Serena

12-Uneasy

There are days when I mostly give the middle finger to the world and its people but there are days when their words get stuck in my brain and that completely changes my mood.

I have always wondered why we believe every bad thing that is said to us. Why don't we acknowledge the compliments given to us? Why do we always have to remember the bad ones?

I don't believe Gemma when she says how lucky she is to have a friend like me. But I immediately believe those heartbreaking things mainly done by my own family.

At first I would get hurt by those actions but after a while I learned to live with them. Or so I thought.

Because why did it hurt me when my brother called me a brat for not greeting Ronan. Why does it still hurt when they don't bother to ask why I behave that way?

I thought I had overcome this. I thought that I made it. That their actions didn't bother me anymore. I was wrong yet again.

I would rather be hurt by others than my family. Because when you are hurt by the ones you love the most, that is a different kind of pain. When you know that they don't have your back you experience so much grief.

Family is supposed to love and be there for you but in my case that isn't true. I think that deep down in them is still a place that holds love for me. Or that is what I like to think.

But their trust and support? I know that I will never have that because when it comes down to Ronan and me, they would definitely choose him. And I would be alone yet again.

When I think about it I have always been alone. Eli and Jason have always been a duo considering they were the oldest. There are the twins, Nate and Chase, but I really can't say much about it considering they were inseparable even before they were born.

And then there are Dean and Cade. Despite us being triplets I have always felt like they were much closer, leaving me behind. If they are having a problem they share it with each other, never with me. It's like they forget I exist, that they have another sibling born on the same day as them.

So to sum it up, I have always been alone in this house full of boys.

"Are you ok?" I heard Gemma's voice. I glanced at her but she was already looking at me. Worry written all over her face. I hadn't realised I'd zoned out.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled at her. She narrowed her eyes like she didn't believe me but she didn't push further, instead she changed the topic to a movie we had seen recently.

Suddenly, the cafeteria's doors opened and everyone went silent. I turned around to look at the sudden intruder and I couldn't hide the shock on my face.

There in the middle of the cafeteria stood Peter. His jaw was clenched as he glared at my brothers' table. They glared back at him. Peter's fists were clenched making his knuckles almost white.

I thought they were about to start a fight so I stood up ready to stop them but Peter surprised me by turning around and going to his friends' table.

My brothers kept their eyes at him until he sat down. They looked at me for a brief moment before going back to what they were doing.

I sat back down on the table hoping that there won't be anymore fights between them.

I haven't talked to my brothers since Ronan came. I did my best to avoid them all.

To my surprise, Dean and Cade, tried to talk to me but I was still hurt from the other night when they didn't even bother to check if I was home, so I ignored them every time.

After the bell rang, I waved goodbye to Gemma and started to walk to my next class. Many students were rushing to their classes so I didn't see the body that bumped into me.

I looked up, ready to give the stranger a piece of my mind but those thoughts evaporated when I was met with Jax face.

His jaw was clenched making it seem like he was angry. I also noticed that he had a black eye and a cut on his lips.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked but he completely ignored me and walked away.

He didn't look well. Did something happen to him? For whatever reason I felt uneasy seeing him like that. I didn't have time to process if what I was about to do was right or not. I just had one thought in my mind, I needed to make sure he was okay.

So I went after him.

I made it to the parking lot where I spotted Jax near his car.

"Jax." I called his name. He looked up, confused as to why I was here. I was too. I didn't know what I was doing here either.

"What?"

"Are you okay?" He looked taken aback by my question but quickly composed himself.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He said harshly.

"You look angry and you are hurt." I answered genuinely worried about him. Why was I worried about him?

"I'm completely fine. Go now."

I wanted to go. I really wanted to but I couldn't. He clearly wasn't okay.

"I don't believe you."

"Why did you ask then." He said mockingly. He's getting on my nerves.

"I wanted to give you the opportunity to tell me the truth."

"And why would I tell you?"

I stilled not expecting that. He was right. Why would he tell me? I am nothing to him after all.

"I guess that's true. Sorry for bothering." I turned to leave but stopped when I heard his voice. "My father's a prick." I didn't expect him to say that.

"Did he do this to you?"

He didn't answer, just stayed silent. I didn't want to push him into telling me.

"I guess both our families suck." I said laughing a little.

"I don't know about your parents but your brothers love you." He said making me look at him.

"I doubt that."

"If they didn't care about you then they wouldn't beat Peter up or tell Aaron and his gang to stay away from you."

My eyes widened.

"I don't know what happened between you and them but one thing I know is that they still care about you."

"I don't believe you." I couldn't. If I did that would mean that I would open my heart to them again. I couldn't do that, not after they smashed it to pieces once.

"Believe it or not, I don't care." He shrugged.

"I have to go now." I said. He hummed in response.

"See you around?" I hate that it sounded like a question.

"We'll see."

That was all he said before I left and went inside the school.