Cupid & Psyche

Cupid & Psyche: Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five

Some things aren’t meant to be kept forever. You know you have to stop and let go when things aren’t going right and everything you did is unappreciated. Remember what Batman said? “It’s wiser to be alone but happy than be with somebody who does nothing while you’re doing everything.

I felt a little bit of uncomfortable coming over Cupid’s house again after that night I made a fool of myself. But I can’t find the heart to ignore his grams. She still smiles at me like before like I had not done anything wrong to her birthday. Now it makes me feel bad more.

I went close to the fences and she moved towards me.

‘Hello, honey! Would you like to come in have some tea with me?’ she asked.

I faint a smile. ‘Oh, I think I’ll have to pass, grams.’

‘Aw… you wouldn’t say no to an old lady who’s living days are numbered right?’ she smiled again. She’s even clever than I thought. ‘Come in and spend time with Me.’ she opened the gate and I went in.

She prepared some tea for herself while I asked her that I’d rather have a hot chocolate. In her little green house she prepared our table and I helped her fix it.

‘Grams,’ I started.

She grabbed her cup and started drinking her tea.

‘I’m sorry about what happened to your birthday.’ I said then my eyes flickered to my own cup not meeting her eyes anymore. ‘I know it’s rude that I have to say that at your birthday…’

‘Sometimes, we have to say what our hearts can no longer hide. It helps us ease the pain.’ She said.

‘So you’re not mad at me?’ I asked.

Her blue eyes sparkled with delight. Just like Cupid’s eyes.

‘We’re not mad at you, Psyche. You only said it because you can no longer hide it.’

‘I can no longer pretend.’ I said to myself. ‘I’m afraid that the more I said it the more things got complicated.’

‘Don’t be afraid that your problems won’t get fixed. You might not know that it was purposely muddled so that you’ll get better.’ She drank her tea again. ‘Drink your chocolate, dear.’

I obeyed her.

‘We have met your sister. She’d been here lately.’ She said and I nodded.

‘She’s his girlfriend.’ Saying it gave me ten needles to the heart.

‘She’s pretty.’ She said. Of course, who wouldn’t say that she’s not? ‘But you’re beautiful, Psyche.’

I had to smile to it, still it was a compliment.

‘You know when they say you’re pretty it means the outside appearance. When someone says you’re beautiful it’s what the inside is.’ She winked at me. ‘A character will always make you more attractive than someone who only has a great face but no substance.’

‘But that won’t get me noticed.’

She made a “tsk”. ‘Argh! Beauty catches attention. But character…’ she tapped my chest. ‘…captures the heart.’

‘Thanks, grams.’ She nodded at me and she patted my cheek. ‘You know my votes for you, don’t worry.’

 ‘If I’m not mistaken you said: you can no longer pretend.’

I looked up to her and I knew that she knew.

‘That wasn’t pretend, Psyche. I know that you both weren’t pretending.’ She said.

I smiled. ‘I just don’t want to fool anyone including myself.’

‘You love him.’ I flinched at her words. ‘He loves you.’

I scoffed. ‘He doesn’t grams. Because we were just pretending and I on the other hand fell for it unconsciously.’

 ‘I don’t believe you’re the only one who fell.’ She smiled and she sipped the last of her tea.

‘By the way, when I see you two together there are sparks everywhere!’ She laughs. ‘I remembered my teenage years with my husband. I had to get close to him so that he’d have to get the courage to tell me what he feels.’

I laughed with her.

‘And the way I see him look at you, it’s exactly the same way my husband gave me during those days.’

That’s when I looked away.

‘I don’t want to give my hopes again, grams. I had to much pain already…’ I held back the tears from coming out again.

She held my hand then I realized that she placed something in my palm. I opened it to see a rose leaf.

‘You may hope.’ She said.

I grasped it in my hand. ‘Thank you again, grams.’ Then I stood up. ‘I guess I’ll be going now.’ Yeah, I should before he comes and I don’t want to see him.

‘I hope to see you again, Psyche.’ She said and I gave her a hug.

I started to the door then I opened my bag to get my iPod when I saw my diary again. I turned to give it to grams and maybe tell her to give this to him but she was already back to her garden. So I held it in my hand instead and I started to listen to Kyla’s “It’s Over Now” when the door in front of me opened and…

‘Hi,’ he said when he saw me.

I gave him a nod then I went for the door.

‘Psyche,’ he called me and I felt the pain of it in my own ears.

I grasped my diary from my hand and I held it up to his face.

‘I don’t want to talk about it anymore.’ I took a deep breath. ‘This maybe would give you answers that you need… ‘Cause I might not answer them for you anymore.’ he took my diary from me and I turned around.

‘Psyche,’ he held my hand and the more he calls for me the more the pain strikes in my heart.

‘Please…’ I said. I felt my voice quiver. ‘Please just let me go.’

I felt his hand loosen and I felt a tear fell down from my left eye. It hurts to know that he can’t even hold me back for a second. If I’d tell him to let me go… he would without hesitation.

‘I just want you to know that I have never hated you.’ he said in his own soft and cool voice.

I nodded but I didn’t have the strength to turn around and let him see me crying again.

‘Are you playing the role just like the rest? Or…’ I started to face him. I looked at his eyes; searching if still I could see any spec of hope that I can hold on to.

‘When you stare at me, do you see the love of you and me?’

But I saw nothing.

When a person can’t answer directly to your question or doesn’t answer at all, probably, the answer is too painful for you to know or too hard for them to admit.

Though the feeling hasn’t pass

Sad to say our love didn’t last

Please don’t ask me to pretend

‘Cause I know it’s over

 

When I’m done forgetting you

You can say what you wanna do

Please don’t ask me to pretend

‘Cause I know it’s over now

 

He may not see that I’m jealous, he may not feel that I’m hurt, he may not hear my cries, but every time I realized he’s not mine…

I die.