didn't know how to fix.