washable markers ➝ taekook

forty-six

~네가 나를 믿을 수 있다는 걸 알게 되고 싶어.

   Taehyung was a high school graduate now. And that meant he was no longer grounded. So, what was the first thing he did with his freedom? Of course, he went right back to what— or who— got him grounded in the first place. He went back to Jeongguk. (Not that he ever actually stopped going to him during his grounding.)

   'Meet me at the pond.'

   That simple text had given Taehyung something to do the moment he woke up this Saturday. It distracted him from what otherwise would've been a moment of distraught upon realizing he was officially out of school and had absolutely no idea where to go from here. Jeongguk's honey voice had whispered him pretty words that built up a fantasy of a future spent happily together in his mind, but where would they go from here?

   Already overly uneasy from the biggest disruption in his routine that he'd ever had, Taehyung's stomach wove itself into knots while he got up and threw on something that looked half-decent and brushed his teeth, then planned a perfectly-timed mad dash for the front door that would allow him to leave the house without coming into any sort of contact with either of his parents. Not only would it be just as uncomfortable to see them as it had been for the whole past month, he worried that they'd be suspicious of him if they saw him leave the house all nervous and fidgety— as if it was due to him feeling guilty.

    But no, Taehyung had bigger things to worry about than the fact that his parents had told him not to see that boy; that they became angrier each time they saw him. Mainly, he was worrying that this might really be the last time he saw that boy. 

   If Jeongguk's brother had gotten to him again... If Jeongguk had thought twice about whatever he had going on with Taehyung and decided to move on; leave him in the past with his high school days... If, if, if... 

   Maybe he was overthinking— he knew he was prone to it— but that message sounded serious and borderline ominous. That's why his pace kept fluctuating, ranging from tiny and sluggish steps to near-sprinting; weighed down by dread yet desperate to be released from it sooner.

   He was breathless when the figure sitting, quietly staring into the pond, listlessly gripping a twig, came into view. Jeongguk looked up to greet him with a slight smile that eased his mind.

   A cold pang hit Taehyung's chest when he realized it was Saturday. The day Jeongguk used to take his dog for a walk to the pond.

   Slowing his pace, Taehyung approached him, sitting beside him and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Gesturing minimally toward the twig with a nod that said "I know"; with a silence that made room for listening.

   The words he was listening for took their time to spill from Jeongguk's lips, but they came. 

   "Y'know, Dakota was the only actual friend I had for so long. Honestly, I miss him so bad. And I think I always will. But... I've been thinking about this a lot, and... I got him because I was looking to fill the void that appeared when I stopped being friends with Sorah. And I stopped being friends with Sorah because I was afraid of what my brother said about me." He scratched nervously at the back of his neck. "I— I was afraid of myself. That I wasn't enough— that'd I'd... never be good enough for anyone." 

   "But," Jeongguk craned his head toward Taehyung with the gentlest hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. "I'm not so scared of that anymore." He paused, raking teeth over a delicate pink lip, flicking his head as he went on to admit, "Well— to be completely honest, yeah, I'm still scared. But you..."

   Jeongguk's voice trailed off and faded into the gentle noises of the pond; he grappled for the words to continue.

   "I?" Taehyung prompted.

   "You... like me." He chuckled. "I guess. Considering you kissed me. More than once. Well, I guess that—"

   "Gguk. Baby." That shut him up real quick. "I love you."

    After spending a speechless moment wide-eyed and open-mouthed, Jeongguk seemed to malfunction. Putting his hands over his cheeks before running them through his hair; whipping his head from side to side as if trying to determine if he was just hearing things.

   "Excuse me a moment," he uttered softly, then ran a fucking lap around the pond. And the lap ended with him tackling Taehyung (as tenderly as one ever could tackle another), toppling him over so his back pressed against cool green grass, and finally pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you too," he beamed; tone giddier than ever.

   Taehyung simply laughed, not knowing any other way to appreciate how much Jeongguk seemed to have let loose around him. How he seemed to trust him.

   Jeongguk soon let himself fall to Taehyung's side, sighing dreamily; soaking in the sun and the happy daze of a perfect moment. Then suddenly propping himself up on his elbow with a determined air.

   "So, we're graduated now."

   "Mhm."

   Pondering his next words for a moment, he twisted his lips. Hoping it'd come out right. Picking at blades of grass before he broke out at last with: "Tae, I want to do something crazy. Like, I'm talking the biggest, most impulsive decision of my life." He drew in a long breath. "...But I also want you to be there with me." Reconsidered it; rephrased: "Only if you'll be there with me."

   Taehyung's heart thumped; his stomach twisting, but in the nicest way possible: as if into a pretty little bow, not a knot. "What do you wanna do?" he asked.

   "Up and leave. Find a cheap apartment in the city and work our asses off till we can afford something better," he chuckled.

   "What about your family? Maybe not your brother, but your parents? You're sure you just want to leave them? I mean— if it weren't for recent events, I'd probably have a much harder time saying yes— which, by the way, is my answer, as long as you're sure."

   "They're nicer than yours, but we're not close. We never spent much time together." He sighed. "Unlike my brother, who they actually had time for, back before they started working more. Guess that's one of the reasons why I never felt like I was enough. Why I felt like my brother was so much better than me..." Jeongguk's face turned down along with his tone at the end. As if he hadn't quite stopped believing in his inferiority yet. 

   Just to remind him how incredibly "enough" he was, Taehyung swooped in to press his lips to Jeongguk's cheek; watched him go cherry-blossom pink, lips pressing together in flustered gratitude.  

    "So yes, I'm sure. And they're okay with it; I told them I was planning on it when I came out— OH— I meant to tell you that I came out to them yesterday," he chuckled nervously.

   Taehyung's eyes blew wide open. "You did?!"

   "Yeah, I... I decided not to let my brother's stupid teasing keep me from being who I am anymore," he revealed, bashful. Eyes on the ground. 

   Whoosh. Relief.  A frick-ton of it. Crashing over Taehyung like waves at high tide. Or a tsunami. "Oh my gosh— Ggukie, I'm so fucking proud of you." 

   He'd learned his lesson from Sorah. Taehyung's worst-case scenario overthinking had been wrong.

   "Well," his blush was only getting darker as he said, "It was partly 'cause of you. Like, mainly 'cause of you." He flicked his gaze upward, murmuring. "I want you to know you can trust me."

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤

IM SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BOOK AGAIN

the next chapter's mostly done; i was just gonna make both of them one chapter but it got longggg so i split it

i hope y'all enjoyed this one more than I did :/ just tryna push through these last few chapters here