amor's glow (jianxin)

SPECIAL CHAPTER II

⊹˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

YACHT.

7:30 PM.

"Alam mo, sweetie, mas naaawa ako kay Xin. Biruin mo, six years kang nawala at naghirap tapos pagbalik mo, marami nang nagbago sa taong mahal mo? Masakit kaya 'yun,"

"Yeah, but don't disregard Jian's pain too. As of now, I am with Jian's side. I understand where he is coming from, and Xin should deal with it."

"Pero kasi, Xin is trying his best to prove himself to Jian again, pero mukhang nakasarado na ang puso ni Jian. And fyi, I'm not disregarding his feeling, ang sinasabi ko lang, grabeng pain ang inabot ni Xin, to the point na umabot na sa puntong akala natin ay patay na siya. Hindi naman niya ginusto 'yon."

"Hindi rin naman ginusto ni Jian 'yon, pero 'yung sakit, natural 'yong lumabas at hindi 'yon naging madali kay Jian, sweetie. Your friend has been through a lot as well. Mental torture became the consequence of knowing Xin's death. The moment he knew that Xin died, was the moment he lost his faith already - that's his death as well. Xin endured his pain, and stayed hopeful that he would see Jian soon. While, Jian endured his pain, and felt hopeless that he would never see Xin again. See the difference?"

Xinner lays his back against the yacht's wall, his eyes shut tightly as Yuan's words hit him like a ton of bricks. They're currently oblivious of his presence because they thought everyone was inside the yacht's luxurious in. Xin couldn't help but listen to the couple's sudden conversation about him and Jian. He couldn't help but feel sorry hearing his friends deeply talking about their pain.

"Naiintidihan ko na, sweetie. Pero sa tingin mo? Matatanggap pa kaya ni Jian si Xin?"

"Hmm. Ikaw ba? What do you think?"

"Ba't mo binabalik sa akin ang tanong!?"

"E-eh kasi you've been a friend to Jianuary for longer than I have been. Alam mo kung paano siya mag-isip, at isa pa, mas kilala mo ang pagmamahal niya kay Jian, sweetie, don't glare at me like that!"

"Honestly, I don't know. Jian hides his real emotions ever since then. Nung bumalik si Xin, umakto siyang masaya siya, pero alam mo 'yun? Nakikita namin kung gaano ka-peke ang mga ngiti niya. 'Yung mga mata niya, halatang galing sa pag-iyak. Actually, naiitindihan ko naman talaga siya e. Naiintidihan ko kung bakit parang hirap siyang maging masaya ulit kahit nakabalik pa si Xin. Siguro ay bumabalik 'yung mga alaala ng sakit na naramdaman niya sa anim na taon na 'yon. Siguro tama ka, sweetie, hindi natin alam kung anong sakit ang naranasan ni Jian, kahit ang totoo naman niyan ay nabantayan natin siya. Naiintidihan ko na kung bakit parang hindi pinakita sa atin ni Jian ay mga pag-iyak niya, kinimkim niya lahat ng iyon at sinubukang mabuhay kahit sobrang sakit. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, wala akong kwentang kaibigan... dahil hindi ko man lang naisip na mag-isang hinarap ni Jian lahat ng sakit at ngayon ay nahihirapan siyang harapin ulit ang mga iyon..."

"Don't think that way. You were also right about Xin. He was in pain too. Xin never wished to be declared dead. He was tortured and restricted to freedom for years. He was alone. He carried everything and endured the years in darkness. At nung nakalaya naman siya, kinailagan niyang ipagamot ang sarili niya, dahil alam niyang hindi nag-iisa ang personalidad na meron siya. Kahit miss na miss na niya si Jian, pinigilan niyang ipakita ang sarili niya dahil wala pa siyang napapatunayan. Jian is too far and high for Xin. Xin tried his best to build his own empire and earn his own money, while carrying the responsibility of his mother's business. Sinubukan niyang pantayan si Jian kahit alam niyang mataas ito, at nung napantayan naman niya, hindi na siya nito... kinikilala kagaya nung dati..."