SKELETOON REVIEW [CLOSE]

ANG TANAMAKYA

Hi, jlrescel I would like to kindly remind you that while I have a sincere passion for reading, I must acknowledge that I am not professionally trained or exceptionally gifted in writing. However, I am committed to offering my honest opinions and insights. It is important to note that my suggestions are based solely on my perspective and understanding. I recognize that I may overlook certain flaws or fail to meet your expectations. Ultimately, the decision to heed my advice rests entirely with you.

TITLE
For a fantasy genre, your title indeed carries a unique essence that can pique a reader’s interest, and I find myself intrigued by how you arrived at it. Perhaps it reflects the story’s connection to mythical creatures. However, while the distinctiveness of your title is a notable strength, it lacks the immediate marketability that more trend-driven titles often possess. Titles like 'Discovery of the Witch' or 'The Lightning Thief' are effective because they capture attention instantly. 'Ang Tanamakya,' though decent and fitting for your work, doesn’t offer that immediate hook. Nevertheless, I appreciate the originality and the way it aligns with the imaginative world you've crafted. It’s a bold choice that reflects the unique creature you've brought to life through your story, and for that, I commend you.

BLURB
This part is delicately made. I rest my opinion.

PLOT
I appreciate how you begin the story, skillfully engaging the reader's senses while effectively bringing the action and scenarios to life. Your narration has a vivid quality that allows me to immerse myself in the world you've created. The foundation of the plot is solid, yet there is room for improvement, particularly in the sequencing of events. While it's difficult to pinpoint specific areas for enhancement given that the story is still unfolding, I would suggest refining the transitions between chapters. The opening chapter, 'Simula,' and Chapter One are well done, but subsequent chapters could benefit from more polish.

The first chapter, depicting Elias's unsettling experiences that blur the line between dreams and reality, intriguingly introduces the Tanamakya. Initially, I perceived the Tanamakya as merely a villain, but you cleverly positioned him as a reluctant harbinger of death—an interesting twist that adds depth to his character. The initial encounter between Elias and the Tanamakya is thrilling and well-executed, particularly with the subtle humor around his weakness.

On the other hand, Elle's narrative, focusing on her family struggles, is poignant but could benefit from more dialogue to deepen the emotional impact. While the chapters are well-crafted, and the emotions effectively conveyed, there is potential to enrich Elle's perspective as both a daughter and an older sister. Elias and Elle share a common thread—they are both forced to mature due to the demands of their circumstances. It almost feels as though Elle created Elias's story as a projection of her fears, fantasies, hopes, and silent prayers, particularly her desire to alleviate her father's pain through her storytelling.

However, as the story progresses, I find myself wanting more—a bit more complexity or unexpected elements. Perhaps this sense of wanting more is due to the story just beginning, but I encourage you to consider adding additional layers as the narrative unfolds.

WRITING STYLE AND TECHNICALITIES
While the plot is solid, what truly captivates me is your writing style. Your ability to intricately weave words to express your characters' emotions and meticulously describe the worlds of Elle and Elias is commendable. It’s this unique style that shifts my perspective, allowing me to overlook some of the technical shortcomings in your work. There are sections where the phrasing or structure could be refined and a few instances of misspelled words. However, your narrative voice is so engaging that it draws my attention away from these issues, making them less noticeable until a closer read.

SETTINGS
It is too early for me to give an accurate review of your settings, four chapters are too short for it. For now, I will only suggest that you will become more careful about it. I am looking forward to it.

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
The primary strength of your work lies in your distinctive writing style. Beyond that, it's challenging to provide a comprehensive critique, as your story is still in its early stages. As for identifying weaknesses, it's premature to do so without seeing more of the narrative unfold. With at least fifteen chapters, I might be able to pinpoint areas for improvement as well as additional strengths. However, it would be unfair and short-sighted to make any definitive judgments based solely on the initial chapters.

Skeletoon note:
Hi jlrescel, to be honest I am reluctant to accept your novel because of the number of chapters, but because your title intrigues me, I accepted it. I apologize for the delay and I am sorry if the review was a bit short. Kung marami lang sana ang kabanata o kung mahaba lang sana ang mga kabanata, siguro... marahil... baka... kaya pa kitang bigyan ng mas detalyadong kritiko. Ikinalulungkot ko.

I hope this feedback will reach you with an open mind and great manner and I hope this will also help you improve your writing.