You're still mine

Chapter 11

The following morning, Rocco escorts her back to the parking garage Haven that used to be their home. As they're on the roof, they stand looking at all the tents, the items that they had gathered together to adorn the roof. Despite his need to show strength and determination in his decision, the memories come flooding back painfully into Rocco's heart.

Torah looks over at him as he gazes at the tents, and she can see a glimmer in his eye, knowing full well that he's remembering too. As if to get to business right away, he ignores the feeling and gets down to reminding her about the locked doors. Rocco instructs her to stay up here and to never leave the building unless absolutely necessary. Torah feels a sick, empty feeling, as though she's about to lose a huge part of her heart, like her life force is being ripped out from her because it feels as though this is final and that Rocco will be leaving.

"Hey, are you listening to me?" Rocco breaks her out of her reverie.

"I'm sorry, what?" Torah says in a dazed manner.

Rocco takes an annoyed sigh, or at least that's what it looks like to Torah, and he repeats himself.

"If you absolutely have to go to the first floor for any reason and you need a quick escape, I have a place for you to hide."

He gestures for Torah to follow him, something that she'll miss doing, and they go down to the first floor. Rocco had carried an old fuel can with him.

"Listen to me. This is old gas, so it's going to smell really bad and it might make you feel sick, but it's enough to mask your smell momentarily if there's a banker in the area. If there is one in the area and you can't get away, pour it all over yourself as a last resort, and then lock yourself in this trunk."

Rocco demonstrates with gestures and then shows her a car with an open trunk and a rope tied onto the top inner part of it.

"Obviously, don't light any fires," he says, as if explaining all of this to some client that he doesn't know. He reaches over to the side of the wall next to the car, picking up a jug and putting it in Torah's hand. She looks at it and notices it has a washed-out label.

"That's vinegar. When you're short and absolutely sure that you're safe, then you pour this over yourself. It should be enough, and there are two more jugs right there. That will neutralize the smell."

After Rocco explains everything to her, she just looks at him. He cocks his head as if hearing something that Torah cannot. It's starting to get dark, something that Rocco barely notices now but is aware of due to the changes in animal behavior, the smell of the air, and the activity of whatever infected might be in the area.

"I promise I'll leave you supplies."

"How... um... will I know... should I look out for you?"

"I'll hook up a system on the side of the building to pull stuff up to you. That way, we never have to see each other. You don't ever have to come to the first floor. All canned stuff or things that other animals won't get to. If anything, I can just drop it off."

Rocco looks down at her with his hands in his pockets. Even in the dying light, he can see very clearly that tears are forming in her eyes, that her heart is beating rapidly, and that her skin is tense. He can smell the stress chemicals in her blood. He understands completely what's going on and that Torah is experiencing immense sadness. It's very intriguing to Rocco how this state that she's in seems indistinguishable from when his prey is afraid that they're going to die. He wonders if the sadness Torah is feeling is, in fact, no different than fear. Then he wonders if she's afraid because he won't be around and because she'll be alone or for another reason.

"Do you have any questions?"

In one last-ditch effort, Torah, with her sad little brown eyes, looks up at her husband and takes his hands in hers, inching a little closer to him but not feeling close enough.

"I know what you're trying to do and... I love you for it and... please stay. I know you think that... I love you. I... need you. I know it's hard for you, baby, And I'm so, so sorry... I want to work through this with you, and I know it's stupid to ask this because I don't know what you're going through, but... we don't have to stay on the same floor... but could you please... please don't leave? Can you please stay?"

Licking the tears off her lips, Torah realizes that she's been looking at the floor, and then she looks back up into his eyes, which are now glowing brightly in the descending darkness. There is a moment of tense silence between them before Torah feels the all-encompassing sensation of a gunshot to the heart when Rocco simply replies with a cold and uncaring, "...No."

She tries to hug him, and he backs away from her, giving her absolutely nothing in terms of emotional reciprocation. Once again, she runs to him and tries to throw her arms around him to kiss him, but he pushes her away gently and then firmly.

"No," he repeats more firmly than before.

As Rocco turns to leave, Torah's tears cascade down her face as she calls out to him a little too loudly,

"Is it because you want to be with that banker woman instead? Is that why you're just ditching me? 'Cause it feels like you're abandoning me for her. You've done it before, and you said you were sorry and you were trying—"

"Torah..." Rocco cuts her off, a sadness threatening to envelop him as well. He feels like more of his humanity is being chipped away at in this moment, which is very dangerous for Torah.

"It's because I'm not married to you anymore."

"We made a vow to each other, Rocco, that we'd always be together, and that you would never leave me, and now it feels like that's what you're doing—"

Rocco turns slightly to face her, his eyes aglow and seemingly robotic, not giving away any hints of emotion.

"We made a vow to each other till death do us part. The Rocco who married you was dead, so technically... death has done us apart. I'm sorry. The truth is I am what I am... and I will continue to keep my promise to protect you, but as for us being a couple, that's not something that's ideal for either of us."

"You're just going to leave me and fuck her, right? You say all that, but you're going right to her, aren't you?" Torah says out of desperation, heartbreak, and the feeling of betrayal all over again.

When Rocco just stands there, not saying anything, Torah already knows the answer.

"You can at least be honest with me. If nothing else, Rocco, you can at least—"

"Yes. Yes, I'm going to fuck her," Rocco blurts out coldly, knowing this is a dagger to Torah's heart.

He closes his eyes in regret at having to go through this and put Torah through this, as he hears her gasp and the scent of her conflicting chemicals warring with each other. He turns to leave again, thinking that this is the nail in the coffin, when he hears her tiny voice call out to him.

"Baby... p-... please..."

"I promise to take care of you. But if you love me, then stay here and stay still and just wait."

Those are the last words that Rocco says before he leaves Torah in the dark.