For the Love of A Daughter

Chapter Two: Midnight Troubles

I'm sitting here at 2 in the morning and bored out of my mind. I don't get why there is a curfew, oh wait; yes I do! I'm 13 plus this place is so scary outside, and I wouldn't be shocked if I were to get shot. Just kidding; but seriously I'm living in the ghetto compared to where I used to live. Before all of this I lived in an apartment in the suburbs, the only thing we had to worry about was the neighbors yelling at us for having our music too loud. They were grumpy old people, but they weren't that bad. 

I need to stop thinking of the past and think about my future and present. After Charlotte left I ran upstairs and put on jean shorts and makeup on my wrists. I hate my legs but apperently that's my best feature and go back downstairs for a group shopping day. I got a cute orange sundress with matching silver sandals. My mom always said I look good in orange.

I take out my iPod and decide to look up information about Demi. It's weird thinking I have a sister nevermind having one that is a celebrity. The first thing that pops up is an album that's by her called Unbroken that came out last fall. I tap the first link which is a Wikipedia article. 

"Unbroken is the third studio album by American recording artist Demi Lovato, released on September 20, 2011, by Hollywood Records. Writing and recording for the album began as early as July 2010, but ended in late 2010 due to Lovato's rehabilitation. Production resumed in April 2011 after Lovato's treatment ended. Musically, Lovato has described the album as "more mature" and "a little more R&B/pop" than her previous material, quoting artists such as Rihanna and Keri Hilson as influences. While some of the album's lyrical content was heavily influenced by Lovato's personal struggles in late 2010, it also deals with lighter subjects, such as love, self empowerment and having fun."

I read the first two sentences thinking not much of it until I get to the word rehab. She went to rehab? For what, aren't all Disney stars perfect? Then again most of them become drunks and meth-addicts once they get out of the spotlight. If she is anything like normal ones then she probably did some interviews so I go onto my YouTube app and type it in. First thing that pops up is an interview she did on Good Morning America last year. 

I plug in my headphones so I don't wake up the other girls and watch it. At first I was just kind of like whatever; same old, same old. But then it got into the bullying, her eating disorder, and cutting. My heart stops and makes me feel sick. How could this happen to her? She is so beautiful! She is blonde now, but still she is beautiful. She is, she is skinny, I wonder what she was like before. I look up a picture and see it. She used to be so skinny, I wish that one day I could look like her either way. 

I then get an inspiration to write a poem. I do this a lot, it comes out of the blue and when I start, I really have a hard time stopping. I remember one time last summer I wrote for like 10 hours straight, all at night. Night is the best time of the day but also sometimes the most depressing. I cut a lot then but I'm trying to stop. It's been 24 hours and I tend to keep it that way. 

I then get a message from this girl Gerry from my school. It says, "You are such a bitch!" My heart stops as the typing animation is still going. No one likes you, go and die! 

I don't get why everyone is so mean to me, I haven't done anything to deserve this! It's always been this way. I type back, What did I do wrong

Almost immediatly she replies, You are alive! You are so fat and ugly, no wonder your father left you. Your mother should be happy now that she doesn't have to see you ugly face. I hope they beat you up in that place your staying at because this world doesn't need you. 

I quickly walk into the hallway and then the bathroom as I try not to cry. As soon as I do, I shut the door as my body helplesly releases millions of tears. I deserve this, because everything she said is true! I pretend to be strong all the time and give the I don't give a crap attitude but I really do, and always have! 

I then go into the dirty shower and find my razor. I take it out and place it on my wrist, I then lean, but not to hard because of what happened last time... Last time I didn't stop bleeding for an hour. It freaked me out, I almost had to tell someone because I thought I was going to bleed out and die. I didn't care if I were to die though, I just didn't want my life to go away because of that. 

Once I start I can't stop, when I'm done I have cutts up and down my arms. What if Demi sees these and thinks I'm too much to handle and ends up not adopting me... Or whatever is gonna happen... I can't stay here anymore! I then clean the blood around me and the stains on my arms. When I'm finished I go back into my room, through on an over the head hoodie, and go to sleep.