SKELETOON REVIEW [CLOSE]

SO, IT'S YOU

Hi, CalysLee, this is Skeletoon again, I would like to kindly remind you that while I have a sincere passion for reading, I must acknowledge that I am not professionally trained or exceptionally gifted in writing. However, I am committed to offering my honest opinions and insights. It is important to note that my suggestions are based solely on my perspective and understanding. I recognize that I may overlook certain flaws or fail to meet your expectations. Ultimately, the decision to heed my advice rests entirely with you.

TITLE
Your title tickles me. It stirs something deep inside me. I'm not sure if this feeling is good or bad, but I do find it visually, and emotionally appealing. Its simple charm, though not flashy, really resonates with me. It feels like an unexpected answer to a long search, showing that what you've been looking for was always close by. This makes me smile and gets me curious. Maybe it's because I've been doing a lot of thinking, or perhaps it's influenced by my thoughts on playing matchmaker in my sister's love story. Either way, this emotion has given me a fresh perspective on your title. I simply like it.

BLURB
Your story description shows promise but could be more engaging with some revision. Consider trimming unnecessary details and aiming to captivate the reader's interest without revealing too much. Just by reading your blurb, I could grasp the storyline's flow.

SUGGESTED BLURB
In the midst of the overwhelming stress of being a high school teacher, constantly targeted by a tyrannical boss, a glimmer of hope came from a crush on a colleague, Jiro Elizalde. Believing there was something special between them, Kia's world crumbles when Jiro's true nature is revealed as he flirts with a new co-teacher and uses her for his own gain.

Devastated and on the brink of resignation, Kia's long-time best friend, Zephyrus Dechavez, returns, helping to restore her self-esteem and reignite her appreciation for life. As she heals, old feelings for Zephyrus resurface, but loving him means facing the painful reality that she may end up hurt once more.

PLOT
Zeph and Kia's story is similar to enjoying a cup of tea on a misty morning. It strikes a perfect balance—not too profound, yet not too superficial—achieving an ideal blend. Moreover, the characters are meticulously sculpted and crafted, their personas clearly defined, and their voices distinctly unique. This completes the proper blend of the story for me. I like how you built the cringed story between Kia and Jiro blended with the work issues and settings and also how you ended it. It gives the lens of the issues and conspiracy in the workplace in the real world. This also happened to my sister coincidentally. The strong end between Kira and Jiro at the L'espresso while Zeph is their witness is commendable, it sounds like a gesture or a clue for the reader that Kia and Zeph will soon upgrade their relationships not just as best friends but as a lover. I also acknowledge how you inserted Zeph's backstory from Kia's perspective, which makes it more captivating. The wrap-up also was decent, allowing Jiro and Kia to settle their conflict that letting Kia and Zeph communicate and fix their relationship.

WRITING STYLE, TECHNICALITIES & SETTINGS
Your story has a weak start. It is not effective as a reader catcher, it is a bit cringing or awkward. Your writing could be improved if it were more direct, especially in the first paragraph. I didn't like that part. However, I commend your unique writing style. It's less formal, yet you manage to do justice to your story. Your descriptive narration effectively conveys emotion, vividly describes settings and more. Keep it up! Despite this, I recommend re-reading your manuscript due to some technical issues. There are a few grammatical and typographical errors, such as incorrect spelling, spacing issues, missing verbs, and missing tags. These issues appear after chapter three. While the text remains readable, a thorough review is necessary.

STRENGTH AND WEAKNESSES
SIMPLICITY. While I find the simplicity of your story alluring, I also consider it its primary weakness. As a reader, this simplicity is a double-edged sword for me. I understand that you’ve effectively blended romance and work, maintaining a decent flow without twists or turns. Don't get me wrong—I don't dislike it. I appreciate knowing that Zeph and Kia will end up together, and I value the assurance of a happily-ever-after ending. That's why I compare it to a well-blended coffee. However, not everyone likes coffee the same way; some prefer it bitter, others sweet, and some dark. Preferences vary. This might be not a Chef's kiss, but regardless of what others might say, I enjoy this type of coffee. It's good for the heart and lifts the mood.

Skeletoon note:
Dear CalysLee, thank you for patiently waiting, I hope this feedback will reach you with an open mind and great manner and I hope this will also help you improve your writing.