I can't love him. - Johnnyboy

chapter 1 - meeting you

"Ponyboy, go outside. Quit readin'." I hear Darry call, making sure I got my daily dose of sun. I sigh, but obey to Darry's rules. I stood up from my bed and walked out of the room, pulling my shoes on as soon as I reached the front door. "Okay. I'm goin' to Dairy Queen, y'all need anything?" I ask, making sure I have money in my pocket.

"No, I'm good." I hear Sodapop say from the kitchen. I bit my lip and nodded, opening the door and walking out.

The weather was really nice today, I thought. I smiled to myself and started wandering off alone in the streets, finding the way to Dairy Queen.

But, of course, I end up bumping into someone. We both fell onto our backs.

"Gosh, I'm sorry," I said, getting up, and holding my hand out for the boy.

"Thanks," he said. His voice was quiet and sweet. I nodded and smiled weakly. He stood up and smiled at me. "Hey, I've seen you around before. At school. . ." He said, trailing off. I tilted my head and furrowed my eyebrows. "Oh, yeah? What's your name?" He bit his lip and picked his wallet up. "Johnny Cade. You're the kid with the weird name, aren't you?" I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, that's me. Ponyboy Curtis." We shook hands and he giggled.

"You must get bugged by your name daily, huh?" I scoff and nod. "More than you think. I don't think I've seen you around, though." I said, almost as if it were a question than more of a statement. "Yeah, I guess I'm pretty quiet at school. . . I mean, I failed a year, so I just decided to not go anymore. Where you headed?" He said, his eyes becoming a honey brown from the sunlight. "Dairy Queen, you?"

"Hey, I just got back from there!" He said, chuckling. I giggled and nodded. "See you around, Johnny," I said, starting to walk away, but he grabbed me by the arm. "Could I come with you? I mean, I know I just went but I don't have anything else to do. . ."

I smiled and shrugged. "I don't see why not." He smiled and started walking with me. "Don't you got a brother named after a drink, or something?" I chuckled. "Yep. Sodapop. Weird, isn't it?" I said, looking at him. "I guess so."

We stayed silent for a minute after that. The wind was blowing in his hair - he was pretty handsome. Though, I don't like boys - I mean, who would? That's gross, but he's pretty good looking. I bit my lip and shook my thoughts away as we arrived at Dairy Queen.

"You going to get anything?" I asked, opening the door for him. "Probably just a coke." I nodded.

He sat down at a booth as I ordered myself a barbeque sandwich and a pepsi.

"You like those?" Johnny asked, as I sat down with my food.

"The sandwiches?"
"Yes,"
"Yeah, why?"

He made a disgusted face and giggled. "Those are gross." I rolled my eyes and smirked as I took a bite. "Mm, so good." I said, teasingly. "Ugh, how could you eat that?"

"How couldn't you?"

He laughed and looked around. He stood up and tapped my shoulder. "I'm going to get a coke, don't run away, alright?" He spoke softly. I nodded.

He was a pretty cool kid. Charming, too.

Not in a weird way, though.

He just seems real charming once you meet him. That makes sense, right?

He walked away and went to go order a coke. I was left alone with my food. I finished my barbeque sandwich and downed my pepsi, nearly chugging it. I set it down and yawned. Johnny came back, smirking.

"That girl over there is cute," He whispered, motioning over to the cashier. I felt a wave of jealousy crash over my body - but, why?

I had literally just met him. Maybe I liked the girl. I mean, she was cute. Maybe that's it. I smiled and nodded. "Yeah," I said, smiling.

Why can't people think 𝘐'𝘮 cute?

I nearly scoffed at my own thoughts.

"You gonna ask her out?" I asked. He kind of giggled. "No, I say that about everyone."

Maybe he 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 think I'm cute.

Why am I thinking this way? This is wrong.

Boys can't love boys, and I'm sure as hell they won't. It's really gross. Maybe I'm just hitting puberty or something. I bit my lip and looked around.

"I should get going, I'll see you around, kid." I almost frowned but decided that I shouldn't. "Alright, see you around. Wanna meet me here again on wednesday?"

He shrugged and stood up, grabbing his coke. "Sure, if I'm not busy. Bye, Pony."
I waved as he left.

Why was I thinking like that? Why am I like this? Well, surely everyone has those kinds of thoughts. How couldn't they?

Wait,

how could I?