If loving you is Wrong

Many Firsts:

     We were sitting in the corner just yapping. Well they were yapping I was balantly ignoring them. I had a raging head ache and the only thing that grounded me was the promise ring Chris gave me yesterday. I saw Desirée looking at it in confusion but didn't ask about it probably thinking my father gave it to me.
     Desirée and Ray have been casting me fugitive glances and what not. Earlier today I walked in on what looked like a secret meeting subject topic of the day:
Me.
"What are you guys whispering about?", I finally snapped when Ray cast a fugitive glance. They both paused glanced at each other before turning to stared at me with mixed expressions. Ray look conflicted and baffled; this expression isn't a new one for Ray. But Desirée looked conflicted but totally convinced. For once in my life I saw Desirée decide by herself to not to tell me something.
"Hello...Can I get a response?", I snapped again.
Ray opened his mouth to tell me something but Desirée silenced him with a sharp look. He lowered his head before nodding.
"Nothing".
"Oh really", I said sarcastically,"Nothing".
      The headache that have been budding suddenly made a surprise appearance. Pain exploded in the back of my eyes and I hissed in pain. I rode the wave of pain, massaging the bridge of my nose.
"Are you okay, Nudge?".
I slowly opened my eyes to find Desirée kneeling in front of me looked alarmed.
"No", I said shortly. I pushed her away not roughly but enough to get her out of my face.
"You don't look too good, Ma", Ray said sounded like a wounded child. He have bee calling me Ma since I have been calling her my son.
I didn't reply but gathered up my book bag and strode past them both.
"Mr. Woodcock", I tapped the older man,"Can I go to the bathroom? I don't feel so good".
"Yes", he replied. He quickly wrote me a pass before telling me hurry back.
    I didn't reply but hurried out the classroom despite Ray calling me. I was seething and seriously thinking about removing Desirée's and Ray's heads from their shoulders.
I splashed water on my face and stared at my reflection in the dirty, cracked mirror.
     A girl with shoulder length jet black hair, a round shaped head, and a button nose. Everything about me is circular. My nose, my breasts, my head, even my ass, even my fucking lips .
"Why are they hiding secerts from me?", I growled at my reflection. Another wave of pain hits me and I gripped the sink, riding the pain out again.

"I can't believe that she would do that?", Desirée whispered-hissed to Ray. He whispered back but I couldn't fully make out why he said.
"Yeah but...she always...I don't know what...", he said in reply.
"So she is keeping secrets and acting like that", Desirée replied quietly her voice slowly becoming lowered as they became more aware of my presence.

"What the hell or who the hell are they talking about?", I asked myself under my breath standing straight when a tall girl stroll in. She let herself into a bathroom stall. Another boubt of pain hits me on the side of my temples.
    I slowly pull out my phone, highly aware of the fact that any sudden movements would trigger another wave of pain.

Chris I won't be able to make it today. Please don't be mad
He message me back within less than a minute.
Why?
I have a terrible headache
But I planned this surprise for u a month ago
Please don't be mad at me!
I'm not I'm just u noe...
You are just mad...
Im not but I really,really wanted to show u.
I'm so sorry
Forget the surprise I want to get u better. u dont have a headache but a migraine or a sinus migraine. I have some meds I will pick u up by the pond
I don't know if I can make it
U can 4 me don't make me ask again g2g teach coming
Okay bye
I splashed water on my face and steeled myself to get though this day without killing someone.

    Somehow I manged to make of though the day without slitting my own wrists or chopping my classmates into little pieces.
I waited by the duck pond everyonce in while hissing at ducks.
"Scram", I snapped at the birds,"your home is being being taken over by me like ...umm... The Natives and the Westerns". Hands came down onto my shoulders and I fought  the urge to throw the person over my shouders.
"I was serious thinking out killing you" I told Chris when I twisted around and glared at him. He hushed my complaints with kiss on the lips. I was no longer concerned about my headache and crazy best friends that kept secrets but on the feel of his mouth on mine.
He broke away panting in my face," Let's go", he said as he grabbed my hand with a mischievous glint in his eye. I fear and loved that look became it spoke of dark unpsoken promises.

    Before I knew what was happening I was waiting as Chri fumbled with his house keys and letting us in. The house was exactly what I imagined his house to look like. It was small, cozy, and spoke of a single mother taking care of her child to the best of her ability.
"Let's get your medicine", he said quietly gently taking my hand and leading me around the house. I looked around the kitchen taking in the island that rested in the middle of kitchen. On one side of it was an assortment of seasonings for foods. I let out a startled yelp when he lifted me and placed me onto the island.
"Stay here", he kissed me softly on the lips before leaving.
    Moments later he returned holding two pill bottles. He reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of 'Skylark' .
"Skylark", I read out loud in confusion. He nodded as he pulled out two red cups and placed them next to me.
"Yep it helps you wash the pill down", he opened the pill the larger pill bottle dropping a white pill onto his palm. He placed that into my awaiting hand before dumping two small purple pill into his hand.
     While he was doing that I poured the drink into the red cups. I took a tentative sip of its contents before I gagged.
"That's alcohol", I spluttered.
He nodded like I was a small child that he needed immense patience with. He tossed a purple pill into the cup and we both watched it dissolve into the alcohol.
"Take the white pill then drink the 'beverage'", he said quietly.
"No", I said like a little child crossing my arms over my chest. He slammed the pill bottle on the island causing me to jump slightly.
"Please...got dammit. I wanted to do a surprise for you but you shot that down. I want to help you unwind and you shoot that down too", he snapped.
    I bit my lip an looked down at the cup I clasped in my hands.
I have been unusually short tempered with Chris. And all he wants to do is help me.
"I'm sorry", I whispered I reached out to pat his arm but he shrugged me off.
"It's cool", he said before he closed the pill bottles,"at least take the white pill".
Before I could second guess myself I drunk the red cup's contents before reaching for the bottle.
"You haven't drunk your cup yet". He glanced over at me in confusion before he saw my empty cup.
"You didn't have t---", I hushed him with a passionate kiss on the lips.
"But I wanted too".
"I love you".
I drew back and searched his face in surprise and shock.
"I love you too".

   I don't remember how I got home, into my bed. But I remember the sheer pleasure of hearing that Chris loves me. He held me in his arms as I rested my head on his bare chest. With my body sharing heat and space with his I felt asleep with a smile on my face. I thought it was all apart of my imagination but the raging headache from a hangover and the soreness between my legs told me what I needed to know. But the feeling of my heart getting ready to burst out of my chest with love for Chris.