Winter Love || Bucky Barnes

1944: Denial

"You are going to marry him?" Bonnie exclaimed and hugged me fiercely. "That's so nice, Connie. Congratulations."

"Thanks. I can hardly believe it myself. It all happened so fast."

Bonnie shook her head. "I wish a man would look at me the way he looks at you.Steve has Peggy, you have Bucky. And I have no one."

"Don't say that, you'll find someone too. And it's going to be amazing. Otherwise you still have me."

"Yeah, right."

"Sorry, doll, I'm late," I heard a familiar voice behind me.

Bucky's arms wrapped around my waist from behind and he pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"You both are so cute," Bonnie said, grinning.

Bonnie looked at her watch. "Oh, I need to go. See you tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Yeah. See you tomorrow, Bon."

When Bonnie had left, Bucky turned me around and kissed me passionately.

Then he handed me a red rose. "Wow. That's beautiful. Thank you."

"Not as beautiful as you, doll."

I blushed.

"You look very handsome today, Mr. Barnes," I said, tugging his uniform straight.

He had to laugh. "I am full of dirt."

"You're always handsome. Even when you're dirty." I took his hand. "Maybe even more."

He raised his eyebrows with a grin. "Are you flirting with me, doll?"

"Maybe."

Bucky laughed again. "Well, you are very naughty, Mrs. Barnes."

"I'm not Mrs. Barnes yet," I reminded him.

"You will be."

"I know. I love you, James."

"I love you too, doll. That's why I have another present for you." He gave me a book. "The Hobbit? What's that? I've never heard of it."

"Read it. And when I'm back, we'll discuss it. It's my favorite book."

"Alright. Thank you. That's sweet."

I put the book and the rose on a table and looked at Bucky with shining eyes.

"I can't wait to become Connie Barnes."

He smiled. "You won't have to wait long, doll."

He pulled me closer and then his lips were on mine.

"James," I whispered when we parted.

His fingers brushed a strand of hair out of my face. Then he kisses me again. This time it was different. He was very gentle and affectionate.

When he took off his uniform, I looked at his muscular chest in amazement. He saw my gaze and grinned broadly at me. Then he pressed me against the wall and deepened the kiss. My heart was pounding. I wanted him so badly.

Suddenly, Bucky grabbed my leg and wrapped it around his hip. Slowly, he lifted me up and carried me to the bed.

***

After Bucky and Steve set off on their secret mission, I had a lot of time to myself. There weren't many injured people at the moment, so I was able to go home after an hour every day. I made good use of this time to read the book that Bucky had given me. It was really exciting and I couldn't put it down. I also met up with Bonnie a lot. We talked a lot about men and even managed to organize a date for her. His name was Eric and after a short time their meetings became more frequent. I was happy for her. She had finally found someone who suited her.But I was starting to miss Bucky incredibly.

Then finally the time had come for them to return. I walked impatiently to the main square to greet the two of them. When I heard the familiar sound of the engines, my heart began to beat faster. In a short time, I would marry Bucky. I would really marry him. A wide grin appeared on my face.

Finally, the first jeeps appeared. When I saw Steve, I immediately ran to him, but he looked kind of sad. "Steve? What's wrong?"

"Connie, we should go in."

"No. Tell me what's wrong. Now."

Steve put his hand on my shoulder. "Bucky, he..."

"No." I pushed him away. "No."

My legs were shaking.

"I tried to save him but I couldn't."

"No," I sobbed and fell to the ground. "It can't be over, Steve. I can't do it without him."

"I know it's going to be hard but we will get through this. Together." He put his hand on my shoulder again, but I pushed it away.

I knew he had lost Bucky too, but I still wanted to be alone now.

"Just leave me alone," I snapped.

"But Connie..."

"I said leave me alone! Go away!"

Then I turned my back to him and continued crying.

I stared for hours at the sky, which was getting darker and darker. The cold had already taken possession of my body and I was shivering like crazy. But nothing could stop me from sitting here.

"Connie, come on. You need to come in. It's too cold."

I looked up and saw Bonnie.

"No. I'm waiting for him. I won't give up. He will come. He will come and then we are going to marry each other. We will be happy and we will raise our child together."

"You're pregnant?" I heard Steve's voice behind me. I nodded with tears in the eyes.

"I found out last night. That's why I need him even more."

Steve put a blanket around my shoulders. I smiled gratefully at him. "Sorry I was so mean. You lost him too."

He sat down next to me and took me into his arms.

"How?"

"We were on a train. There was a fight. Bucky fell into the depths. He couldn't hold on."

Tears ran down my cheeks. "But maybe he survived the fall. Maybe he is alive."

"Connie, you have to face the truth," Bonnie added. "Even if it's hard."

I knew she was right, but it was still far too difficult.

***

Bucky and I got on a train. He looked at me with a smile as we sat down in our compartment. "You're beautiful, doll."

A man came running towards us with a small notebook in his hand. "Connie. Do you want to take James Buchanan Barnes to your husband?" "I do," I said happily.

"And James, do you take Connie to be your wife."

Bucky took my hand. "Yes, I..."

Suddenly the train split apart and a huge gap opened up beneath us. Bucky slid down, just barely holding onto my hand. "Don't let go," I shouted desperately, trying to pull him up.

"I love you, doll."

He let go.

"Nooo," I screamed and...

***

I woke up drenched in sweat. My hands were shaking like crazy.

"James," I sobbed, burying my head in the pillow. "I need you. Come back to me. Please."

Because it was the middle of the night, I tried to sleep again but it didn't work. I decided to go for a walk. I threw a blanket over me and quietly left the house. I ran until I no longer knew where I was. I looked around questioningly when I saw a man. I cautiously walked towards him. "Excuse me. Can you tell me where I am?" The man stared at me for a moment. Then he pulled something out of his bag. When I realized what it was, the syringe with a green liquid had already been injected into my arm. My eyes grew heavy and suddenly everything went black.