Cognizant

Chapter 47

Tris' POV:

I stare at Peter.

I can't believe this is happening.

Peter begins to walk foreword, out if the shadows. I take a step back and he takes one foreword.

"Tris, are you okay?" Peter asks me, a look of genuine concern on his face.

I stop.

Why is Peter, of all people, being nice to me?

Then it hits me.

Peter took the memory serum.

I breathe in relief and walk towards him.

"Nothing," I sigh, answering his question.

I sit down at the edge of the chasm and dangle my feet off.

Peter sits next to me, doing likewise.

"Peter, why are you here?" I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"I had to find out who I was before I, you know, erased myself." He looks down at his feet.

"Do you ever regret your decision?"

"Sometimes, but I always tell myself that it was for the better and that I needed to recreate myself," he replies.

"Sometimes I think about my choice," I sigh. "Sometimes I think that maybe if I had just stayed Abnegation, things would be better off. People would not have died because of me. Will and Al would still be here. But then I think of all the fun memories at Dauntless and all the people I have met and it sort of masks the guilt. But it always comes back."

I look up at Peter. His eyebrows are drawn in, like he's concentrating on what I was saying.

He nods, then replies, "Sometimes you have to live in the present and not worry about the past or the future. You can't control what's going to happen later on or what already happened so why worry about it?"

I take in everything he says.

"Thank you, Peter," I say, standing up. "That was actually, kinda helpful." I smile a little.

"Anytime. Oh and Tris," he says as I begin to walk away,"I'm sorry, for everything I did during initiation."

I just nod my head and turn the corner, happy that I made it past the chasm alive.

>>>

The next day, Christina, Shauna, Cara, and I go shopping for bridal dresses.

We all end up finding something we love- even me, as stubborn as I can be with shopping.

"Guys, I'm gonna head home. Four wants to spend the day with me," I tell them. They bid me goodbye and I walk back to the apartment.

>>>

The rest of the day, Tobias and I rode the train, had dinner together, and played a card game.

"I'm exhausted," I tell Tobias once we finish our game.

"Me, too," he replies. We go into the bedroom and I grab my clothes and change in the bathroom.

I come back into my bedroom but notice Tobias isn't there. I walk out and see he is unfolding a blanket on the couch.

"Tobias, what are you doing?" I ask him.

He sets the blanket down and walk up the me. He gently plays with my hair.

"Look, I thought that...since what I said last night-" Tobias begins but I cut him off.

"Tobias, we talked about this. I'm fine. You're fine. We're fine."

He shakes his head.

"Tris, I'm just gonna sleep out here tonight, okay? And please, lock the bedroom door." I can see that staying away from me tears him apart but I know I won't win so I kiss him before retreating into the bedroom for the night.

>>>

I'm tied in a metal chair.

I try to break free but I can't.

The room is pitch black and there are no other signs of life in the room.

I start to move around in the chair when a bright light is turned on in front of me.

In that light, I see a middle aged woman standing there. She has blonde hair and a syringe in her hand.

Jeanine.

I struggle more. I need to get out of here.

"Beatrice," she says, her voice soft, "this will only hurt more if you fight me."

With that she begins to walk towards me, syringe ready.

"No," I say out loud, "Don't touch me!" I yell at her.

But she only moves closer.

She reaches out her arm and the needle breaks into my skin...

I sit up, breathing heavily.

It was only a nightmare.

I look beside me, expecting Tobias to be there to comfort me, but I realize I'm alone.

I remind myself that he slept on the couch and do my best to calm myself.

I lay back down and struggle to fall asleep, knowing that I will be unable to keep my eyes closed without Tobias strong arms protecting me.
__________________________

Hello everyone!

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