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**Audri’s POV**
The next day I went to school like nothing happened, I avoided Niall like the plague. I actually avoided him for a week. I don’t know why, I guess it’s because I’m scared. He sees a pretty girl, but I don’t. I’m afraid my insecurities will hurt me. That they’ll hurt him. He needs a pretty, confident girl who will flaunt what she has. Not a girl who hides in fear of what others think.
I knew that he was trying to get in touch with me. Harry told me he was looking for me countless times. He sent me numerous texts and voice mails, begging for me to answer him and wanting to know what was wrong.
But I don’t know if I can tell him. How could I? I think he might like me, but we would never work out. His best friend is my older cousin, he’s my big cousin’s best friend. It would just never work out.
I decided to walk home. But when I got halfway there Harry and Niall pulled up next to me, rolling with me as I walked. “Come on, Audri. Get in the car.” Harry insisted, smiling a bit at me. I shook my head, turning my head to the ground.
I can’t handle it. I can’t handle being with them. At least when I’m with Liam people know that he’s my cousin, but when I’m with them it’s different. The hate pours in. It’s a lot to handle. Especially after dealing with what I have.
A car door slamming broke me out of my daze and into the real world. I felt an arm around my waist and looked up to see Niall smiling at me.
“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked. I saw Harry drive away and sighed, ignoring him and continuing to walk. “Come on, Dri.” He said, his fingers playing with the hem of my shirt.
“I don’t want to talk,” I whispered, still looking at the ground as I talked. He sighed, then said, “Alright.” We walked in silence to the apartment building. We walked in and to the elevator, going up to our floor. I walked out briskly, going straight to Liam, Dani and I’s apartment and shoving my key in the lock, twisting it and throwing the door open.
“Dri, come on! At least let me know what’s wrong!” Niall said, trying to get in behind me. I slammed the door in his face, locking it and turning on my heel. I went to my bedroom, dropping off my backpack and grabbing my laptop.
I’m right. I’m ugly. I’m a bitch. I’m awful. I’m unimportant. I’m unwanted. I’m useless.
I checked Twitter, knowing that it’d give me what I want. I typed my name into the search bar and watched as the tweets surfaced. Tears rolled down my face. I knew it. I knew it.
I left my laptop open and practically ran out of the room. I knocked something over, and I heard it crash to the ground and shatter. I heard the pounding on the door stop and I pushed the bathroom door open. I slammed it shut behind me, locking the door.
I opened the cabinet, pulling out Liam’s razor. I noticed the different blades and broke the top off quickly, more tears rolling down my face. I pulled at the first blade, crying more as I realized it wouldn’t work. I just cut up my fingers, now.
I pushed around in the cabinet, sending stuff flying to the ground before I found it. I took the blade and moved to the other side of the bathroom. I sat down against the bath tub with tears in my eyes.
Ugly. Useless. Stupid. Slut. You coward! Just do it!
I pursed my lips as more tears rolled down my cheeks, pressing the blade to my wrist. I pushed far enough to break my skin and cause blood to rise. I let out a sob, then the door was thrown open and Niall stood in the doorway. A door now broken off it’s hinges.
