Fly

Chapter 8

I take a deep breath and push through the haze of pain. My legs buckle and I fall into my side, remembering my training. I curl into a ball and let myself shift. I listen intently, using my wolfish senses to continue my security until they, too, disappear. I notice that this change was much faster then my first one. It only lasted like 20 minutes compared to about 35-40, but it still hurt really bad. I guess that changing back to my natural state was easier yet just about as painful, considering I have spent my whole life in that shape, my body was accustomed to living in it. It wasn't trying to create an alien form of myself.

I looked over myself, going to take care of any bruises or injuries, but I saw none. The pain of shifting was quickly fading as my panic rose. What happened? I should have cuts and bruises all over - oh my god and don't forget whatever happened to my tail! What would that tail be to a human? WHAT SHOULD I HAVE MISSING RIGHT NOW??

I fell to my knees and put my hands in a tent over my mouth, trying to calm down. I saw black dots in my vision, slowly shrinking as I had my panic attack. This isn't how things work, is it? If I go back to my wolf form will I be ill-ridden like I had before I changed? Will I have a tail?

Ugh! Why was I given this power? Why would some lowly orphan who killed their own parents get this, the ability to shapeshift? What am I supposed to use it for? How does it work?

I slowly lean over so I'm facedown on the ground. My heart was beating erratically, my lungs couldn't take in enough air, my eyes couldn't see. I felt myself losing conciousness and falling onto my side.

I woke again in the middle of the village. My back stung, so I was probably dragged and now I'm all scratched up. I sat up and looked around me. The wolves were sitting in a large ring, minus the alpha. I even saw the pups, sleeping in a big adorable pile, and the elder wolves, sitting with the rest but still separate. They must have noticed my confused look because one got up and trotted over. They looked me and started talking. Well, talking like they were talking to a wolf. I didn't understand, being a human at the moment. I slowly got to my feet and brushed all the leaves and dirt off me the best I could. I smiled and patted the head of the wolf that tried to communicate with me. I was too tired to shapeshift, so I just walked my naked human form into the alpha's cave to see what was up.

It was empty. I saw one of the young blind cubs being nursed by his mother, the She-Alpha, but Mr. Alpha was gone. Is he dead from his injuries, or did he just leave? I didn't succeed him, did I? Oh no... was that why everyone had been acting so weird?!

To avoid a full blown panic attack, I dropped to my knees and put my face in my hands. This isn't good, not good at all...

I blinked away the tears pooling in my eyes and stood up. I took a deep breath and walked out into the ring of wolves. They all turned their heads towards me and looked down in respect. Yep, that settles it. I'm the new alpha. (Does that mean I get the alpha's wife as my own... HEY - GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER) I debated changing to a wolf to best suit my pack, but I changed my mind. I didn't want to know how my form would look. I couldn't bear the pain of changing right now. So I stayed, standing naked in front of the whole pack, feeling the weight of the new responsibility slowly push down on my shoulders. The weight became so crippling, my knees buckled and I feel over onto my forearms and knees.

What was I going to do now...

I felt unconsciousness before I saw the black fading into my vision. In my last moments, I watched a young cub slowly walk over to me and yelp as if asking "what's wrong?", and then I lost all sight.

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When I awoke next, I drowsily looked around. Rubbing away sleep with one hand, I saw I was in the alpha chamber. The four young cubs of the previous alpha were in a big pile, snoring away, against their mother. She was staring at me with cold, hard eyes. I shrunk away from her gaze and walked out. I couldn't bear to feel her anger radiating from her anymore.

I took a deep breath in the cool, night air and walked through the woods, having no end point in mind. Maybe some clothes would be good though. If only I could remember where that clearing was... oh look it's right there! I take a turn to the left and walk into the clearing. My pack and katana are still sitting where I left them. I first lay my katana against my cheek and sigh in relief. You're home now, don't be afraid little one. I'll never abandon you like this again, I promise, baby.

I widen my eyes and shudder at what I just did. Console my sword? Holy crap, I'm gone. I'm losing it.

Pretending nothing happened, I put my sword down and zip open my bag. I throw on a fresh pair of clothes, jeans, a white t-shirt, and an old raggedy jacket. I need to replace that thing... deerskin maybe? Yeah, that sounds good! I pull my knee-high boots back on by my pile of ruined clothes a little ways from the clearing. I now had clothes again! I just need to remember to not shift in clothes again.

I grab my sword and my bag and start heading back to the pack. I swing the strap over my head so I can carry it like a messenger bag. Rummaging through it briefly, I pull out an energy bar and scarf it down. I don't remember when I last ate... and passing out really didn't help any.

I kept my eyes on watch for any prey to kill. I heard something scurrying a little ways away, but it sounded like a squirrel or a ground mouse. That wasn't worth it. I needed more than that. Still keeping an eye out for deer, because the jacket I could make for that is all I can think of, and the food it'll provide, so I end up getting lost in thought and walk right into a tree. I jolt to attention and pull out my sword, just barely restraining myself from attacking the tree. Instincts, they really suck sometimes.

Sighing, I turn and walk around the tree, not letting my thoughts drown out my reality again.

I trot along peacefully, immersing myself in nature and not letting myself think. I'm sure if I did I would crumble under anxiety and stress again. Killing (probably) the alpha, taking over a pack of wolves, and even going back as far as jumping out of a plane and leaving my whole life behind - no, stop. No thinking right now. Just look at the sky, the trees, the sounds of nature. Take some deep breaths, let the scurrying of life take over your consciousness. Don't think about the past, think of the comfortable breeze. Don't think of the mysterious powers you just gained, think of the birds chirping and playing with each other in the trees above. Don't think of the creature slowly creeping up behind you, think of the - WAIT WHAT CREATURE?! Katana in hand, stance placed, I spin on my heel and face the incoming threat.

The blood-coated pelt, the scratched muzzle, bloody paws. The eyes bored into mine, scathing my soul. I searched for answers, wondering what had happened to this poor wolf. As their back legs tighten and bend, the impending pounce hit me like a brick wall. I jumped backwards and started running.

Wait...

I know who this is!

I knew why the wolf was trying to attack, he wanted his position of power back. The alpha would not just leave me alone as I pass by him, he would attack and take back his regime. No matter how injured or weak he was, he would still attack. I sprinted away, feeling his desperate breath panting behind me. All I had to do was get into my territory and he won't be able to enter. And then I'll - OOF! In my uncoordinated scramble for survival, I almost trip myself up. He gets even closer. His claws catch my heels. His teeth bite my jacket. I yell and slide out my katana. I swing it blindly, closing my eyes.

Everything happens so fast.

I'm still a kid. But I was never allowed to be a kid. I had to grow up so fast, too fast.

I feel blood gush onto me. I feel claws and teeth digging into me. I feel a deep gash in my leg. I feel my heart racing, blood pumping. I feel myself weakly calling for help. I feel the alpha struggle to keep fighting. I feel myself struggling to breathe.