Behind The Glass Door

Chapter 9

Lacy:

---

It had been at least a week since Ruby died.

And a week since our group stopped talking to Riley. I didn't want them to but they did it anyway.

I stopped counting days, doing homework, studying, trying in class, and trying my best to dance, I gave up everything.

Val was nice to have around, she kept me distracted.

I sat alone in my dorm, staring at my surroundings and waiting for something to happen, looking at the makeup that splayed out on the top of my desk.

I got out of bed and sat at my desk, staring down at the makeup and suddenly slouching, laying my elbows on the table and resting my head in my hands, running my fingers through my dirty hair.

I heard a ringtone, the upbeat flowy music that was my Mom's ringtone. I reached over and picked up the FaceTime.

"Hi honey, how are you?" she asked, knowing what happened, knowing what I saw.

"I'm- I'm doing good, yeah I'm good," I slurred out.

"Have you been taking things you shouldn't?" she asked concerned.

"No, Mom, I don't do that stuff," I mumbled.

"Good," she said, "Are you sure you're okay? You look tired," she said worriedly.

"Thanks, Mom," I sighed.

"No not because you don't have makeup on, you just look drained," she said.

"I am," I sighed again.

"Take a shower and get some sleep, okay?" she asked.

"Alright," I nodded.

"Okay, bye I love you," she said, hanging up.

I sighed once again and got up, getting my shower caddy, towel, and flip-flops before leaving my room and making my way to the showers.

No one else was in there so I grabbed the biggest stall and closed the door, setting down my shower caddy and hanging my towel up before pulling the curtain open and going to turn the shower on.

I got out of my clothes and stepped under the warm water, pulling the curtain shut and sighing.

I made my shower as quick as I could, getting out once I washed my hair and body. I dried myself off, putting my clothes back on before I heard footsteps stumble in.

"I don't think anyone's here," I heard a familiar voice whisper.

My voice sank once the British accent hit my ears. I didn't know what to do, to step out or to stay quiet, 'cause either way 'I don't think anyone's here,' is never good.

I heard heavy breathing and steps falling messily past the stall door a few down from mine. My body tensed.

Heavy panting was cut off, the sounds of muffled moans in my ears. I squinted my eyes shut tight, trying to block it out.

"Rie," Val whispered.

I froze, my whole body circulation stopping when the name came out of her lips, shaking my head in disbelief.

"What?" Riley's voice rang softly in my ears.

"Can we just talk-" Val breathed heavily.

"I thought we talked about it?" Riley's voice was calm.

"No, about Lacy," she sighed.

I squinted my eyes in hopes of not crying, my nails digging into my palms.

"You just killed my lady boner," Riley's voice was irritated, sighing.

"You can't be so rude to her all the time," Val said, raising her voice the slightest.

"I can and I will," Riley scoffed.

"You can't, she's a nice person and she went through a lot last week, you know that," Val's voice was softer.

"Okay yeah I get it but I just don't like her," Riley sighed.

"I know, but sometimes I don't like you and I'm still friendly to you," she said.

"When do you not like me?" Riley chuckled.

"A lot of times," Val laughed, "But that's not the point, just try to be nice, please?" Val asked.

"Fine," Riley hummed, the sound of sloppy kissing filling my ears again.

I inhaled sharply and silently unlocked my door before loudly opening it and closing it loudly again, locking it and turning on the water, hoping that they'd stop.

All sounds stopped and I heard the door open again, footsteps leaving.

"So...what'd you hear?" Val said from the few stalls down.

I didn't reply, I just stood still, a small squeak coming out of my mouth.

I turned off the water and sat on the bench in the changing part of the stall.

Anxiety filled my body, I didn't wanna reply to her, I couldn't, my voice was weak and gone. It felt like someone punched the wind out of my lungs.

"Lace I know you're in there I can see your flip flops," Val spoke.

I shuddered, my ears rang and I couldn't hear anything but that, feeling my vision go blurry, fading into solid black even though my eyes were open before the noise just stopped.

****

"Lacy" a voice lingered, one that sent shivers down my spine.

I whipped my head around in the familiar ballet room. Tall ceilings, wooden barres, and big mirrors.

"We have to work on your legs darling," the small Russian accent stung through my ears.

My breath hitched in my throat, clutching the barre that was in front of me. I shook my head, squinting my eyes so that I wouldn't have to relive it again.

Strong rough hands gripped my hips, pulling me harshly and carelessly to face the mirror only to see Jacob standing behind me, hands digging into my waist.

"Look at you," his breath whispered harshly in my ear, "How pathetic are you? Your thighs are simply hideous," he harshly said.

I sucked in a breath, the mental pain taking over my whole body. It ached, it burned, it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced.

"You try and cover it with makeup, don't you?" he chuckled.

His hands were roughly pressed against my core, and a sob came from my mouth.

"The red blotchiness of your face, your skin, all the places that I touched you," he whispered.

"You tried to scrub my touch away, scrubbing your skin raw, but my touch still lingers,"

He brought his hand to my stomach, slowly pushing it down the waistband of my tights.

"Please, please not again," I sobbed.

"You can't escape me, darling," he laughed manically, "No matter how hard you try, how much therapy you go to, how many years pass," he paused, "I will always haunt you," he laughed at me.

His hand slapped against my behind, harshly, making me yelp.

"I'll haunt you where the scars on your inner thighs lay. Every single time you wear a swimsuit or shorts, or you're simply in your underwear, you'll always see those and be reminded of me," he smiled.

"You," I shuddered, teeth clenched, "Are a monster," I cried.

"No you are," he spoke harshly, a smack sent across my cheek, making me yelp.

"You are the monster, Lacy!" he yelled, "You're a hideous monster!" he screamed in my face. The tears stopped and my eyes widened. "No one will ever want to date you because of your scars, which aren't only on your legs but on your wrists," he spoke, harshly grabbing my wrist and twisting it.

"And your thighs are awful, boys don't like that," he grimaced at me, "No one wants to deal with your scars, they're all ugly, the physical ones,"

"But the ugliest of them all are the mental scars," his voice echoed.