SKELETOON REVIEW [CLOSE]

A FICTITIOUS REALITY

Hi, SilverPriestess_ this is Critic Skeletoon again,
I would like to kindly remind you that while I have a sincere passion for reading, I must acknowledge that I am not professionally trained or exceptionally gifted in writing. However, I am committed to offering my honest opinions and insights. It is important to note that my suggestions are based solely on my perspective and understanding. I recognize that I may overlook certain flaws or fail to meet your expectations. Ultimately, the decision to heed my advice rests entirely with you.

Let's begin! 🎊

TITLE OF THE STORY
A Fictitious Reality

The title hits fantasy to me. It may not be an attractive or a head-turner title, but it is decent for me. As a reader, I had a bit of an 'oh' factor for the title. It may not have a 'wow' factor like 'The Court of Thorns and Roses,' by Sarah J. Maas, but there's a subtle magic in its simplicity that resonates with me. It's like stumbling upon a hidden gem, an oxymoron that whispers of both fiction and reality. There's an 'oh' moment, a curious tug that invites exploration. It beckons with a gentle curiosity, as if saying, 'Come, dear reader, there's a delightful surprise awaiting within these pages. Take a chance on me.'

BLURB OF THE STORY

[Orignal Blurb]

Anthony Carson, a fiction writer, seeks the approval of his agent. He went on a journey to find inspiration for his new story, but what he discovered was far more far-stretched than any other fictional being he had ever written strange cat who can transform into a drop-dead gorgeous man.

For the sake of making fiction, he adopted the cat only to mess up his reality into CATastrophic fiction!

Cats chasing him with guns on hand plus weird animals wanting to kill him, now he'd gotten a reality only encountered in fiction!

And what's even weirder is the thing he's feeling to the furry fellow living with him.

A question arose;

How well can a writer face his reality?

***
In contemplating the blurb, I implore for its reconstruction. Regrettably, I find it wanting. My disappointment stems from its dearth of intrigue and curiosity. The blurb's simplicity falls short of expectations, and its arrangement of information lacks coherence. While the introduction of the main characters suffices, the delivery lacks finesse, thus detracting from its allure and rendering it uninspiring. I acknowledge the necessity of incorporating the three essential elements to provide context and entice the reader's interest. Nonetheless, while relevant information is present, its delivery and expression are lacking, leading to ineffective communication.

[Suggested Blurbs]

(1)
Anthony Carson, a struggling writer, encounters a mysterious cat who morphs into a captivating man, igniting his creativity but wreaking havoc on his life. Adopting the magical feline for inspiration, Anthony finds his once orderly world turned upside down by guns, action, and unexpected romance. As fiction blurs into reality, can Anthony balance his schedule, and navigate this newfound reality, or will his heart meow louder than his deadlines?

Or

(2)
Anthony Carson, a frustrated fiction writer, will stop at nothing for his agent's approval. But when he stumbles upon a cat who morphs into a stunning man, his passion reignites, fueling a cascade of plot ideas. Adopting the magical feline for inspiration, Anthony's life spirals into chaos as his story takes on a life of its own, blending action, romance, and unexpected twists. Can Anthony navigate this newfound reality, or will his heart meow louder than his deadlines?

GRAMMAR AND TECHNICALITIES

Your novel demonstrates an exceptional adherence to grammatical and technical standards, with an accuracy rate of approximately 95%. While minor errors may occasionally surface, they remain tolerable given their technical correctness; however, instances of grammatical imprecision are noted. Considering the predominant utilization of descriptive grammar throughout the ten chapters, such deviations are deemed acceptable. In addition, I find the construction of the grammar to be coherent and easy to follow. Moreover, your articulation in English is proficient, enabling the identification of errors effectively. Your commitment to maintaining clarity in the narrative is commendable. While there are occasional descriptions that could benefit from reconstruction for creative enhancement, the overall coherence aligns well with the story's context. I commend your efforts in this regard.

STORY STRUCTURE AND PLOT

Firstly, I must commend your adept construction of the story's framework and the engaging concept of an author intertwined with a magical cat—a commendable choice. However, I regret to express a significant concern regarding the plot's execution. It is my perspective, and I hope you receive it with an open mind. The issue lies not with the story's structure, which remains sound, but rather in its delivery. Your focus on vivid description, while undoubtedly skillful, has overshadowed the crucial element of evoking emotion within the narrative. Your prowess in imagery is admirable, yet it falls short of fostering a connection that allows readers to empathize with the characters. Initially captivating, the story's allure diminishes steadily, resembling a dry recitation rather than a captivating journey. Regrettably, beyond the third chapter, the narrative becomes arduous to follow, losing its initial charm and resembling a mundane chore rather than an enchanting escape. Despite my earnest desire to immerse myself in your fantastical world, I find myself unable to fully engage. I offer this feedback with the utmost respect and hope it serves to enhance your storytelling prowess.

WRITING STYLE

I wanted to share some thoughts on your writing style. Firstly, I think you're doing a great job! There's always room to grow, and I see loads of potential in your work. Your English skills are impressive, and your descriptive writing is definitely a strength. However, I believe focusing more on evoking emotions rather than just describing scenes could take your storytelling to the next level. Consider how you can truly engage and captivate your readers throughout your narrative. Remember, it's not just about satisfying yourself as a writer; it's about forging a connection with your audience. Keep revisiting your story, and exploring opportunities for enhancement, and I'm sure you'll see fantastic progress. Keep up the good work!

STRENGTHS OF THE STORY
1. DESCRIPTIVE WRITING/ You have a knack for describing things.
2. The idea of the story itself.

WEAKNESSES OF THE STORY
1. UNEXPECTED CUTS/SEQUENCES- Please refrain from abruptly transitioning to a different scenario within a single chapter, as it can be disorienting for the reader. Occasionally, such sudden shifts may prompt a reader to pause and question the narrative progression. This issue is particularly pronounced when employing a third-person narrative perspective. Unless executed with finesse and precision, these abrupt cuts can disrupt the flow of the story and significantly diminish reader engagement. Therefore, it's essential to ensure a seamless and cohesive transition between scenes to maintain the reader's immersion and enjoyment of the narrative.

2. CONTENT/STORYTELLING - The content is adequate, yet insufficient to captivate sustained interest. While your linguistic prowess is commendable, mastering the delicate art of storytelling is imperative. The framework and concept possess potential, but their execution falls short. I urge you to revisit the narrative from a reader's perspective, detached from your role as an author, to grasp the shortcomings and opportunities for improvement.

Skeletoon Note:
Dear, SilverPriestess_, I hope this feedback will reach you with an open mind and great manner. You will notice that I give the feedback as a whole rather than pointing out the errors in every chapter. I decided to do it this way because it will take a lot of time to do it. I hope this will help you improve your story in a great manner.