Made For Me

Chapter 15

Nazli at 10 years old

As soon as my mother settles into the car, the tantalizing aroma of Sigara boregi fills the air, causing my stomach to rumble in anticipation. For as long as I can remember, my mom has lovingly prepared her famous cheese snacks for our road trips. She's well aware of my weakness for them, and yet, she enforces a strict rule that we must wait until we pass Gebze, which is an hour into our road trip, before indulging. Somehow, my mother's sixth sense always seems to kick in when I want to sneak a bite.

Our annual trip to Izmir in December has become a cherished tradition. "Mom, why do we visit Izmir every December?" I inquire.

"It's the perfect time for olive picking" she explains.

"That's my favorite part, Mom," I comment happily.

"Did you know that when you're feeling conflicted, the olive trees offer the best advice?" I looked at her confused. "Yes my little one, when you listen carefully and open your heart the trees help renew your spirit."

"Ah, here you go again with your sayings," my dad teased my mother.

I shake my thoughts away as the driver announced that it would take another two hours to reach Izmir. Throughout the journey, I struggled to contain my tears, I'm sure the lady next to me can hear my sniffles. I appreciated that she didn't hover.

It was hard to see how many times Ferit has attempted to call me but I don't have the strength to talk to him. I turned off my phone. I don't know why he is calling. It's over between us and I'm sure he is now happily enjoying his relationship with Pelin. Is he calling to gloat? No, I highly doubt Ferit would stoop to that level. I shake my head at that.

The bus arrives in Izmir at 9pm, and we quickly gather our belongings and walk off.  I hail a cab to depart from the city and head towards the rural outskirts of Izmir, where the Homer farm is located. Opting to rest for the night, I choose to check into a nearby hotel to sleep.

As I open the door to my hotel room, the harsh reality of this nightmare sets in. I decide to take a shower in an attempt to relax, but once I'm alone in bed, the floodgates open. Being by myself allows me to release my pent-up emotions, letting my insecurities and fears run wild. I tired myself out and go to sleep.

----***----

I spent the morning harvesting olives and placing them in carts. While some may view this as strenuous work, for me a food lover, this is entertainment. This is better than binge watching The Office. "Dodo, do you have any baby olive trees to plant?" Dodo, the farm owner, hands me a sapling. Filled with excitement, I start walking away from the staff to find the best spot. I go much further almost to the edge of the farm where you can see the Aegean sea. As I carefully plant the tree, I express my hopes, "May this spot yield abundant olives for you. My mom used to say nature is always on its own slow time because it accomplishes things to perfection." Tenderly, I pat the soil while speaking to the tree. I release a deep sigh, taking in the scenery before me. "This spot is beautiful, you have a view of the sea and can bask in the warmth of the sun. I wish I could stay here with you... I wish I could run away from the pain that awaits in Istanbul." I pull the bent envelope from my coat pocket.

"Hi" I turn my face and my eyes meet Ferit's and I am taken aback. "Ferit! Hi," I exclaim, a hint of surprise in my voice. Quickly drying my hands on my jeans, I stand up. Its been days since I last saw him and I find him even more captivating than the first time we ever met.

"I wish I could run away with you." He says sadly replying to my comment.

"Umm... h-how are you?" I ask nervously changing the conversation.