SOULTIES

Chapter 8

excuse any mistakes

Carina Cashmere Greene-Fischer

Well back to work I go. Enjoyed my only day off, and quite frankly it was the worst. I'm happy nonetheless though. I get to pull a double

Tomorrow is my only night closing this week and I'm so glad I chose to close tonight than any other night

Miracle is at school right along with Lay. I made sure they was at school on time, so that leaves me to being with my mother and her mentally abusive and bad habit enabling of a boyfriend

Which I wouldn't consider him as a boyfriend. Heavy on the boy part though. Just feel like a man wouldn't bring his woman down

It's very degrading to her. She's allowing it and I guess overtime I've learned and more so realize that she attracts grown boys

Which helps me steer away from men in general. It scares me that I may run into somebody like either Jonathan or my father and I don't want that for me or my future kids

I don't want them to see me torn down by a man I chose to be their father. My mother had taught me a lot with just her actions

I would never and I've promised myself to never put a man or anybody before my own flesh and blood especially my kids

I see and know what it feels like to be put last because of a man and I don't ever want them to feel like I love them less then somebody else

If I were to break that promise it would really hurt me. But that's just talk. I want to be a better mother and parent to my kids and anybody else's kids that may need that extra guardian in their life

I want my kids to feel secure with me. Don't ever want them to feel as though they need to hide anything from me

"Rina" momma groaned as I finished the email to my teachers asking them if there's a way I could still do my work while being home due to a family emergency

"What's wrong?"

"I'm cold" she said "ok, let's take a warm bath and I'm going to make you some soup ok?" she groaned in what sounded like pain

Helping her up I held her all the way to the bathroom. Sitting her on the floor I ran her a nice bath

"You want bubbles too?" I smiled bending down to her level and pushing her hair out of her face

"Mhm" she mumbled lowly as I made sure there was enough bubbles for her "ok c'mon" helping her undress I slowly helped her into the tub

"I'm going to make your soup ok? I'll be back" walking out of the bathroom I went to the kitchen and grabbed a can of chicken noodle soup

Dumping it all into a bowl I put it in the microwave for a minute and fifteen seconds

"Go to the store and get some beer and milk" Jonathan said to me as I stoped the microwave and grabbed her food along with a spoon

"Be so glad when she comes to her senses and leaves you for good" I mumbled going to the bathroom

Momma was still sitting up in the tub "ma, I got your food" I smiled lightly closing the bathroom door so I could wash and feed her

Sitting it on the bathroom sink I grabbed her a rag out of the closet we had behind the door "let's wash so you can eat and lay down ok?"

"Ok" she whimpered. Lathering her rag good I began to wash her and scrub in places that needed scrubbing

"Wanna wash your hair too?" she nodded "ok" I love doing her hair

I fed her in between me washing her hair. While the conditioner sat I fed her the rest of the soup "don't drink the bath water"