TW: The Murders of an entire clan. Death. Sadness. And a change of canon.
.....
"Letter From My Heart to My Brain"
"It's okay to hang upside-down like a bat,
to swim into the deep end of silence,
to swallow every key so you can't get out.
It's okay to hear the ocean calling your fevered name
to say your sorrow is an opera of snakes,
to flirt with sharp and heartless things.
It's okay to write, I deserve everything,
to bow down to this rotten thing
that understands you, to adore the red
and ugly queen of it, to admire
her calm and steady rowing.
It's okay to lock yourself in the medicine cabinet,
to drink all the wine, to do what it takes to stay
without staying. It's okay to hate God today
to change his name to yours, to want to ruin all that ruined you.
It's okay to feel like only a photograph of yourself,
to need a stranger to pull your hair and pin you down,
it's okay to want your mother as you lie alone in bed.
It's okay to brick to fuck to flame to church to crush to knife
to rock to rock to rock to rock to rock and rock.
It's okay to wave good-bye to yourself in the mirror.
To write, I don't want anything.
It's okay to despise what you have inherited,
to feel dead in a city of pulses. It's okay
to be the whale that never comes up for air,
to love best the taste of your own blood."
Rachel McKibbens
______________________________
Itachi's mind was spinning and he felt nauseous.
The things they were asking him to do... the things he would have to do to his family...
And Sasuke... what would happen to Sasuke. He can't... He just...
He needed to think.
He needed to talk to Makoto.
...
Asami watched with narrow eyes as Itachi and Makoto disappeared upstairs, both looking like they hadn't slept in a week.
She didn't follow. As curious and worried as she was, she would not break her brother's trust. If she needed to know, he would tell her.
...
The training Itachi gave them changed from once a week to every day.
The 3 kids didn't have any clues as to why, but Asami thought that it might have something to do with the discussions that the elder brothers were having.
...
Asami was not an idiot. She was, after all, 8 years old. Older and wiser than she used to be.
Itachi had a look in his eyes.
A dark look. A sickening look.
She watched carefully as he held on tighter to Sasuke as he said goodbye.
Sasuke would be staying the night tonight. Itachi looked so afraid.
His final words to Sasuke were, "Remember that I love you, ototo. And I always will. I hope that you can forgive me."
...
The next day, she learned that the entirety of the Uchiha Clan was massacred.
There were no survivors.
Other than Sasuke, who had not gone home that night.
Most called it luck.
Asami called it planned out to the very last detail.
...
Sasuke joined their little group in the restaurant. Makoot was now taking care of 3 children and himself.
Mysteriously, they were doing fine.
He wasn't sure if it was the Nara behind it or Itachi but someone had taken it upon themselves to make sure he could care for his siblings.
He was eternally grateful to them.
...
Makoto held Asami's hand as they walked to the Academy.
He had never walked with her before.
In fact, every child was escorted to and from school, now.
Everything had changed.
______________________
"Letter From My Brain To My Heart"
"This house is dirty, but comfortable.
Behind each crooked door
waits the angry weather of a forgiveless child.
I cannot help but admire this horrible
power of mine, how each small thing
can become a death: the lost house key. A spoiled egg.
A howling dog. There is no prayer or pill for this.
It is a ruthless botany; I might as well
be buried in the yard. I have no one to blame.
Not the mother who sang to an empty cradle.
Not the Dog of Spite who bit my hand,
just this long-legged sorrow
who trails my every joy like a dark perfume.
You have my permission not to love me;
I am a cathedral of deadbolts
and I'd rather burn myself down
than change the locks."
Rachel McKibbens
YOU ARE READING
Lights Down Low
Fanfiction~Shikamaru Nara x OC~ Asami Himura is just a plain old normal civilian-born girl. That just so happens to be a Shinobi. Growing up in the same generation as Naruto Uzumaki can certainly lead to an adventurous childhood. So long as she survives it w...
