Phighting and Regretevator oneshots

Unexpected apperance 💫

Lampert was walking around Ikea, as usual, looking for something to do. He was very bored around this area, but it's not like he could leave.. the elevator wasn't here yet. Besides, Wallter and Mark's arguing got pretty intense yesterday. They hadn't dared talk to eachother for a while and even avoided one another everytime they came in contact. Lampert wished they weren't divorced, he liked spending time with them. Well, there's not much he could do about it anyways.

As Lampert was kicking the penguins across the floor, he suddenly caught sight of a yellowish figure. Was it a Ikea worker? Yet again, it didn't have the uniform.. maybe it was a Player?

Lampert slowly got closer to it so he could inspect them, the closer he got, the more curious he gotten. Once he was in arms reach, he realised this isn't any ordinary Player.. it had yellow wings and was wearing a gameshow-host suit. They had horns too.. were they some kind of demon? It looks like it.

The yellow demon turned around and they looked at eachother straight in the eyes. Lampert felt a bit shocked by this sudden reaction, but he thought now was the time to start asking.

"Who are you. Where did you come from?"
He asked, in a dead-stern tone.

The winged-demon scratched their head and looked around, obviously they didn't know where they were.

"I could ask the same thing! I was just looking for my brother until I ended up here.. I'm Valk."

Valk? What a peculiar name. Anyways, now's not the time to insult names. He was glad he had NEW company. Wallter, Mark and Kasper get quite boring after a while, besides, what if this guy was sanitised?

"My name's Lampert. This is Ikea. I just live here, it's a place where you could get lost easily."

Valk nodded.
"I can tell. I think I'm already lost!"
He laughed to himself, but stopped laughing once he realised Lampert wasn't laughing with him.

"So.. uh.. could you help me get back to my place?"
Valk insisted.

Lampert thought about this. Number 1. He didn't even know this.. thing.. Number 2. Why would he help anyone? And number 3. He doesn't even know where Valk lives..

"You know what? Fine. Just.. don't touch me alright?"

"Why not?"

"I'm a germaphobe."

"Oh.. ok."

Valk looked down as they walked around Ikea. He wanted to start a conversation so he thought of something to begin with, right as he was about to say something Lampert interrupted him.

"So. What happened before you got here?"

Valk had a good think before he could answer.

"Well.. I was with my brother Dom, of course, then this.. uhm.. weird elevator appeared. I got in but then I.. blacked out I guess?.. I don't really remember but I ended up here.. so.."

Lampert listened to every word, what an usual thing. He must be one of those 'players', he can't be from around here.

"What game are you even from?.." Lampert asked.

"I'm.. a phighter."

"A what?"

"A phighter, from a game called Phighting!"

"... Never heard of it."

Valk smiled awkwardly at the lamp, it was quite hard to talk to this guy. He seemed quite bland in his ways of speech. Anyways he decided to start with another question.

"How come you're here?"

Lampert looked up at him, he didn't really want to answer this.

"Well. I just.. uh.. live here? It's my comfort zone."

"This place doesn't seem that.. nice.. though."

Lampert stayed silent, thinking of a reply.

"I like to hide here, incase Wallter and Mark start fighting again."

"Who?.."

Valk tilted his head in confusion, he really wanted to know who these people were and why they were fighting.

"Mark and Wallter are.. uhm.. my 'friends' yeah. They're divorced so they tend to fight here and there. They rely on me to choose who's side to go on, I hate picking sides so I hide here to avoid it."

Valk just stood there intrigued by all this but he wasn't sure if Lampert was being truthful with the 'friends' part. No matter.

"Hey, I know how it feels! My parents are divorced, so I have to stay at each house every week! They always fight over me and my brother! It's hard but that's life for ya!"

Valk chuckled, which made the lamp feel a bit better. It was nice to have someone to relate to, everyone else just seemed 'happy' and 'jolly' all the time. Like Party Noob for example, what were they so happy about? Don't parties get boring after a while?

The winged-demon realised Lampert was staring out to space, so he waved his hand infront of them.

"Hey? You good?"

Lampert blinked a few times and nodded.

"Yes. Let's just get you back to where you came from."

"Thanks dude!"

(816 words!! im not continuing this)